nerves kicking in now for tribunal tomorrow - i feel sick

[bjkmummy]

really worried now if I can do this - I know I have to but suddenly the doubt has crept in and find myself sat here knowing I should be doing something but so stressed I cant focus.

went to the city where the tribunal is being held yesterday to find the venue = was a nightmare to find it so thank god we did go and check it out. if the police officer we found didn't know where it was!

had the tribunal serve more paperwork on me this morning - just copies of the order that was issued on Friday and the correspondence about it - the LA will now see that the tribunal have lifted parts of my email in the decision.

no idea what the LA are up to - will the teacher be there or not? will someone else appear? will the sen officer really just go by herself or will she bring someone for support with her? who knows and got all of that whizzing through my head.

my biggest area of self doubt is my evidence - all of the indie reports show she is on the 2nd centile re the core subjects - all put her between 3 - 4 years behind.

the school and the blooming NC levels as you know all over the place - without support shes a 2B but with the support she is a 3B so a huge jump but none of my reports reflect this huge leap and the school admit in writing that she had help from the TA etc - know I must veer away from the the NC levels as evidence as they are not reliable.

the LA case is that the school didn't put her on the SEN register until nov 2013 and that her needs can be met at school action plus - no reports from an EP or any formal assessment by the LA been done. and that's the LA case except that its us as parents who are the only ones to ever raise concerns.

know I need to bullet point my mains points but my brain has absolutely died on me - I am like a deer in the head lights this morning

good luck bjk! you can do this! we have to do this for our dcs ..... my tribunal is less than a month away and I couldnt have got this far without mn! we will all be rooting for you and thinking of you x

trying to print a photo out for tomorrow but the printer turning the picture too dark - think I will head to town and go and sit in a coffee shop and have yet more coffee and cake I think!! good thing about checking the venue out is I know where the coffee shops are - one next to the venue but will avoid that one!!! think I will head to another one instead.

Breathe. You will cope with whatever happens tomorrow. Hope for the best and prepare for the worse.

Step away from the NC levels. It is to your advantage that levels are all over the place as this perfectly illustrates how unreliable and inappropriate it would be to use them to measure progress. Also the higher score with 1:1 perfectly illustrates what dd can achieve with adequate support.

Timely fashion. The school have had the best part of an academic year and have not requested assessments SA the most timely means of ensuring needs are assessed. Otherwise more delay. Fast approaching secondary transition etc.

Your evidence sounds pretty solid, to be honest. Any judge worth their status would see the NC levels for what they are and would see the jump with help and support as a something that the LA shouldn't ignore.

If you'd asked for the case to be heard on written evidence, I doubt the LA would stand a chance.

Put the files down, have tea and a biscuit. Or a sandwich, if you've not eaten properly today, then think of your headings, with the files closed, so your brain isn't being inundated with information - potted history, summary of indie report findings, a brief aside about why you commissioned each report, what your concerns are for your DD (you can include a dig about how long she's been left to flounder without school recognising her difficulties, here) and what you want to see happening.

I do have it in writing on the school file that they advised us to get her seen by dyslexia action although they didn't put it in writing that they wouldn't call the EP in. re the thing about the sen register - in the paperwork the LA sent me the teacher wrote that she was on the register as a concern and then moved fully on the register on Nov 2013 so that blows the LA case that there was no concern pre nov 2013 - needless to say the LA didn't submit that in their evidence. its just the teacher as well - if she goes - she says one thing to the LA and then another to me - she is not consistent at all. I actually need to hope she doesn't go!

Oh, I don't know. An inconsistent witness may be a gift. Maybe telling different things to different parties is why she is keen to avoid being in the same room as both parties and a judge. The teacher may have given a falsely optimistic picture to the LA (or at least they may want to claim so in front of the judge) but this means that the LA was wrong to refuse to assess in the first place not that assessment may not be needed.

I've been thinking about you all over this weekend.

