Tribunal - take the child yes or no?

[WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes]

I need to send in the attendance form for a refusal to assess hearing next month. I have to decide whether to take DS.

One of my concerns about DS, who has AS, dyspraxia and speech and language difficulties) is that he is vulnerable because he is small, weak and has immature speech. He could easily be mistaken for an 8 year old when in fact he is 10. This has been picked up by independent EP and SALT. Therefore it makes sense that in order to fully appreciate this the panel need to meet him.

On the other hand, despite being a generally polite and unassuming child, he gets bored easily, fidgets, interrupts and will probably make it harder for me to concentrate. Then again this is also part of the problem.

He knows he's been having extra assessments to try and get him some extra help, but doesn't really know the full story. He is basically happy enough at school and is somewhat oblivious to his shortcomings. I am worried that he might paint too positive a picture!

Any experience, thoughts on this one?

Sadly I don't think you are allowed to take children into Tribunal. .

I've been wondering this as DS saying how badly mainstream failed him & how much happier he is now we've found an alternative has far more impact than my saying it - it's the bluntness and factual way he describes his experiences that I cannot hope to match.

The attendance form has a box asking whether the child is attending?

Glad your DS is happier now bochead, are you in the process of statementing?

You can take a child with you. But whilst the hearing is going on, your child will be your responsibility. Which, in effect, means you'll have to bring someone else with you to look after your child in the waiting room, whilst you are in the hearing room.

I was strongly advised not to - for several reasons.

• The most "difficult" and "severest" (for want of better words) of children might become overawed by the proceedings and will become the most meek and mild and compliant of children. This will undermine your case if you are arguing, for example, that your child can't concentrate. You really don't want a quiet, compliant child at Tribunal.

• But nor do you want a child who is bouncing off the walls. It would be highly stressful for all involved if this happens.

• If your child goes, you will (naturally) be worried about them (even if a trusted friend/relative is looking after them). They will become a distraction to you when you should be concentrating on the challenges of the day. It is a very stressful day. You really don't need your child there to add to your stress. You will find that even things like the journey to the hearing will be stressful (am I going to get there on time, train/traffic is too slow etc etc). Having your child there will probably add to your stress.

Also, a lot of the proceedings on the day is often a psychological battle between you and the LA (staring at each other, and who blinks first wins - kinda-of-thing). It carries on out of the hearing room - for me, the LA started to psychological intimidate me when we were waiting at the security desk waiting to be signed into the building. There is no way I'd want my child to witness any of those kind of antics.

If it has been noted that he can be mistaken for a younger child, then this will be noted in the reports. The tribunal do read everything so they will read this. You could also emphasis it in your own evidence during the hearing.

I really won't take my DC with me.

Thank you. Every instinct says no to be honest, I don't want him party to it all, plus he gets very stressed by delays on journeys etc, plus finding someone else to bring, plus he will be a distraction full stop. I'm just trying to consider everything with a view to maximising the chances of success.

I am dreading this, it's going to overshadow the whole summer.

Unless there are exceptional reasons to take the child I would not. Once the child says something it is very difficult to remove it from the Tribunal mind. Schools are very good at putting questions in such a way that the child answers honestly which the LA then contort. "You have lots of friends at school dont you Freddie" Freddie the ASD child to the core.
Better to video a set of questions and serve that on the Tribunal and LA.

Good point, they are used to trying to please people they know from school. I could video him and submit that as evidence, that's a good idea. I'd really like to video him trying and failing to join in a game or conversation with his peers, but don't see how I can manage it TBH. Might have to enlist the help of some other mums.

I was advised to take a photo of DS and put it up as soon as we got in the room as hardly anybody in the tribunal would even know what DS looked like.
I didnt have to in the end because we resolved at mediation but that was the advice given.

This will be my second tribunal.

My lad's home edded at present and the next tribunal should sort out secondary placement I hope. (Took new LA 6 months to offer a very poorly supported school placement after our move and by then we were settled with an online school so we are sticking with that while work thru the tribunal processes in order to get the therapies on his original statement reinstated).

We took a large photo of Dd3, I propped it up against the water jug facing slightly towards the LA rep! To remind her that we were there about a child not just a wad of paper

The panel thanked me for taking the photo as they said they hardly ever see the actual child that they are discussing.

We took a large photo of Dd3, I propped it up against the water jug facing slightly towards the LA rep! To remind her that we were there about a child not just a wad of paper

The panel thanked me for taking the photo as they said they hardly ever see the actual child that they are discussing.

Good luck

Ooops stupid tablet again

I wondered about taking a photo but it was the first thing that the panel asked to see. I wouldn't take him in person though because he is an unreliable witness and will say anything to please and then obsess about how he was tricked. The vulnerable are easy to trick.

I just don't think seeing the adults in their life be that teachers, parents etc in any adversarial situation like a Tribunal is always going to be is healthy for kids tbh.

If staff from the child's actual school are going to be sitting on the dark side at tribunal then I think that's potentially a flat out piece of emotional abuse of the child given how nasty, spiteful and dishonest some LA's can be. LA's do not always behave in a professional and civilised manner - some seem to try and compete with the now thankfully disgraced Max Clifford on the shady dealings scale.

We all know that the last thing they consider in many cases is the child's welfare or there wouldn't be a Tribunal hearing to fight for access to a merely adequate education happening in the first place!

I'd be interested to know more about what video evidence is and isn't submissable simply because the environment affects my lad to a greater degree than people realise. Being able to show the Tribunal what he's like in a quite calm environment compared to when he's in an environment that overwhelms him would be quite helpful to my case I think. Sounds horrid to say it, but now he's not at school managing his day to day behavior is easy for me whereas he's still a bit of a nightmare in some places to keep under control.

One of the reasons that I wouldn't take DS1 is because he would see people that he had been encouraged to trust, screw him over. I couldn't do that to him. I want him to learn to trust but know who to trust iykwim and spare him the pain of betrayal.

^keepingon^ you put it far more succinctly than I.

It's about protecting our children from emotional harm and betrayal by trusted adults is a pain that can last an entire lifetime.

I attached a colour photo onto the front of copies of my evidence and paperwork for tribunal. I made sure it was attached to the county paperwork also so they knew I had given a photo to the panel. I wanted her to be seen as the vulnerable , smiling , sweet natured and low maturity child she is as that was the whole reason for asking for a non maintained special school. I would have liked to take her but I could not guarantee she would be true to herself as they do get used to behaving how they are expected to after years of tests and questions. They need to put a face to the name though definitely and the video would be good if allowed. Children generally do not stay long though and would be expected to be taken out by another person once discussions start.