How many sides should I work on ?

[Babieseverywhere]

I am waiting for a referral to the local community paed for my nearly 6 yo DS, should be June ish.

I am also going back to Senco at school and take her up on the suggestion of social classes.

However I am wondering if I should ask Senco to do more, as my DS is really struggling and I am some mornings having to deal with a kicking screaming child who does not want to go to school. At school they claim there are no issues. But piecing together what other children, siblings and parenting say, I know he is displaying some low level behavioural issues. I feel the school are writting thsi behaviour off as him being naughty, but I feel he needs more understanding.

I was hoping to ask the Senco to put the following in place...am I being reasonable to ask these things ?

1. Allow DS to have quiet fidget toys in the classroom
2. Not punish him with timeouts for behaviour which the teacher has already agreed are outside his control. I.e. figeting and shouting out answers in the classroom.
3. Let DS come inside during lunchtime and breaks if it is too much for him.
4. Stay out or sit in the back of assembles..he really struggles as they are often in the afternoon when he is tired and stressed and I know of a couple of meltdowns in this situation.
5. Check that he washes his hands when he uses the bathroom or ensure he uses hand gel in the class room (which I would provide) he finds the bathroom a very scary place and at home he will only go withe bathroom with a sibling or parent. On a school day his hands stink by the time I pick him up and I worry about what the other kids think, plus suspect this lack of hygeine is why we as a family get a lot of d&v bugs :(

Bear in mind the school think I am overworrying and I should seek help if I am struggling with my DS (I am not, I cope fine whilst worrying a lot)

Also the Senco said it is clear from my concerns that my son is on the spectrum but he is too mild for a d/x and he clearly did not need help at school and she observed him for 20 minutes in the classroom and he looked fine.

I am not telling the school we are going down the medical route too, I just want to help my DS cope better with school.

So would it be reasonable to ask for the five things I typed in my OP ?

In writing to the Senco or DS teacher or someone else ?

Would an email be ok, or does it have to be paper letter .
?

I was originally thinking of waiting till June but it is so far off for my son to wait.

What is a CT ?

Lol, I know nothing :)

I was hopeing to have a chat to the Senco first and see how she feels about my suggestions and then follow up with an email with what (if anything) was agreed iyswim.

Have to ask their email address too....onky gave the lovely deputy heads obe,

FGS, the SENCO thinks she has seen everything she needs to know after one 20 minute observation?

Can you find her some literature about ASD to try to get it home to her that she's got a lot to learn? Particularly about the difficulty children with ASD have with transitions, that that it is incredibly common for them to be able to hold things together, just, at school but it all then has to come out once they get home?

The Senco lady is nice and tbh I am so worried that I'm wrong about my concerns. I just want to make things bearable for DS until June and see what the paed says.

It is hard when everyone at school thinks you are wrong and over worrying.

I am terrified off the upcoming school trip, DS would go off with anyone, might bolt or hide if triggered. I know one of the adults on the trip, who I hope will keep him safe. If I can see the Senco before the trip, I will mention this too.

I agree a 20 mins observation without even talking tothechild in question has limited value...trying talking to him avoiding the subject Minecraft and then say what you feel.

The senco is not a medic. It really irritates me when non-medics make assumptions they are not qualified to. He may not be ASD, he may have one of a myriad of other conditions, many of which she's unlikely to have heard of, but until he's had a proper medical assessment noone can say for sure.

Email your requests, which all seem rather reasonable so that you have a record for the future. Also keep a diary yourself as this is incredibly useful for the pead.

Thank you, yes I am keeping a diary just highlights of the day to day difficulties we have with DS.

I am just so worried, I am dreading tomorrow...back to school after two weeks at home. :(

I am glad that my requests are reasonable...I hope the senco and teacher choose to implement them.