Don't know if a special school is good for my DS anymore

[adrianna22]

Hi everyone

I was determined to get my DS into a specialised speech school, but I'm not so sure anymore. As DS current school thinks he may not need it.

I'm not going to lie, despite my DS's severe language delay he is very capable of coping in a mainstream school, he is toilet trained, can feed dress himself..good at coping with change in the school routine and transitioning and can communicate, despite his severe language skills. But, I am aware as my DS grows up, his language would seriously have an impact on him.

So, I am at loss at what I can do, It would be my dream for DS to talk and have that intensive speech therapy. But, I'm wondering if I want DS to go to a spec liaised school for the wrong reasons as I want my DS to talk.

Also, is it bette for my DS to be in a school around other kids who are already having difficulties in language or is it better for my DS to go to a school where there is a lot of language around him.

I don't know anymore.

It is a difficult choice. We have spent the year agonizing over the best choice of secondary schools for ds1 and ds2 and still not reached a satisfactory conclusion for ds1.

Two things to bear in mind.

The decision is reversible. So if later on you find the match is not good you can rethink. It is likely this will be easier in the special school to mainstream direction than vice versa but still possible either way.

Second, the staff in mainstream may not have a good idea of what the special school is like - I guess most people's impression of special schools is those that cope with learning difficulties and they are not all in that category. I have a vivid memory of one of the TA's at ds1's school telling him when his behaviour got really challenging that he really would not want to go to an EBD school and that she wouldn't want to work there (done with best intentions). In actual fact it is a far better fit for him than mainstream at least in primary.

I agree with one if there was a school for children with HFA/Aspergers in my LA I would be banging on the door to get Dd3 in. She needs to be around people who have a really good understanding of her issues and not just think they know about autism because they have been on a one day course.

I also agree that you are not making the decision forever, children can and do move schools to find the best fit for them at different times in their school lives.

Try not to think of wanting one school to work throughout your childs journey, it will make it a lot easier for you to ensure you get the best fit for him as his needs change.

Good luck

The harsh truth is that if your DS was going to learn language skills from his peers he wouldn't have severe language difficulties. Most children learn language by being exposed to it but your DS needs more than that.

A specialist environment will be making sure that language development is at the heart of all his teaching. A mainstream school will be teaching what they're teaching, then trying to make it accessible for your DS.

It is much easier to transfer to MS out of SS than the other way around.

what lougle said. if he could learn by being exposed to NT peers he would have learned by now.

I see what you mean by having him exposed to verbal peers but there will not be much benefit for your DS if he cannot access the verbal communication.

my Dd has asd and very severe speech and language issues. she attends MS with 1:1 support. whilst her TA is brilliant, I can see how the school/teaching environment as a whole is not very much geared up to her needs. we see the Salt only 3 x a year. I really wish we could have sent her to a S&L unit (not possible in our LA with a Asd dx).

If you have the option of a good speech & language school (or unit), I would not hesitate a second. you can always tranafer back to MS if (or when) your DS speech
and language comes on.

for now, I would give him the chance to close the gap by sending him to the speech and language school.

Tbh it depends on your child, my dd had severe speech delay at 3.5 but is now moderately delayed 6 months later and I do feel mainstream nursery has helped, she mimicks everyone (including teachers which is amusing to listen to)

In the last few weeks I took her off all dairy and gluten containing products and I have seen her adding more words and speaking with more clarity which is amazing as she would blend all her words beforehand.

I seriously think that you should consider verbal behaviour therapy, it focuses on language development more so than behaviour and I think it's much much better than speech and language.

Hi everyone

Thanks for your advise. @ lougle I thought the exact same thing when the nursery staff told me.

Yep, because of my DS's ASD diagnosis, no speech unit will take my DS. I have looked at ASD units, but they don't really focus on language. So my next option was the speech school in surrey, which do take kids with ASD. But! speech needs to be their main issue.

Also, when looking at the speech school, the kids did not "look severe", of course I don't know the kids.

Why is it hard for a child to transfer into a special school? than the other way round?

I guess it boils down to £££. pretty sure MS is often the
cheaper option.

Yep, mainstream is usually the cheaper option.

Plus, the SEN team have been brainwashed to think inclusivity equals mainstream disregarding the fact that a child can be far more excluded in mainstream than in special school. Bodily presence does not mean the child is included.

No wonder, because I nearly gasped when the school told me that it cost 30 grand a year! if I want my DS to be placed there. Plus I would have to convince my LA why my DS needs to go to that school.

However this school does not have an autism specialist on board..should this matter?

Actually, £30K a year is on the cheap side for a special school. Some are over £100K.

I saw a video clip recently showing how, in a specialist S&L school, it was standard practice before each lesson to have a short session with a therapist when she would go through the vocabulary they were going to encounter, explaining it, giving them practice in using it in different contexts, looking at how it would change in the plural or, if it was a verb, according to whether it is past, present, passive etc. So during the lesson the children would be able to understand immediately what is being said and wouldn't go through it in a fog of incomprehension. It really brought it home to me just how valuable a special school can be for some children.