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Helping my DD tune in to people

1 reply

strawberryshoes · 15/05/2014 10:12

Hi all, DD has undiagnosed SEN. We have an initial appt with paed in June, but in the meantime she needs help learning to tune in to people around her. She is 3.8 and at preschool 5 mornings.

She wants to have friends and play with other children but clearly struggles to know how, and sometimes just isn't switched on to what other people are saying and doing. I have been working on getting her to always respond if someone says hello or hi, but 50% of the time it is like she doesn't notice them when they speak to her unless I prompt her and ask her to say hello to the person that has greeted her.

I also think her difficulty being social is because she has not learnt the body language and non verbal lessons most people pick up naturally, again because she isn't tuned in to people.

Does anyone have any tips on how to help her to focus on people, what they are saying and doing, so I can try to teach her some of the things she doesn't get at the moment?

I am simply heartbroken when she comes home and says x said she was not her friend and she would not play with her, but I know it was probably because DD spent the whole time trying to make her play by getting right up to her face ask asking her if they were friends and if she wanted to play. Poor thing is really starting to notice that the others do not seem to like her, and she doesn't know why.

OP posts:
pannetone · 15/05/2014 21:54

I haven't got any specific advice but have you explained your concerns to the pre-school? Obviously they are in a position to help your DD with social cues and modelling social behaviour. After all, whether your DD has SEN or not, all pre school children need to learn socialisation skills to some degree.

I feel for you and your DD in that she obviously has the social awareness to want to make (and keep!) friends, but the skills aren't 'finely-tuned' yet. But I think that the 'wanting friends' is good in itself. The issue with my DD (now 9, selectively mute and HFA) was that she didn't want to interact with others and as well as not initiating social stuff, she withdrew from friendly gestures from other children.

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