a little update re the tribunal tomorrow

[bjkmummy]

after all the faffing around re the class teacher/senco and her not wanting to attend and 3 weeks of faffing - she has announced to her class today that she wont be in school ALL day tomorrow - wonder where she is going???? given its only listed for half a day and the song and dance about needing to be in school , quite why now she is going to be out for a full day is somewhat puzzling so I do now have to by the looks of it face the senco as well at the hearing. this is not good for my nerves at all!!!!!

added to that that my daughter has come home and burst out crying cos the girls in the class are being really horrible to her so im sat here thinking why have I put her into this school???? what was I thinking and what an absolute mess im making of her education just trying to get her help and feel like im making it so much worse.........

I think the teacher's reaction is classic tbh. She's trying to justify her illegal actions by stating LA policy, because they are trained indirectly to rate it higher than the law.

She feels victimised and abused that you used the law against her actions when few other parents do and certainly not the people who employ her. In fact her employers would be openly horrified if she adhered to the law instead of policy and it would reflect in her prospects.

So what though? Should your child be used as collateral in her career aspirations?

I think to be fair to the teachers, they're taught by their LA. They only get that reinforced if they speak to staff in other schools in their LA. They have to act within the policies of their school and their LA.

A more extreme case, but I often ponder the fact that we are told the story of WW2 from our perspective, but at the time I am sure that those German soldiers left their families and went to war with sincere hearts, just as our soldiers did. With no choice in fact, but sincere none the less. With hindsight they've learned that their leaders were wrong. At the time? Anything less than they did would have been a betrayal of their country and those who betrayed were shot.

It feels personal but it really isn't. The teacher was shocked because she's been told over and over again that she must follow policy. The tribunal told her that policy was nothing. I'd be confused too, in her shoes. Now she has to continue to follow policy or face the sack, knowing that it is contrary to the law. Worse, she is powerless to change it.

It's hard for me to feel sympathy for her - I asked her in dx to refer daughter to OT she said she would, she sat in meetings with me and the LA where I openly said how I was waiting for the NHs OT referral to come through and she said nothing.

She never did do the referral , I chased it found it hadn't been done and got it sorted. Then another appointment came and at that appointment OT said referral came from senco so I thought oh she must have finally done it but no, today the NHs OT report came with the referral form attached, its the referral form i did with school nurse so she never did it at all. That's just shows how much she keeps letting my daughter down.

Have to say the NHs of report was shocking, no detail, very thin, doesn't really say an awful lot compared to the indie OT report which has centiles/levels in it. It recommends she has alternative ways of recording work but doesn't say how, agrees she has hypermobilty and that's about it!

I hope the decision comes through soon bjk. I remember being so stressed out in between tribunal and the decision - the waiting is so mentally painful

Yes this changes you. That's the gift of having a sn child. You get flamed and thrown in water until it hardens you like steel. Her feelings are irrelevant really. If other kids are struggling more and their parents are fighting less its irrelevant. All that matters for you right now is doing what's best at this time for your child because no one else will do that

I don't think you should feel sorry for her in the slightest, but I do think that if you can see it through a slightly less toxic lens it will be easier for you to let it go, because all the time you're thinking of her it will eat you up. Instead, you can see her as the face of a very broken system. A system which you only need as much as it benefits your DD.

Hope you hear good news soon bjk.

Yes, the process changes you. The stress that the whole process causes and like Starlight said, all for an adequate education.

Good luck.

Hope you hear soon

Sorry I have not been around to support you as much as I wanted (selfish I know) but with DS2's SA and my mum still in hospital either delerious or with rapid onset acute dementia I feel a little overburdened atm.

But I agree that in some ways having an SN child and fighting the system is a gift. The similarities with trying to obtain NHS continuing care and trying to obtain care/support for your DC are alarming. NHS staff pretend it does not exist and then that the pt would not be eligible (either too low or too high needs) and then that it is as rare as hens's teeth. Now where did I hear that before?

What can I say but keep on keeping on