Process has started...

[BeyondTheVirtualActivist]

HV came today for DS2s 2 year check. I gave all of my concerns re both of them and she agreed that she can see my concerns but imagines in ds2 it is all frustration due to his lack of speech and then normal toddler/brotherly behaviour for the rest. She has agreed to come back in a couple of months and see how we're getting on though, which is something.

I'm gonna take a wild stab in the dark that this minimising isnt uncommon for everyone here?

And I've had a thought. Do you think it will be easier to put across my worries if i get my concerns about my own aspergers confirmed, so i can say "i know this shows xyz because i do it?"

Just adding something else to my list.

DH spoke to his dad today, who said smil (on hearing that i was wondering about asd) said she had noticed some identical mannerisms in ds2 to her asd nephew. Will find out exactly what she means when i speak to her.

Def side track the HV, also wasted our time for a year before we got referral to SLT (via speech and language drop in at children's centre) And from them onto community paed and from her to consultwtnt paed and multi disciplinary team who diagnosed ASD and verbal dyspraxia.

Would also advise referral to developmental paed from GP as others have said.

Has he got IEP at nursery or have you met SENCO there to discuss what extra support he might need?

No plan at nursery at the mo, a lot of people don't seem to have noticed the things I'm concerned about in ds1. I hadnt noticed anything until i was reading up because of ds2, his behaviour is much more obvious. And a lot of things ds1 does, i also do.

PolterGoose, Do you have those links. ..They sound interesting ?

Thanks...maybe a good read though will quieten the constant stream of 'what if I am wrong? ' thoughts, which are running though my head.

Don't know whether this is relevant or just an example of bad parenting :(
Or just a normal toddlery thing?

Ds1 makes up the most ridiculous excuses when i ask him to do something, tell me he doesnt know how to open his curtains or dress himself, or that he cant tidy up because hes tired or (one that made me laugh) his lungs hurt.

He has also started wetting himself. But he seems to be choosing to do it, and its only in the afternoon at home, after nursery? The first time he did it, i told him not to worry, and that he must be not very well (he was dry from his second birthday, never had an accident in the day). But now every time he does it, he says "im not very well"

One more for ds1 (i'm just making a list here, don't feel that you have to answer :) )
Melodrama of teenage proportions. For example. "If you don't let me on your ipad, i will stop eating"

Don't take yourself down the 'bad parenting' track she says, being a complete hypocrite :o.

thanks wave. He's been impossible all morning. My mum has taken him to nursery now, he was in bed when she got here, having stolen his little brothers lunch again. I gave up and sent him upstairs, I dont know what to do with him. :(

Sound very clever AS or not!
What about printing off MCHAT for nursery and say you have concerns and are observing / scoring and would they mind doing the same as may present differently at nursery. That way they have a reference sheet to work from and may be less likely to dismiss behaviours.
Getting nursery on side was crucial to us being believed before that GP was dismissing me as precious mum who thought DS was not making as much progress as I though was appropriate when in fact I was concerned about massive autistic regression. When nursery sat down with info we gave them and thought about it they agreed his personality and behaviour had changed; the words 'he used to be lovely' will stay with me forever. What they meant was he used to play with them and other children and be very sweet and cuddly and then stopped, however it came out a bit wrong!

New thing to add. Ds2 doesnt call me mummy, until this week he hasnt called me anything. Now I am "lady" :)

Ds1 starts "big" nursery in september, which is attached to the school he'll be going to, and has an excellent special needs record. So I am going to speak to them rather than the nursery he is in now.

Don't think I've already written here, ds1 is constantly hungry and steals food from the kitchen (he knows that if he asks i will say yes, but still takes it). He will literally finish a meal and then tell me hes starving.

He also takes his brothers food from his plate.

Bumping this so i know where it is, have my own psych assessment today

I'll be interested to hear about your assessment

Being nosey, was it through GP or private? I've asked for adult dd to be assessed, but the GP can't find anywhere to have it done within 100 miles of home

Its nhs :) went through my Occupational therapist rather than my gp, but same sort of referral. Had to see a community mh nurse first, then they passed me on to the clinical psych, who has done an initial assessment (the one yesterday) and is now going to be doing the proper clinical assessment. She thinks i show enough traits for it to be worthwhile, yay!