Ds barely going to school

[Skylar123]

Ds started back to school after Easter on Tuesday he had huge anxiety about it and scared witless after hours of trying from me I had no choice but to give up on trying. So he hasn't been in since term started again until today where I have tried hard as usual and somehow managed to get him out the front door into car and into school albeit late and with a reasonable amount of force.
I am really concerned that he is missing his education and I am equally concerned that the school have not bothered to even call particularly the senco who is aware of the difficulties DS has facing school. I would have expected a call in the week to see how Ds was doing to enquire why they hadn't seen him all week. I feel like they don't care and he is just being left. Is there anybody that can help, do we just resign ourselves to the fact that Ds will miss half of his education and that's that. I'm really upset. We are awaiting SA outcome so I am not looking at moving him to a new school just yet. I question, is it the school not supporting him that makes him feel so bad about coming in or is it just school and will happen whenever he is. Would he be more suited at a more sensitive sch that is more specialist to his needs and difficulties (hfa)

Bottoms I put Ds name in post!

In my experience even a really good school will struggle to understand the difficulties our children face getting through the door every day.

My Dd3 has attempted school refusal most days since she started she is in her second school in yr 6 now and I made a decision earier this school yr that I wasnt going to drag her inany more. I was very worried about her mental health.

The attitude of the staff towards me has changed significantly since I "allowed" her to school refuse and the HT even saidthat he thought Dd3 was trying to control me!! I did laugh at that point and say "welcome to my world, welcome to autism!!" I had a friend with me at the meeting who also has a child with Asd and she backed me up.

If you want your Ds to continue at this school I would recommend that you arrange a meeting and try to come up with a plan to get him into school. If not I would start looking at alternatives.

Good luck whatever you decide

What I did when DS was missing a lot of school last term was send the senco a (reallly long) email at the end of each week detailing what had happened each day and what I had done to try to get DS in to school. I didn't ask them to do anything, just stated the facts, and it was partly to cover myself as the school have previously said they don't believe DS has any problem with school.

It didn't actually achieve much - senco arranged for DS to be observed by the ASD advisor but still waiting for her report. During the whole of last half of term, there was only one week DS managed to attend the whole of, but the school still seem to think he's fine.

Thanks all it's really hard isn't it.
Well the La ed pysch called yesterday to discuss what she was putting in her report. We were on phone for over an hour. We are going through SA at moment. She said she was doing a plan and wanted to write things that she thought and I agreed would help get Ds back into school. She said she was going to give it to the school to action.

Sounds to me as a NIL is on it's way :-(

As Ds seems happy once he is at school it's hard to get them to understand how challenging the sch day actually is for him. His behaviour at home is getting worse and worse and his demands are constant!

Oh and his swearing is beyond embarrassing he talks to me so disgusting in public and at home. He is actually a nice boy but when he gets frustrated he turns into a monster. He screams out 'you ffffing b*' full pelt for all to hear , you should see the looks we get :-(

If you possibly can, you need to get a medical letter confirming that DS can't be in school due to - I assume - stress and severe anxiety. You can then go to the school and the LA to ask for home tuition till statutory assessment gets sorted out. Don't be fobbed off with the school sending work home, he's entitled to be taught properly.

Mine can swear in several languages but F%&k is his favourite - usually at the worst possible moments! It's the most embarrassing part of his behavior and the bit I really struggle to retain my composure about at times.

Who do I get the medical letter from, the gp?
Who would provide and pay for the home tutoring ?

Several languages that's impressive!
What do you do, do you ignore it.

Hi Skylar,
The clinical,psyc put a letter in for us to receive home tuition on medical grounds. The LEA pay for and provide the tutor, however it is only around 5 hours per week.

My D s was out of school for 4 year and now has an alternative education linked to an independent school who are fab and do really understand what he's going,through in order to leave the house and if they don't know the trigger or the why he done something in a certain way they are doing there best to find out. So from my experience with the right provision progress can be made.

A lot of councils try to get away with providing only 5 hours a week home tuition for children out of school due to medical needs. However, 5 hours is the minimum, and they should receive at least 10 hours if they can cope with it. Also if they have a statement the council has a duty still to provide the support set out in the statement.

That's right nenny, we were given 20 mins for 4 days to start as they said that's all he could cope with! We did up it to 11 hours over 2 days eventually. As for the statement provision, we kept being told it's easier in school, we don't have the resources/space etc etc at home. Even the home tutor provided by the LAnwas to happy with the excuses given.