Not sure how to help ds

[claw2]

Yesterday first day back, he came home crying, very distressed (a regular occurrence) . He didn't sleep until 5am this morning even with sleeping meds etc, due to worrying about school. I am now putting an email together for school, as he didn't go in today.

He gets 1:1 help in class, is a bright kid and articulate. From what ds is complaining about and describing to me, he appears to be struggling with his understanding of what he is supposed to be doing in class, particularly with lessons, such as science, RE, languages, PE, playtimes...the more abstract and social ones.

He says that his 1:1 does help and try to explain to him when he struggles, but all this does is confuses him even more 'as explaining is long and confusing'.

As I said ds is very capable and school seem to think that it is more to do with his self esteem and his 'perceptions'. From what ds tells me, it seems to be more to do with his understanding. He often feels bullied by others, due to his lack of understanding too.

How do I approach school about this and what help do I ask for?

Tbh you have tried a better than available in the m/s alternative (small classes with 1:1) and given it enough time to work but I think you could get what DS needs in an Indi ss without having to fight all the time. Forget where you used to be and be 'ambitious' about what is, and always has been, needed.

One of the things that ds1 (also articulate and bright) special school has recognised he needs to reduce his anxiety is constant reassurance from an adult that he is doing the right thing at the right time. They are also aware that despite his "brightness" they should not assume that he has understood instructions.

Keep, yes im exhausted to be honest. It is just so frustrating, he could cope at this school, we have 'experts' coming out of our ears, SALT, OT, counsellor, CAMHS etc, etc. Not one of them has made a recommendation.

To me, its so obvious by what ds says, for example he doesn't understand what he is supposed to do in science, the 1:1 explains, ds says 'explains are long and confusing and make it worse'

I have told them he needs instructions breaking down into smaller chunks, he needs extremely direct simple language. They seem to want to persist in 'challenging' his thinking instead ie 'you CAN do it'.....YES he can if you stop insisting that he can and just break the instructions down!

They are trying, but just don't seem to be 'getting it'. His 'safe' place is another example, they put it somewhere where ds told them he didn't want and gave several reasons why it wasn't a 'safe' place for him. He doesn't use his 'safe' place, because he doesn't feel bloody safe there.