Dyspraxia/ASD - no one seems to know

[RainingPouringCatsDogs]

I posted this in Chat but re-posting here to see if any more answers. Hope that's ok! DS, who is just 3, is different from other children but no one can give us any answers. Main issues are:

• Difficulty socialising with other children. Nursery have picked up on this and have an IEP in place and say they are seeing some improvement. But it's still very noticeable on playdates, esp. if there's more than one child there, he won't join in. Also doesn't like children's parties etc. Scared if other children try to hug him. He had a children's party this weekend and I had a bit of a shock seeing just how far ahead of him the other children were socialising with each other.

• Clingy in new situations.

• Very shouty/intense. Shouts all the time - very loud play (eg. lots of banging), shouting songs etc. No idea why he does this. People are starting to notice and comment on this.

• Imaginative play isn't great - a lot of it is borrowed from books/tv shows, although he does adapt (not straight echolalia). Can do a bit of imaginative play.

• Doesn't like dressing up/pretending to be things.

• Very good speech, good intonation etc. but often sounds like an adult.

• Lots of squeezing me and his baby sister quite hard - like he gets carried away when giving a cuddle.

• Very challenging behaviour, pushing boundaries.

• Poor pencil grip and no interest in drawing.

• In other areas he seems average or advanced for his age - eg. toilet trained very easily at 2.7 and he's dry at night, can count to thirty and recognise numbers to 12 or so.

We are part way through a private Multi-disciplinary assessment and I am very disappointed with it so far. Saw a general paed who said he didn't think it was ASD but possibly mild dyspraxia (DS is a bit behind with coordination). He referred us to psychiatrist, hearing test(fine), SALT and physio. Psychiatrist just played with him for a few minutes, asked us a few questions and said he didn't think it was ASD but that my son just had a pattern of taking his own time to develop in certain areas (he his some early milestones on late end of 'normal' range). Psych also said that he couldn't have ASD because DS had shown some improvement with the IEP and an ASD child wouldn't improve - that's bollocks right? We haven't had physio and SALT yet.

Perhaps it is dyspraxia that is causing DS's behaviour - what do you think?

Wondering if I need to try and get appointment with Daphne Keen. I don't want to label my son but I really want to help him and I just seem him falling further and further behind on the socialising with other children thing, and I really struggle with the behaviour as well.

I saw Daphne Keen I would highly recommend her . My dd was diagnosed with hfa/ aspergers. I hope you get the correct dx for your ds as soon as possible it's the first step to accessing the right help for him.

Thanks soontobe, if you dont mind me asking, how did you manage to get an appt? I tried calling a while ago but just got answer phone and no response to my message, hence why we went down this other route.

I rang several times a week on both numbers and also emailed. The secretary eventually rang me back ( this was over a two month period). I have heard she has recently got a new secretary who is much better at returning calls.

Thanks! Will give it a go!

The symptoms you describe could fit with dyspraxia, as I see it in my two sons, anyway (one has dx already, one going through the process now). The doing stuff too hard and being really loud, plus apparently pushing the boundaries, sounds familiar.

The thing is, there's Sensory Processing Disorder, which can be seen in both dc with ASD, or dyspraxia. And lets face it, plenty of children can have both. Can I recommend the book 'The Out of Sync Child'? Lots of mnetters recommended it on here, and I've found it really helpful.

When looking at him, did anyone ask him to get up off the floor, and see if he can get up without using his hands? Not too sure if 3 is too early?

Good luck and don't give up. I do know that if it's dyspraxia, it's really worth getting an early diagnosis, because in the early years, treatment is possible, whereas the older they get, the less you can do to really change things.

My ds has dyspraxia but sounds nothing like your ds at all. To be dyspraxic I think you have to be hyper mobile and have low muscle tone ( or maybe that's not true?). Can he ride a trike, throw and catch. Hold a pen with pincer grip?

You can be both - think of the different diagnoses like olympic rings overlapping in certain areas. DS is an olympic lad with asd/spd/dcd traits.