It stinks that you are having to do this.

Remember to take something to remind you about DD. I wore a bracelet DS bought me from a yard sale for 10p. When the going got tough, having it on me so I could twiddle it, made me focus on why I was there. That a small vulnerable child with a disability was at the heart of the Tribunal and DC's mum is the only one who would make sure that proper support and help was given.

The day before Tribunal is a bit like an important exam when you KNOW you've done everything and there is nothing left to do. So put everything away and go and sit in the sun with coffee and cake.

You are totally and utterly prepared. On the other hand, the LA is not.

The biggest mistake I made with my first tribunal is expecting it to be the answer to all my misery and fights.

I'm not sure whether I won or lost tbh (officially I lost because LA through every provision they coukd think of at ds to avoid ABA) it just brought me a step closer. Then next tribunal brought me a step closer too.

It's a step in a journey. A lose will still have 'won' you better provision. A win will win you even better. Either way this is not your last fight.

I remember last time star when I was really worried about it and you gave me similar wise words and they have stuck with me ever since and this is what I have been saying to dh. If there's any justice we should win but we all know that sometimes the strangest of decisions are made.

Someone I know went to tribunal 2 weeks ago and sadly didn't win - they did it themselves and as it was their first time i don't think they understood all the ins and outs and their case sounded quite weak but some good as come out of it. When she told me she had lost, I remembered your wise words and said the same to her. I'm sure her daughter will be statemented at some point in the future and she will have learnt so much now by doing it once before.

I need to give myself a good talking to - I know what I'm doing etc - I'm just having a last minute worry and then tomorrow I will be ready to go. I know that there is nothing else/more i could have done so what will be will be now and I can't change anything. If the tribunal panel go against her then i know I tried my best - its that deep rooted anxiety that in reality this tribunal is nothing more than the LA trying to remind me that they hold the cards in my children's education and I need to learn my place.

tbh - I think that all/most LA's fight the hardest when it comes to 'just' SplD (ie in the absence of an officially diagnosed life long condition to complicate matters). Or 'high incidence needs' as they see things. Actually going to hearing for refusal to assess (as opposed to refusing and then conceding before hearing) seems to be common as does issuing NILS and then actually going to hearing to defend them

The most important thing (as Star said) is to manage expectations by knowing that this will be the first battle of the war and not the 'decider' and so even 'losing' allows you to fight better further down the line and most importantly will put DD on the radar and can only get her better support.

Don't forget that if they try and spring something or someone on you tomorrow - a written report you have not seen etc - you can point out that you are representing yourself and this is 'only' for refusal (and could/should have been decided on papers) and that it places you at a substantial disadvantage as you don't have the resources to enable you to respond to new evidence on the spot. If you are over-ruled ask for an hour's adjournment and email here to digest the report.

Good luck bjk whatever happens you are doing your best and no one could be expected to do more.

Will be thinking about you tomorrow and fingers crossed for an empathetic, knowledgable panel

Good luck tomorrow bjk. Don't let the doubt creep in, you know you're well prepared. Keeping fingers and everything else crossed for you.

It's what it is. Thursday will still come!

Best of luck. It's horrible for sure but you're doing this because you have no choice. It's a crap process but the only process. And you have us who will help with the next steps whatever they are.

Keep I think there is some truth in that
Our SEN officer tried to persuade us mainstream could deal with DS autism by saying 'its like dyslexia was 10 years ago, but all schools can deal with dyslexia now' (while ignoring all the severe cases and other kids getting awful results).
Its something that is perceived as being within schools ability to deal with and so if they can't do that what kind of SEN can they do.
They can't ignore her needs forever, sooner or later somewhere is going to have to pick up the pieces and it will be more costly the longer it is left. Tribunals can be sensible to the idea this is just LA delaying the inevitable because she is not going to suddenly make up that ground and time is running out.

agnes - think im going to borrow you wise words for my closing statement tomorrow......