Please or to access all these features

SN children

Here are some suggested organisations that offer expert advice on special needs.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Can I teach a child how to play?

14 replies

Eyelet · 28/05/2014 09:33

DD was oxygen starved at birth, she has CP but has eventually met all gross and fine motor milestones, orally fed and has now a functional level of language (so on paper looks pretty good) but she has without a doubt cognitive issues which have become very obvious since we had a second child and we can now see the innate natural curiosity which she has never had.

Most noticeably she doesn't play without a 1-2-1 aid helping her - she will run about outdoors, but after a fortnight her slide is being ignored, she will push her doll pram up the road with me, but as soon as we walk back inside she has forgotten it. She doesn't invent games with her friends, she doesn't 'get' puzzles or models, or drawing or craft and yet when she sits with an adult she will stay on task for a very great deal longer. She doesn't like reading or scribbling, can't ride her bike - has a completely defeatist attitude and simply won't try anything new. including toilet training but thats another story

She seems to see no point or joy in playing which upsets me a great deal - she just wants to sit on the sofa, watch endless runs of cbeebies and chew stuff. Can I help her? If so how? We have access to all sorts of specialists but nobody seems able to give us clues as to how we can help her enjoy the world around her.

OP posts:
Eyelet · 28/05/2014 09:34

Dammit. Meant to post in SN - have requested it is moved.

OP posts:
spiritofthetime · 28/05/2014 10:41

Yes you can. Do simple games with immediate rewards (e.g. She does a simple play task (putting a simple jigsaw together with your support and by simple I mean a 2 piece jigsaw) she then gets an immediate reward of bubbles/something else she loves. Gradually you build the tasks so she has more steps to get the motivator. I'm probably not explaining it very well! I had to do this with my DS (asd). There's a book tht may help you - geared towards kids with ASD but you may be able to adapt some of the principles:
www.jkp.com/catalogue/book/9781843106081

There are loads of books on the Jessica Kingsley site that may help you. Hope that helps a bit!

NoTeaForMe · 28/05/2014 10:48

How old is she eyelet ?

Eyelet · 28/05/2014 11:09

Noteaforme She will be four in a few weeks. She starts SN preschool for extra support in September as we have been advised to delay her start at school for a year as she is summer born with dev. delays. Anything she tries she just gives up - and the whining is nonstop because she is bored (I think) but has no way of entertaining herself at all.

Thanks spiritofthetime will go look that up

OP posts:
Eyelet · 28/05/2014 11:12

I should add she is not considered autistic, but has lack of higher level function (according to her paed team) and so presents with ASD traits? That was in the last report we received but no one explained it to us.

OP posts:
TheIronGnome · 28/05/2014 11:12

You could look into some of the ABA exercises. Many of them are geared towards encouraging play and teaching play and social skills

spiritofthetime · 28/05/2014 19:45

Hope it helps, eyelet. TBH a lot of the play strategies used for kids with asd are transferable to NT kids who are having difficulty playing so they will hopefully help a little. You could also look at floortime, which is a US program for helping play skills. PM me if you want more info and I will dig it put for you.

RowanMumsnet · 28/05/2014 22:21

Sorry we took so long to get to this OP; we've moved it for you now.

zzzzz · 29/05/2014 00:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose · 29/05/2014 08:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OTforKids · 02/06/2014 11:44

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Eyelet · 02/06/2014 22:40

Thank you the advice, I'm determined to try and help but we think we have another issue as well.

Dd1 was almost three when her sister was born and at that point she was pretty mich non verbal with horrendous frustration in being unable to communicate. Up until I had baby we had effectively been joined at the hip, she had a good relationship with DH but I spent most of my time with her on my hip or very close by. We knew it would change when baby arrived but what we hadn't banked on was me being unwell. Not only was I away for four days after delivery ans dd1 wasn't able to visit but I was obviously unwell when I came home and I think that frightened her. Longer term I am completely unable to lift her unless its an emergency as my stomach ans back muscles are fucked.

so this week she has learnt the word need, and she hss incessantly been asking me to lift her, cuddle her, play with her and I'm wondering whether her refusal to play alone or develop play is being made worse with lack of attention? There is categorically no doubt she does have a low IQ and poor processing, its very obvious when you spend time with her. But I am worried that because I have to balance both of them she isn't getting what she needs from me?

She

OP posts:
zzzzz · 02/06/2014 22:49

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hanifah1 · 03/06/2014 01:09

Spiritofthetime- can you PM with more information on the US floor time program please. Thanks

New posts on this thread. Refresh page