Ds has just started medication for ADHD.
I know it is good for him, I know it wil help him reach his potential, be able to focus, better impulse control, all of that. Which is great.
But it is tinged with sadness that it has come to this. That he needs medication to achieve that, is it the right thing, was it my fault, what could I have done differently, why am I drugging my child. Will he always need it, will he be an ADHD statistic or have I done enough to get him through?
Also, whilst I always knew he had it, it confirms that he does as the medication is working. If he didn't have it he would be bouncing off the walls with what is essentially speed in his system. So there is vindication and smugness that I was right, that actually I am not a crap parent that the doubters believed I am but sadness that I was right.
Such mixed emotions and it is all hitting me today and I feel a little bit teary.
I love my boy and I will be proud of him no matter what and help him no matter what but...yeah. Just a little sad I guess.
I don't know why I am posting this. Just want to get it out of my head I think to people who might understand.