Am I deludeding myself to think that DS might, possibly, find Y1 better than Reception?

[Borka]

DS has ASD and has really struggled with Reception. In the half of term before the Easter holidays his anxiety was so bad that he only managed one week of full attendance - the rest of the time he was only in for a few hours each week or doing mornings only. This term he's been in every day so far but has been a wreck at home.

His main difficulties are with sensory sensitivity & unstructured times, and he does seem to like the bits he sees as 'learning', so I'm hoping that next year will be easier for him. Plus his class teacher this year seems particularly duff.

But he's finding it so difficult that I'm torn between wanting to pull him out & home ed right now, and feeling that would be giving up too soon. Could next year be better for him, maybe?

Borka

Has anyone mentioned the word Statement to you?. I doubt it but you will learn fast if you have not already that you are his best - and only
advocate here.

Is your son on School Action Plus?.

What has school said, I would also think they are treading on not solid legal grounds either if they are informally excluding him as well. I would speak to IPSEA to get further clarification on this whole matter.

www.ipsea.org.uk. They also offer a callback service.

If he has struggled with reception he will likely face additional challenges in Year 1 and beyond that too.

I would seriously now apply to the LEA for your son to have a Statement of special needs. Clearly his needs there are not being met and are nowhere near being met currently (seeing too that he is a wreak at home, poor soul. That is also an indication that he is basically internalising all the frustrations of the school day).

Is your son still under the care of a developmental paed or CAMHS?. If so they should be made aware of these problems too, he needs additional support in any case.

Borka my ds hated reception but did a bit better in yr one which is more structured he has high functioning asd

DS is on School Action Plus but he's getting minimal support on it. School haven't been excluding him, just not supporting him - they insist he's fine at school. During his absences they called in the Social & Communication Difficulties Advisor, who also says he doesn't have any problems at school. The headteacher has said he doesn't believe what I've told the school about DS's behaviour at home.

I've thought long & hard about a statement but have decided that as the school won't support it & we can't afford lots of independant reports, I'd rather put my energy into home eding DS than going to tribunal after tribunal.

Thanks autumnsmum, DS has HFA too & that's what I'm hoping could happen for him.

Borland with my ds in reception he was pulling his uniform
Off before school and crying the night before so I do relate . In our case the situation was compounded by me having pnd after his sister was born good luck with whatever you decide

By the way please don't think that by mentioning my depression I'm saying autism is caused by parents ! It just sapped my strength for dealing with school

My DD (5 and currently in Y1) with ASD and severe speech delay as made great progress since leaving preschool and reception.

The greater emphasis on structure and actual learning rather than free play has been brilliant for her.

She is moving up a level with her learning this week and despite officially working on P levels, is according to her the teacher at the level of a regular child just entering Y1.

Not bad for a little girl with her problems plus being the very youngest in the year with a late August birthday.

Meant to say she is moving up a level with her reading this week as her progress has been fantastic.

Glittery that's fantastic well done to your dd

Thank you autumsun.

I realise that things could change as the social side and the work becomes more complex but for now we're just grateful she is happy and progressing.

You have nothing to lose and everything to gain by going for a statement.

I'm going through statutory assessment at the moment and while there has been a lot of work involved (but not expense, in our case) the number of days I have sunk into drafting our reports would be a drop in the ocean compared with the time and effort involved in home schooling.

If you apply and aren't granted an assessment, or if you are granted an assessment, don't get a statement and can't face tribunal after tribunal you don't HAVE to pursue it? You can walk away. You obviously have very valid concerns about your child so regardless of how the school view it the LA still have to look at the viewpoints of all involved.

I am sure there are lots of people on here who would be more than happy to help you navigate the SA process too.

Go for it x

"I've thought long & hard about a statement but have decided that as the school won't support it & we can't afford lots of independant reports, I'd rather put my energy into home eding DS than going to tribunal after tribunal".

An alternative is to now look at other schools in the area and move him into one of those. Even if he did have a statement in place his current school are still unlikely to want to help him.

I would still look into applying for a Statement asap before that particular route is closed off to you.

DS really struggled at nursery and in Reception, due to the free play/choice aspect of the Foundation Stage.
When he went into Year 1 he found the structure much better. We still have meltdowns at home if the timetable isn't stuck to or he has a change of teacher etc but at school he's been happier.

Thanks for all your replies.

Autumnsmum, don't worry, I knew what you meant about depression.

Glittery, that's brilliant that your DD's doing so well.

zzzz I'm definitely keeping HE in mind as an option at some point, your posts about how it's going for you always sway me more to wanting to do it straight away!

Upandatem I don't think DS would get a statement because his needs are not obvious & he's doing reasonably well accademically, the school and LA specialist advisor both say he doesn't need any extra support, the LA will say that his needs can be met from the school's existing budget - which is probably true, if the school was interested in meeting his needs. I think things would need to get a lot worse before he'd have a chance of getting a statement.

