Hi, this is my first post on SN, but id thought id come straight here rather than behaviour/development. I've just re read what I've posted and it's a massive ramble I'm afraid, but it's taken some courage to write it, so I'll leave it as is. Just looking for some advice, support from others who've been in a similar situation I guess?
My 18 mo dd2 isn't walking or talking yet and has been late with other milestones. She pushes her trolley along and walks with our hands and has done for about 3 months. DD1 (6) walked at 17 mo and is hyper mobile so haven't been particularly worried about the physical side, more the cognitive/communication side.
her sleep was dreadful for a long time,but has improved since about 15 months. Still breast feed her in the morning and night as its the only way to calm her when she wakes up. Otherwise she just flings herself backwards flailing uncontrollably and sobs.
She waved and clapped at 17 mo, but the wave is like a floppy hand up and down, but does seem to get it now I think. Clapping is sporadic and won't really do it 'to order'. pointing was at about 17 mo, it is with index finger about 50% of time, outstretched hand etc the rest. She will follow a point, Reach out for dogs/cars etc in the street and point out things such as a dog, lion in a book. She has shared interest with some things, eg if we watch 'Night Garden' she will reach out or point at the telly and look back at me laughing/smiling.she loves peekaboo.
Her eye contact with me is good, but if anyone outside of the family talks to her, she just turns away. she will not engage with them. She loves her sister, and is better with older children, but other children her age make her uncomfortable, she will move away, lie on the floor etc as she just cannot cope. we've started a v calm music group that she is getting used to slowly, but I avoid toddler groups tbh. If a child takes something from her she just crumples and is V upset. But wouldn't retaliate.
Her speech is also behind, she tries to say hello when waving, but it comes it v mangled. She seems to stick her tongue out alot at the moment and does it in an 'odd' way when attempting to make some sounds. She clicks her tongue for duck sound and does the horse clip clop sound, oof for woof and ooh ooh, monkey and sssss snake. But that's it. She loves nursery rhymes. But can't do actions etc. she points to your nose if asked, and toes, but other body parts are a bit pot luck.
She came on quite a bit at 17 mo, but hasn't moved on again. At the moment her sleep has dipped again, she seems Ill but with no symptoms iykwim, easy to fall, easy to sob, Keeps lying on the floor and kicking legs like a baby on its back, her canines are coming through so some of this am be due to that, but the developmental stuff is def not teething. I was with a friend and her 10 mo dd, she engages much more than dd2, clapping, waving, always looking at other people and smiling and giggling, passing the ball back between us etc, made for v depressing watching tbh.
She seems quite a long way behind her peers tbh and am sick with worry. I think about it all day and night. My nephew has Aspergers, he is now 13yo and much more settled, but I've seen first hand how difficult for the entire family such a developmental problem can have, I feel so worried about dd1 who is in year 1 aNd so happy and settled, but I can feel myself neglecting her more and more whilst I deal with dd2 and am scared for the future and the effect any problems DD1 has will have on her.
I went to the HV with my concerns 2 months ago, who was useless tbh, the GP a bit better, he said of things hadn't cimproved in 3 months to come back and he'd refer us. I suppose Im asking if you think I need to go back to him, I think I know the answer but I can't quite face it. DH just keeps saying 'she's fine'. He is out of the house each weekday from 6-8pm, do he just doesn't see it day to day, he also has no idea what an 18 mo should be doing tbh. TIA.