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ASD any advice?

6 replies

Peppapigisnotmyname · 29/05/2014 09:14

Any advice welcome - I'm at breaking point.

My DS is nine and has high functioning ASD. He's statemented, 20 hrs support a week in ms school. The school is supposed to be inclusive but basically it's not. DS is expected to fit in etc very inflexible and uncompromising to the extent that I have removed my dd aged 5 from there completely. I can't take DS out though as there's no space in other local schools and so we're stuck there for the next two years.

The amount of homework he gets is huge - for example he was expected to make a roman board game from modelling clay over half term (is that normal?) - when he read that he had a massive meltdown and was practically foaming at the mouth :( he is timed getting changed to and from PE - any longer than five minutes and his name 'goes on the board'. The classes are mixed up at the end of every year, there are only two classes and he has constantly been split from the few friends he has - now he's completely isolated. Obviously I've been in to complain several times but the answer is always the same - it's him, not us, we're never wrong. Like banging my head up against a brick wall.

I've thought about getting him some medication for his anxiety as it's so extreme - is it worth pursuing that? He's a very loving boy but very lonely. He's bright and kind but I can see he's struggling and it's mainly linked to school who won't bend. I don't know what to do - DH works long hours and finds DS hard to handle so their relationship isn't strong. I have absolutely no other support - his grandparents just don't get him, my own mum died some years ago, I'm on antidepressants myself as I'm struggling to cope ......

OP posts:
autumnsmum · 29/05/2014 09:18

Hi peppa I have a ds who is nine and has high functioning autism , sadly that amount of homework does seem
Normal we are having to do a project on the Ukraine crisis this week ! Personally I would consider medication have a unmumsnetty hug

OneInEight · 29/05/2014 09:36

Is his annual review coming up anytime soon - an ideal opportunity to ask for reasonable adaptions to be written into his statement. Parent partnership will attend such meetings with you if you feel you need back-up.

Is he under CAMHS at the moment - our GP told us he would be struck off if he prescribed anti-depressants for a child this age - but the CAMHS doctor was willing. Sadly, it was no great success for ds2 who was similarly very anxious and isolated as the side effects for him outweighed the benefits. I think he was unlucky in this respect though.

PolterGoose · 29/05/2014 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ineedmorepatience · 29/05/2014 15:43

I feel sorry for your Ds! His school is totally unsuitable for a child with his difficulties.

I would be ringing the LA SEN department on Monday morning and telling them that the school is not able to meet your sons needs and that they need to help you find somewhere that can.

I would stop doing homework altogether and tell the teacher that punishing a disabled child for not being quick enough to change for PE is disability discrimination!!

You are your sons best and only advocate and you need to fight for him before his mental health is damaged permanently.

Sorry if that sounds harsh, I dont mean to be but your son is suffering at the hands of the staff in that school Sad

pannetone · 29/05/2014 17:06

What is the 20 hours 'support' your Ds is getting? Does he have a TA allocated to him even for some of that time? The 'support' should include making adjustments.

I agree with ineed that the school's inflexibility amounts to disability discrimination. I think a stern letter to the school reminding them of their duty to make reasonable adjustments (under the Equality Act 2010) is needed. I have written 'that' letter to my DD's school - it didn't solve all the issues by any means but it certainly made the Head think again when he was trying to enforce a particularly unreasonable arrangement on my DD and it was dropped.

Unfortunately for my DD (Y4 HFA) her anxieties (and the unsuitability of the school) have reached the point where the GP has 'signed her off' as unfit for school while we wait for an appt with a doctor at CAMHS with a view to medication. It is a hard call whether DD's anxiety 'merits' medication or whether the medication would just be 'covering up' unsuitable school provision. With DS (Y7 HFA) we agreed to medication - he has been out of school (his first year of secondary) since Jan. The medication is helping but he still needs an appropriate placement - and it doesn't look like he will be returning to his MS large comprehensive.

DraggingDownDownDown · 29/05/2014 18:55

What area of the country are you?

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