Acciosanity that's good to hear. I've told DS that there won't be 'choosing time' next year and he said he'll like it much better.

Attila and Prosecco thanks for the advice about statements but I've definitely decided against it.

I feel a bit reassured that trying to get DS through the rest of this term isn't a ridiculous idea & that hopefully more structure will work for him.

Borka I've always been told ds won't get a statement for very similar reasons

Hi Borka,

re your comment to upandatem,

"I don't think DS would get a statement because his needs are not obvious & he's doing reasonably well accademically, the school and LA specialist advisor both say he doesn't need any extra support, the LA will say that his needs can be met from the school's existing budget - which is probably true, if the school was interested in meeting his needs. I think things would need to get a lot worse before he'd have a chance of getting a statement".

Things are already bad enough for this poor chap and they have and are handling this extremely badly. You are also being failed here by them.

You've been well and truly lied to (the LEA have told you that because it is in their interests not to issue statements) and his current school is completely uninterested in wanting to help your son. At the very least I would look at other schools. Your decision not to apply for a statement may well come back to bite you.

Autumnsmum has been lied to as well if LEA bods have told her similar.

Statements are awarded to 2% of children nationally, so MNSN is a skewed sample - a good proportion of posters have at least one child statemented. That isn't to say that your child should be one of the 98%, but I'm just saying that I do understand the reluctance to 'fight'.

We have one DD with a statement at special school - her needs were very obvious and it was obvious to anyone who met her that she would take up a lot of time and attention in a MS school, even with a 1:1. She's thriving at special school.

We have one DD whose needs have not been addressed thoroughly and was finding school life harder and harder as time went on. We started to engage in the 'fight' - she went to one school for Yr R and the first term of Y1, then moved school and stayed until this term of Year 2.

We decided that, for her, there was too much precious time being wasted in fighting to try and get someone to open their eyes and see our DD2, instead of seeing the child they wanted to see to make their lives easier. We deregistered her two weeks ago.

I think you have so many choices, really. Either try and engage with the school in 'small-step' strategies, hoping they'll realise what's going on, or go for a Statutory Assessment, or 'opt-out' and HE.

The only thing you absolutely can't do is nothing. Your DS is struggling and the more he is allowed to struggle, the worse his association with school will be.

Lougle were the same ds no statement , dd2 borough suggested statementing her at three and Said sp sch or unit

Lougle I've been following your threads about your DD2 and I think that some of my DS's issues are similar. His school are definitely 'seeing the child they want to see to make their lives easier'.

I'm absolutely not doing nothing, and I have succeeded in getting the school to make some adjustments, but everything's such a fight - six months to get the class teacher to actually start using the home-school book that was agreed in September, for example.

I do think that Y1, without all the free choice stuff that DS hates, could be much better for him. But if not, I will happily HE him - it doesn't seem like a last resort, more of a Plan B.

Yes I agree. For DD2 the free choice was ideal. She created her own structure and, I think, the teachers really didn't notice that she restricted her choices to her 'comfort zone'. When year 1 hit, she had to do whatever the class plan was.

I can see that for some children who thrive on structure year 1 would be better than year R. Having said that, DD2's year 2 teacher was still saying 'Oh it will be easier next year because it's more structured....'

Re reception vs y1. My ds (now 7, in Y2, and with dxes of SPD, anxiety and asd(PDA)) was relatively ok in YR but fell apart completely in Y1, at exactly the same time as the transition was being made from lots of free play etc to more structure.

For him, I think this was the time the increased demands of school/life really started to exceed his capacity to cope.

The increased structure for him meant increased "demands"/loss of control for him (someone else dictating the timetable). For him structure/routine is a double-edged sword: he needs to know what is happening because knowledge gives him a sense of control and security; but at the same time, the fact that someone else is setting the agenda = demands and loss of control.

Another thing which I think Y1 brought was more frequent transitions, in that they started introducing set lesson times and different subjects etc - less free-flowing.

Also his sensory difficulties mean he struggles to sit still, so longer periods of being expected to do that were not good.

Also generally I think he started to feel more pressured and out of his depth both academically and socially - all leading to increased anxiety.

However I've seen lots of people (including in this thread) say that the increased structure from y1 up suited their child with ASD better, so it obviously depends on the individual's exact needs and personality.

Yes Jackster, I've also wondered how my DS will cope with having to sit still for longer - at home he's in perpetual motion. But surprisingly he does like school assemblies, which I'd thought would be a problem, and his favourite bits of the day are the timetabled lessons like ICT & music. So I'm feeling that it could go either way, and it's interesting to see how it's worked (or not) for others.