Neurotypical

[mummytime]

Okay I am beginning to feel I am totally losing it. I know a lot of children with an ASD diagnosis, or who show traits. Quite a lot with other issues such as :dyslexia, dyspraxia etc.
But I'm beginning to wonder what are the characteristics of someone who is neurotypical?
The only one I can come up with is: tends to pick up social mores without having to be explicitly told - so realises at a young age, that you can't talk to someone whilst they are talking on the phone. Or there are certain words you don't use to your Maiden Aunt.

Does anyone else have anything to contribute?

I agree with Polter NT to me is a catch all description for someone who doesn't have a specific disability.

It would be impossible to list NT characteristics as they can cross over with AS traits for example but in isolation do not mean the person has autism.

I hope that makes sense?

But do you ever find yourself wondering "Is anyone Normal?"

We had this discussion at work the other day as we are abit swamped with children with additional needs at the moment.

Actually when we thought about it there are lots of children without additional needs who have normal strops, can follow routines set by others, can play alongside other children, are beginning to make friends and sometimes share toys with their friends/peers. Andloads more things I cant think of at tbis moment.

I work with 2-4 year olds btw but the same could be said for many teenagers

Maybe its because my DD could and has "passed for normal" a lot.

Or maybe I need to go and spend more time with "normal" children.

I ask myself all the time 'what is normal?' - it's my mum's favourite catch-phrase: "Did you see the colour of her jumper?? Thats' not normal, that is." Yes, my mother judges. A lot

The problem is of course that all human behaviour works on a 'sliding scale' and a vast variation of behaviours will be accepted as 'normal' i.e. a majority of people behave like that. Many, many children can lean more towards ASD traits in one or two respects, but overall be non-conspicuous in their behaviours.
My DS1(11) is NT, but has a problem with certain textures, mainly wrt food. As a toddler he would not touch/eat anything 'wet' which was a challenge at the times. He is of course a bit more tolerant now, but he'll never become a mud wrestler I am quite sure. So, is he 'normal'? All I now is that he's fine.

I think 'not normal' only contributes to a diagnosis when it causes a functional problem.

Many, many 'normal' children display all sorts of strange behaviours which will be accepted as NT if they are mild/short-lived/age-typical/manageable with 'normal' parenting (wrf is that? ) etc.

mummytime, is it not a recognised problem that girls on the spectrum are more in 'danger' of passing as NT because the compensate more effectively than many boys?

Some girls my dd was diagnosed with autism at two .

I was recently reading a checklist of things and one of them was, to paraphrase, recognising that you can't talk to everyone equally. I have problems with that because I see everyone as equal and thus you would, and I have, speak to, for examples, a bishop, the VP of the company you work for, the same as you would a friend. Now I understand I may have some ASD traits in other areas, but is this really the case?! Do people actually believe they should speak to people differently?

I was speaking to a friend recently about ASD and I said until recently I had never had 2 people in the same place at the same time and I tie myself in knots about how much time I should spend with them, should it be separate or together, do you tell 2 people your news or just one etc. And she was bemused and said she just got in contact with/spent time with whoever she felt like at the time!

Also, apparently NT people don't spend lots of time discussing what "normal" things they should do or have constant checklists in their head to tick off in a conversation, like, have I asked about X yet? Have I spoken too long? Or feel stuck for what to say when you see your friend in an unexpected place and time!

Again that's all social. But there are things like doing the same thing over and over/rules. Like the difference between I like to sit here for my tea v. I must sit here for my tea otherwise I can't eat at all because this is where tea is eaten. That's just an example from ds2. Now I have met some children who grow out of things like that, which I guess is why they check development. Personally, I find repetition calming and doing the same things the same way reassuring, like sitting in the same seat in a cafe and if that seat isn't available then a feeling of constant discomfort, or having to leave.

But I do think there's less "normal" than we are led to believe, but then that scale of does this interfere with your life or not.