BAD tantrums. Can't take it anymore.

[adrianna22]

My DS, who's four, has a severe language delay, plus has an autism diagnosis, which is still being debated about.

He has these bad tantrums, simply because he does not get what he wants.

Like today, we walked past the park and he pointed to play on some car driving toy. I told him "..not today as we are in a hurry..". He then tried to take me to that direction, but I still held firm and before I knew it..that annoying high pitched crying voice started. He cried, carefully positioned himself on the floor and then began to kick his legs in the air, wailing. People looking at me, wondering if I'm abusing him in any way. The way he cries is terrible, like the earth has ended, he has this bad high-pitched crying voice, which you can hear from the other side of the road.

When we got home, he started to cry again as I was ignoring him and he literally pulled my eyes towards his and cry till I give him a big or something.

He is literally like this every time he does not get what he wants. I just don't get it. I thought it must be some routine issue, because of the autism. But then I realised that it can't be as he does not get upset by routine changes and surely, is it a routine problem if a child does not get what he/she wants?

He would cry in the supermarket if I do not buy him treats, he would cry in the toy store if I don't buy that special toy, he would cry if I do not take him nandos as he loves the kids meal. It's like every time I treat him to the things he loves the most, he expects to have it every time we go there. Plus the way he reacts is not subtle, it's really really bad.

I'm just at my wits end. I feel like I cannot take him out anywhere, simply because if he spots that favourite shop that sell those yummy ice-creams he would cry. I should be able to enjoy outings with my DS, but I feel like I can't. What can I do? Is my DS spoilt? is it my fault? Why is he behaving like this?

I agree with polter - all his behaviour (autistic and NT) is just his behaviour. It reminds of a time when I was asked this classic question:

'so is an autistic three year old just like a normal three year old but a bit naughtier'

Your DS is just who he is. We all know it is difficult when our child is screaming and everyone is judging us - but it's a learning process - you can only parent the child you have.

Hi everyone, just an update of what's being going on with DS and I have to say he has surprised me.

We went to the shop and DS pointed to an ice-cream, I didn't say anything to him and pretend that I did not hear him and continued with my shopping. I did say "no", I forgot to use positive language. He did throw a little strop and thew his banana peel on the floor. But, there no crying, no screaming, no carefully dropping down to the ground and kicking his legs.

It has been a week and ever since I have used this approach, even though he still throws a strop. There's no more bad tantrums. I do find this a bit weird about DS not throwing tantrums as much.