social story - first one - does it work?

[Levantine]

Based on some very useful notes that lovely streaky sent

Not sure what to put for the second line as actually I don't think DS will engage with that sentence as it stands, he will get cross at having to talk about it.

Does it actually work though? Any advice from someone who has done lots of them?

Mum or dad pick me up from school or after school club

If I run away _

I will try to walk out of school calmly with mum or dad.

Mum or dad will be able to take me home safely. This is very important.

When I get home I can read a book or have half an hour on the iPad.

I did a few, and DS’s school have done a few for him. They’re quite tricky to write. I would not mention running off at all. Instead put in more sensory/descriptive and perspective sentences, and be more detailed. Describe what happens, what he does, what he sees, what he hears, how he feels (tired? excited?) And if there is something that triggers the running off then describe that situation – is it the other kids running around? Or the noise of traffic? Or because you are spending time talking to the teacher?

"After school, it is time to go home. My Mum comes to bring me home. She says hello to me. Then I get my bag and I put my coat on.

Sometimes the other kids are running around and being noisy because they want to go home. This is OK. I can

When my Mum is ready we walk out of the school together.

Etc."

It works best if you can avoid putting too many different things in one story. You may need to have another social story about walking with Mum - walking on the pavement, stopping at the kerb and staying near Mum - and another different social story about what happens after he gets home.

I found that I didn't write many social stories down, but quite often I did plan what I was going to say to my DS as if it was a social story. That style of getting things across worked for him.

PS My DH, a support worker and I once spent half an hour trying to find the right word to describe how DS felt when we were writing a social story about different adults giving him different instructions. We got to "confused" in the end

They're really tricky aren't they. School have done one about him not hurting people but tbh that was ages ago.

Okay, so the issue is that he runs off and hides around school when I pick him up. No idea why, and he's been doing it for months. I think it's a weird stress about transition thing. If only he would get his blinking bag and coat that is part of the problem. Us having to search everywhere for them.

Yes, stress about transition sounds about right. Is there a way round the coat and bag problem? Does he have his own peg? My DS always had his own peg with his name on it at the end of the row (at least in school) and staff made sure he put his things in the right place.

The children all come out into the playground from upstairs and for some reason ds quite often just doesn't have his stuff. I suppose I need to talk to the TA again.

If you don't mind, if it is stress about transition, how would you phrase the second bit of the story the bit where I would say "ds runs around because he is anxious" or "ds runs and hides because he has been keeping it together all day".

I wonder what would make sense to him

I missed the bit about you saying stuff rather than write it down. I just went through this weekend when we have a big family event, showing him pictures on the computer, which I think came from me thinking about social stories

How about "I want to run and hide" or "I like to run around" or (if you can discuss it with him and he agrees) "I feel fizzy inside"?

How often does he run off? The social story is good if he doesn't run often, but if he mostly runs off, then it's probably too much to expect him to stay calmly with you and it may be better to give him a safer way to run off his energy/anxiety and write that into the story. Could he zoom round and round the playground while you get his bag, or have a specific hiding place so you know where to find him? Or even, three hiding places, you look in each one in turn and then game over and home-time?

Oh kleinzeit

That is SO helpful. He does always hide in the same place. The problem is that it is somewhere he shouldn't really go but I think I can see a way to start thinking about it now.

I find it so difficult to work everything out on my own and that has really made the penny drop a bit for me

It might be useful to have a social story to guide the appropriate behaviour you want to encourage, and have a separate choice card that could include what might happen if he did run off. I've just scanned this thread so far as in a bit of a rush, but I'll have a proper look later and make some suggestions. I agree, it's very tricky to get it spot-on. Don't forget to run through a draft with ds to make sure it ticks his boxes, before you use it as a tool.

One other thing - have you done some positive stories beforehand, to get him used to the concept of social stories? It is definitely worth it.

Yes, agree with that polter and zzzz

Choice cards a good idea, thanks for reminding me of that streaky. I haven't done positive stories. I remember you saying don't rush with all this, and here I am, not rushing.

My main anxiety about this is that ds is very sensitive to being patronised.

As an aside, his demand avoidance is pretty high. He dropped a jelly mould on the floor, eventually picked it up and then SWORE to me that it was still on the floor but was now invisible and I was standing on it, because to have done something I asked him to do was just too unbearable. It kind of made me laugh, just sharing it here because I know you would all get it.

can I just recommend Carol Grey's book, (I was really shocked when I got it, as I had spent years working with people who said they were using social stories with X Y and Z and it turned out they weren't actually social stories at all... )

it was only when I read the book that I realised how stories worked and why they worked.. the book was only (yes I know, 'only') about 20 and came with a CD Rom of stories to adapt, but the best bit were the lessons in how to write a social story...

If I get a minute would it be useful if I paraphrased her instructions in how to write a story, what to leave in (and out)?

Any input very welcome sign

Sorry it's taken me so long to get back to this. Mad couple of days here.

You mentioned that you're concerned that ds might feel patronised. I think this would justify some achievement stories before you start on behavioural modification ones. Most children like being praised and their successes acknowledged (hope yours does too!) and this would be a good way of getting him used to the concept of social stories without him feeling undermined or threatened in any way.

Pick anything that he has done well. I used to write them for ds's karate gradings, swim levels etc but also for routine things like putting his laundry in the basket, clearing his plate etc - if we needed a positive, I could always find something to write about. It sounds a bit faffy but it can be very effective if done right.

Overall, social stories are meant to be positive and encouraging, so no use of negatives to point out what he's getting wrong. Its' all about phrasing the text to direct him towards the 'right' thing to do, so I'd be working on the benefits of not running away, rather than commenting on what a pain it is when he does. Perhaps something like:

"After school we need to get home quickly so that .

I like to do when I get home.

When it is time to leave school, I will try to get my things together and coat on and be ready for Mum picking me up. Then we can go home quickly and I will be able to ."

Obviously develop that to relate to your individual circumstances.

A choice card can narrow this down into good and bad consequences, BUT I would use them separately and try the social story for a few days first. You might not need the choice card at all if the social story has the effect you want. Remember the social story should always direct towards the positive and the choice card can introduce less favourable outcomes if the message doesn't get across.

I'll also add (for the benefit of other people) that I'm not advising choice cards for every situation, or even for every child. I devised them simply because there were so many situations for MY son that social stories didn't work for - ds needed to know what the negative consequences would be (it's just how he was) so we had to have a tool that would cover that.

And seriously - take your time . It's far better to spend a few weeks thinking it through properly and have more chance of success than go bowling in with something that's not properly prepared and risk failure.

HTH