Thank you all
Zzz - the ' plus' is something I've never agreed with. On day one in reception they asked me if he was a bit deaf. Err no. He's just 4 years old and needs firmly telling what you want him to do. They insisted I had his hearing checked - it was fine.
Six months later they tell me that they'd like me to take him to see a speech therapist. I tell them that there is nothing wrong with his speech. They say that because he pronounces ' flowers' as ' schlowers' there is cause for concern. I duly take him , and the therapist is most bemused at the end of the test as to why the school referred him - writes a report informing the school that there is nothing wrong with his speech and comprehension. The school are gob smacked. It was all very weird.
Then begins a campaign from the school, telling me that his difficulties are down to me not reading to him. Up until 6 months ago, it was an impossibility. He would hang upside down on the bed, fidget badly, talk , cry, ... It was absolutely not worth it and just meant I got cross and he screamed etc etc so I made the decision to not read to him but instead to point out words as we went along or to incorporate reading into a nature walk etc. the school told me that if only I read to him more then he'd be fine. I felt differently and refused to do it. He now loves being read to in the evening - providing its a Roald Dahl book!
So the old school never supported me in anything. I've suggested he may be dyslexic and they eye rolled at this. I've suggested Aspergers which the SEN head teacher dismissed. They had me in the school telling me that he gets very het up at break times and then is almost impossible to settle back down and his lack of concentration was disturbing the class to the extent that he was being removed to sit with the year 6s. I suggested that they bring him in a minute or two before the end of break and requested that a staff member ensured that he didn't race around screaming at break as obviously he then can't calm himself and they just looked at me like I was mad.
So yes, I've not always seen eye to eye with the school. This new school is a better fit for him ( he was the only SN child at his old school, believe it or not ) and he loved his first day!
He's not my only child so I know his behaviours are not quite normal. But he ticks lots of normal boxes too. He's quiet and transfixed in the cinema, he's great at my parents, he loves being cuddled and he's very capable of his own personal care but is a typical lazy child! He can sit in a restaurant on occasions and I could leave him in the car for five minutes if I popped in a shop and he'd be able to be trusted just fine.
The flip side of this is meltdowns when triggered, 'quirky' behaviour which many people tell me about, extreme stubbornness , easily embarrassed, reserved, inability to make friends and not actually all that bothered about that. Oh and he cannot read at all. He doesn't even have the ability of a child just entering reception which I can't believe is just down to him being a late learner. However he is ahead in maths and science. He has lots of passions such as space, the Egyptians and Greek mythology and can tell you lots about them all!
He probably ticks some Aspergers boxes.
I shall check out those links, thank you