At breaking point

[adrianna22]

My DS is four, diagnosed with ASD and has a severe language delay.

He has been crying a lot these days. I don't know if he is just being spoilt or if this is due to his ASD.

My Ds has no routine issues and is a very easy child and changes do not bother him. However, anytime we go out, and he sees something that he likes. i.e. if I take him out shopping and he wants to buy this sweet, or ice-cream whatever and I say no. He would start crying...and that way he cries is like it is the end of the earth.

Also with TV programmes, I feel like he dominates the TV now as all we watch now is cartoons, cartoons. We are living with my family at the moment as I'm moving out of my home. He watches any type of kids programmes, so it is not a repetition issue. But it's the fact that I do not want watch kids cartoons for the whole day. We hardly watch TV when we were at home. But because I am living with my family, at the moment and his little cousins are here too... I guess he feel he can do what he wants. Obviously he cries if I change the channel over to an adults programme.

He is also becoming more demanding. Wanting frequent attention.

He also starts crying when I say no to something he can't have. Also, when he comes out of timeout, he would not stop crying unless I have shown him that I have forgave him. As I tend to ignore him. He would literally come up to me, put his hands on my face so that I am looking at him, and cries.

I am getting tired of this new behaviour of him crying, every time I say no. Is this part of ASD or is he just spoilt? To be fair, his Grandma spoils him a lot.

I agree with everything Polter has said.

Also, although you say changes don't bother him, he's having to cope with a massive change living with your family at the moment. Did the crying start when you moved in with your family?

All children, with and without ASD, need attention and will end up getting it. If you give him attention in a positive way then he won't need to force you to give it to him in a negative way.

Hi everyone, thanks for the replies.

Time out works for my DS funny enough. Though I was very strict, to the point we had time out in public. Though the issue is, he slept over at his grandma's house and was spoilt rotten, which we have frequent arguments about, and I have been lenient when he came back from Gmas.

It's so weird, he does the behaviour towards me. But he would NEVER do this around strangers or with his strict family members or family members who he doesn't know well. I.e. when I went out shopping with my DS and his uncle and my DS wanted a sweet and I said no, he was about to cry, but then realised my uncle was there and looked at him to see a if he would react and he actually gets embarrassed when people tell him off.

DS is actually quite smart. He was with his friend and they were playing some kind of game where the person who has the ball, the other person has to get the ball off them. So his friend is a bit quicker than my DS and was always the one with my ball. My DS knew this. So what he did was throw a tantrum, which looked like a real one, and as soon as his friend stopped to look at him. DS quickly got up, laughed and took the ball off from him and they just carried on with the game. That was kind of an eye opener, wondering if DS does the same thing to me

@Borka, the crying started way before we moved in with family. He actually loves living there, we have slept over there many times and no problems. He has been to many sleepovers, with or without me and is fine. So I know that is not the issue.

Thanks for the tips. The word "No' is negative, so would be using positive enforcement.

@Borka- I never thought about that..."If you give him attention in a positive way then he won't need to force you to give it to him in a negative way"- This is a real eye opener. But you are right.

Random tip from me, unplug a cable and pretend TV is broken, my DS accepts that much more readily than me saying no!

we got rid of the TV alltogether. one of the best decisions ever...