Im at my wits end , i cant even leave the house anymore

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Ds is 5 & has been under a paediatrician for almost 2 years for his Sleep problems & suspected ADHD/AS & the Doctor is less than useful just keeps saying that he can't give me any kind of diagnosis until he has video evidence of his behaviour which is easier said than dons as Ds won't let me film him & if I try he breaks my phone

The Doctor just keeps requesting reports from his school & done nothing else too help .

Ds behaviour has gotten to the point that I can no longer leave home with him as its just not safe , he is a very strong/fast 5 year old with no concept of danger , he will just run and keep on going not bothering about roads/traffic etc .

He has a wrist strap but he Xan escape from it (he bites it open) so that's useless & he had a little life bag but he did eventually figure out how to open it so I can't use that anymore either .
I feel like a prisoner in my own home , I can't even let him in the garden as he can climb over the 6ft gate

when I do take him out he swears , kicks , screams etc to the point where I just sit down and cry .
He has trashed my home , No longer has any respect for me or our home

I'm torn between angry & devastated as he is just getting worse instead of better & I dread every waking moment now

I don't know what to do , I can barely stand to be around him anymore & I hate feeling this way

*but he can

You sound so fed up :( I don't understand why the doctor needs video of your DS behaviour ? Surely your word should be good enough.

Could you ask for another doctors opinion ?

Have you have tried waist straps for leaving the house ?

Sadly Proffs find it easier to blame parents for childrens difficulties rather than looking for a real cause. Have you kept a diary of his issues, what causes them (if you know) and how you manage them.

If you cant jump through the hoops that they want you to jump through you could try asking for a second opinion.

There are safer harnesses I think made by
Houdini that he shouldnt be able to escape from just so you can get out of the house.

It must be so hard to feel like you are trapped in the house. Are his school supporting you ?

Babies Sadly I think he wants video evidence because he questions my parenting skills because I'm young

I'll have a look at the waist straps

need I have kept a diary & shown it to the Doctor but he just keeps saying he needs video evidence

Ds has only just recently started acting out at school so his Teacher wasn't seeing his behaviour much before , he is in a very small school with only 14 students in his class & 100 students in the school , he just wouldn't cope in a main stream school .
I'll have a look at the Houdini straps , Thanks

St Thomas's childrens hospital in London has a superb sleep clinic under Professor Gringrass - DEMAND a referral!

Likewise if your GP won't refer you after a couple of years of asking then ask around in your area to find one who will. It's easy to do - you just go to the new surgery and give your details, and then transfer all the record etc. You never have to step foot in the old GP's office again.

(I'm taking my own advice on this btw and changing GP from a right old plonker to a new one as soon as we move a mile or so down the road next month - despite only having been with him 6 months following a relocation.)

A good GP can make all the difference in the world, while a bad one can just make life 20x harder than it should be. Life is hard enough raising a disabled child without having to put up with a barrier to service provision like an unhelpful/ out of touch/just won't listen GP.

familylives.org.uk/how-we-can-help/online-parenting-courses/triple-p/ Register for & do this parenting course just so any idiots can tick the box on their paperwork and so that they cannot use your youth as evidence of poor parenting any longer.

I think changing GP and doing that online parenting course will help knock down the barriers to accessing professional support you are experiencing at the moment.

Thanks boc I'll definitely do that course

For the sleep clinic I'm actually in the north west so im not sure that would be viable unfortunately .
I'm definitely changing GP as mine is less than useless so thanks for the advice .

Keep coming on here for support so, I was a young mum (once upon a time) when I had Dd1 and found it impossible to get my voice heard.

Arm yourself with knowledge, read as much as you can. Ask loads of questions on here so you are speaking to the Proffs on a level.

Dont let them talk you down, you know your son better than anyone and dont let anyone tell you otherwise .

Good luck

Thank you .

Sounds like new doctor time - the request for video evidence sounds unreasonable, I've never been asked for that although dd s ASD very evident w severe delays sensory seeking. In the meantime can nursery film him? You sound worn out - try as many service providers as you can to get help, my dd recently got hard to control - big, mobile, non-compliant and it has been v v stressful

Bringing someone (the older and posher, the better) with you to appointments can help. They can get politely stroppy on your behalf.

Next door neighbour? Old health visitor? One of his grandparents?

School nurses are a bit variable, but when you get a good one, they are really, really good (ime)

I asked his school nurse for help but she couldn't wouldnt do anything because he was ok at school .
I dong have anybody bossy I could take with me unfortunately

Sounds similar to my 8 yr old, it is so exhausting isn't it! I'm going to look into that course as well.
The only advice I can think of is asking the head teacher to contact the gp, that's where we are at the minute

He has only just recently (past few weeks) started to be defiant etc at school so I don't think the Head would do that just yet tbh

I'm quite lucky in that the head is going through the referral process based on the little she has seen herself and listening to what I have to cope with at home.
I know he is school aged now so I don't know if your local children's centre can help but ours does a parenting course called the Soulihull Parenting course, which is great for a lot of different issues.
I completely understand the difficulty in filming him, my son would also try and break anything I used to film him with and it does seem strange for the doctor to insist on that, however if they do carry on insisting would they accept a sound recording, you could place whatever you used to record out of sight and although you wouldn't be able to see how he was acting out you would be able to get the gist of it across with the shouting, screaming, swearing etc.

The only parenting course 'local' too me is 10 miles away & starts at 8am , I did get sent on it by the health visitor but their is no way I could of been in 2 places at once

I'll try and do audio recordings & I might try and pick up a cheap camcorder to record him on

A parenting course that starts at 8am- that's mad, how do they expect you to do the school run- I wouldn't have been able to do that either.

Good luck with trying to get some 'proof' although I feel you have given the doctor all the proof they need sometimes we just have to bite our tongues and jump through hoops

Try Crelliing Harnesses

Thanks English , I'll have a look Star

My 4 yr old with ASD has a Crelling walking harness, which we got though the OT.
They are basically a set of reins, just bigger & harder to get out of.

I think they are about £100 to buy if you can't get the the OT to help, though I'd try some of the SN selling groups on FB as they come up there sometimes.

www.crelling.com/walking-reins.html

These are the ones I mean

Sorry I couldn't link before, I was on my phone

Thanks Wanda

So sorry to hear of your troubles.
I agree with other posters who suggest you need a new GP. A good GP will refer you to an ENT specialist who may well arrange for your DS to have a sleep study.
Does he snore? If so, rather than video evidence, is it possible for you to record his snoring on your phone? I did this with my DS and the GP was genuinely shocked that a 14 month old could snore so loudly. I also managed to catch a significant delay in his breathing so he was referred to the ENT consultant for sleep apnoea.
There is a lot of evidence that sleep apnoea and ADHD are linked. Good luck.

dead he doesn't snore but he has a very noticeable breathing delay while asleep which in turn keeps me awake worrying .
Going to register with a new doctor this week & that way I can take him next week while its half term