Gone too far this time!!!!

[Hadtochangemyusername]

Incredible!!! I and I suspect many of you are used to misunderstandings, ignorance of friends/family and strangers. But this really does take things to another level IMO.

Being careful what I write as this situation has caused me to be extremely paranoid. But the upshot is that a "friend" has reported me and my DH to Social Services!!!!

Without going into details all I can say is, previous to the report to SS, I have had a medical professional visit our house, and a teacher; and yet this "friend" says our house is a mess and a cause of my son's OCD! Neither of those professionals had an issue with the environment.

They said a few other things too; none of which amount to abuse for anyone including me or DCs!

Have to say I've been overwhelmed by all the professionals who've supported me since this report has gone in but I am struggling to get to terms with the fact someone has done this to us. None of the professionals believe it, and nor do any of my true friends.

I feel absolutely betrayed and if I felt like I was struggling to cope before this with DS1s condition which has deteriorated over the past 12 months; they may well have walked me up to the top of a building and given me a push! (No, not going to do anything silly!)

Just step back & take one day at a time, until this too passes.

Sometimes social services can sign post you to or even obtain initial appointments with other useful services e.g they can get your name pushed up NHS waiting lists, or nag the education department to do it's job - imho this part of the service they offer is well worth the cost of a cup of tea and some biccies IF they even bother to visit .

Life's too short to give your ex-friend the satisfaction of a reaction to gloat over. Just focus on what truly matters.

Honk Honk

I will never confront "ex-friend"! Just not my style but get the feeling they'd enjoy every minute.

They're not going to visit. another professional has stopped it and that professional will be visiting instead! not that they need to considering I've had 2 recent visits with people vouching for me, but hey - they're crossing the t's and dotting the i's!

Thank you both. It's just eating me up!

You'll be alright. I promise. It's the betrayal and down-right unfairness of it all. Someone I know called SS in advance of me asking for a carers assessment to tell them I was a greedy liar and they should not give me any support. They also reported me to the job centre to say I was claiming DLA fraudulently. They had a disabled child themselves and were also a professional in a related field. That took a bit of getting over but in the end you just come to terms with the fact that arseholes exist out there and move on.

You REALLY do have to deal with your feelings about the devestating and cruel unfair allegations though because IME you'll come across them regularly. This has led ME to disengage fro most services even for my NT child because I don't want records or opinions flying around about us, as they take yonks to straighten out even if you find out about them. You're lucky you know about this one and have a chance to sort it.

I'm another one who now tries to keep services at arms length nowadays. I haven't totally mastered the art of indifferent detachment but I'm working on it.

That doesn't mean I'm unwilling to engage with people, just that if ever there is a choice of an LA group and an independently run activity, my choice seems to always lean towards the independent one nowadays.

imho it's not the stuff you hear about that's dangerous - it's the things that you don't.

well. glad to say at least I know who has done this to us! Feel so pleased and lucky to have the professionals we have involved with DS1! (not always been the case - been a long hard slog TBH).

My advice to anyone on here is to be very aware of who you trust!

Thanks all for your support. Probably go back to my usual name from now on :-)