I read somewhere that on Eastenders..

[bundle]

...Honey & Billy's baby girl (about to be delivered) will have Down Syndrome.

I just wondered what people thought about this (assuming they treat the whole subject "responsibly")

[geekgrrl]

here's a quote from 'Inside Soap' by the Eastenders actors, someone just posted it on DS-UK:


Emma: I think it's really important to show that children with Down's syndrome can lead perfectly normal lives.
Perry: We've had a lot of support from both Eastenders and outside charities. I really want to put across the message that having a child with Down's syndrome can be very positive in people's lives.

Sounds v. positive, so I'm sure the adoption thing isn't true.

[Thomcat]

Yes absolutley MI - I'll never forget how I was told that Lottie did in fact have DS.

These medical proffesional may be very very intelligent people but they have absolutley no people skills, well in my limited experience anyway.

[Thomcat]

That sounds v promising geekgrrl

[MrsFio]

no the paed who told us had no bedside manner so to speak, infact he was vile. each appointment was worse than the last one

the paed we have now is lovely, and although realistic, she treats dd as dd and nothing else

[bundle]

TC did you talk to the hospital trust about it? I've met families who've been involved in reviewing communications training etc for health professionals because of bad experiences. I went to a lecture that medical students had (with actors playing parts) re: breaking such news. The core of it was: how would you like to be told?

[geekgrrl]

to be honest, I'm not sure anyone could have dressed it up as anything other than terrible news for us. I was utterly devastated (and then 5 days later dd's heart defect was diagnosed - talk about kick in the teeth when you're already on the ground ).

But yes, I agree that it is very important to do a good job when telling parents. One of my old midwives rang me a while ago for a chat and to off-load - they had a mother on the ward who had been told the news v. badly and was now refusing to take her baby girl with DS home with her.

[bundle]

oh geekgirl, that's awful

[Thomcat]

We did mention it to people Bundle but to be honest we had so many other thigns on our mind we kind of let it go.

After she told us she spent every day thereafter pushing us to have genetic conselling as all our future children would have Down's syndrome, becasue Lottie was translocation. Turned out to be bollocks. She is translocation but a fluke and neither D or I are carriers.

Also as I sat down to hear the 'bad news', she said 'ohh would you mind sitting on that plastic seat, you're probably still bleeding and I don't want blood on my sofa'.
So i was made to leave the sofa next to my DP and sit on a hard plastic chair.

Stupid bitch!

All I could think of was why are you wearing ten tonne of lipstick, none of which is actually on your lips.
She must have applied it whilst running along a corridor in her court shoes.

[bundle]

@ her comment re sofa

[geekgrrl]

TC, what a bitch!!!!!


They were nice enough at our hospital. Friendly and positive. Had problems getting hold of someone to give us the genetic test results though, so were in anguished limbo for longer than necessary.

[motherinferior]

It's a notoriously poorly handled issue. Worked on a report on it a while back, I vaguely remember.

[geekgrrl]

the DSA have just published the results of a survey they did earlier this year. Things have improved but still aren't great.

[fattiemumma]

there was a girl on my Sw course who had been a hospital SW for her placement. there was a woman whose DS had just been DX with DS..she also refused to accept him and told thehosptial to arrange adoption.

then they DX a herat defect and told her he would need an operation....that was enough to show her just how special he was and she returned to being the happy mum she was throughout her pregnancy.

I often wonder if these things are done on purpose...to show us just how much we love our kids.

[PeachyClairHasBadHair]

A neighbour of my Aunt was given the ultimatum by her DH- leave the DS baby in hospital or I leave you. She left the baby. My Aunt (who was childless not through choice) was disgusted and told her so.

I heard that Billy desperately wants the baby but Honey doesn't so will be interesting to see how it is handled.

[time4me]

Im the mum of a gorgeous young man about to celebrate his 18th.Hes given me more joy than anything or anybody.Hes in nappies,needs 24hour care,but is very mobile and destructive and I am trapped in the house with him 24/7. <br /> However,although I wish it hadnt happened,I must reiterate he enjoys his Life and people who know him tell me Where would we be without him,he brings us so much joy
Thanks for letting me know about EastEnders.
I`m totally new to this site,wish I could have discovered it 17 years ago.

[time4me]

Im the mum of a gorgeous young man about to celebrate his 18th.Hes given me more joy than anything or anybody.Hes in nappies,needs 24hour care,but is very mobile and destructive and I am trapped in the house with him a lot of the time. <br /> However,although I wish it hadnt happened,I must reiterate he enjoys his Life and people who know him tell me Where would we be without him,he brings us so much joy
Thanks for letting me know about EastEnders.
I`m totally new to this site,wish I could have discovered it 17 years ago.

[PeachyClairHasBadHair]

Welcome time4me- what an optimistic user name LOL!