Dont know why i'm so sad

[ScienceGeekandProud]

First time poster, long time lurker. We started the assessment process for my beautiful and smart 10y DD last year - final diagnosis is likely to be a way off, given how slow the wheels turn. However, the Speech Therapist (behavioural specialist) has just told me that my DD is very likely to have Aspergers. Not traits, or maybes, but yes, she is showing 'all the classic signs'.

We've had this in our minds for many years - but would always dismiss our concerns as 'she'll grow out of it', 'she's just sensitive'. But now, those differences that were subtle have become more obvious as she gets older.

We started the process to get help to support her - transitions can be demanding - and a formal diagnosis, I'm sure will help, particularly with High School looming on the horizon.

But I'm still sad. I wouldn't change her for the world - she is loving, loyal, smart - well, basically all you could ever want in another person. But I know she is going to face challenges along the way.

I'm not even really sure why I'm posting here now - just wanted to be able to share this with someone. In RL, our elderly parents are unlikely to understand - and friends are more likely to be judgemental than supportive.

Thank you Polter. We've been wondering how to approach the chat with her - last night she asked why everyone (professionals) were so interested in her. I think I fudged an answer, but she has said before that she doesn't like to be 'different', so trying to find a positive approach without using such terms was a challenge. We decided not to mention AS just yet, until we really have a final answer, but have been gently paving the way for a while, just in case.

When did your DS go through the assessment process?

I think if we'd started the process earlier, she would have been identified then too. But, we felt that differences were just differences and not problems at the time, so we waited (with hindsight, a little bit of sticking our heads in the sand).

So, less than an hour later and I'm feeling less sorry for myself and my self-indulgent whinge let me get it out .

She's still the same DD who cuddles, and giggles as she was when she left for school this morning. So, nothings really different.

Hello and welcome

I do think the glacial speed of the process can contribute to periods of meh. It's a bit of a limbo land.

We were in limbo land for 4.5 years. It wasn't nice.

for you.

Hi science and welcome to the board. I have a Dd with Asd/Aspergers, she is 11 and was diagnosed when she was 9.

Obviously her difficulties are a huge part of our lives but that was the same before her dx. She is very comfortable in her skin and seemed almost relieved when I told her about her dignosis. Knowing about it freed her from trying to be something she is not and although she still masks her symptoms very carefully at school at home she doesnt and it is lovely to see the real her.

For us the final diagnosis has been positive but the journey to get there was hard.

Good luck

Thanks to everyone for your welcome here - flowers, cake and tea were very welcome. (there may also have been RL wine last night!)

Realistically, I think we'll have a final diagnosis by the end of the year, maybe early 2015. So, one will be in place before high school. Those early months in Y7 will be difficult for her - with a diagnosis in place, I'm hoping that at least some of the teachers will be understanding.

I did some online test for myself - mine was borderline - high score, but not high enough (cant remember of the top of my head). I have yet to persuade my husband, but he has very clear symptoms too.