what do you think about other parents filming your dc at clubs/activities

[tacal]

Hi, just wondering what other people think about this. My ds is doing an activity 'camp' this week during school hols. Not a lot of parents stay while it is on, maybe 3 or 4. Yesterday one of the parents was filming her ds on her phone. It was a big long video with my ds right in the centre of her screen. It made me feel really uncomfortable. My ds needs extra help with the activity and can do some strange repetitive movements. I didn't feel comfortable with her videoing him. Was i being silly? I am a bit overly emotional this week. I would be grateful to hear your thoughts on this. Thank you.

Tbh it wouldn't worry me people were taking photos at dd2s end of term event

Yes, thought i might be being over sensitive. He has an absent father who is always looking for information about us on the internet, even tho it was his choice to be absent. But i guess the chances of him seeing anything put on internet by other people would be remote. I don't want him to know anything about us.

I am happy for photos to be taken at school because it is on the understanding nothing is put on internet.

thanks, i will try not to let it bother me in future

I can understand why you feel uncomfortable.

But the reality is that once it is a public place, there is nothing to stop picture taking.

It seems like it is your discomfort speaking; understandable. It's part of the load with a DC with SN.

Ah. Cross posted. There is a lot of other issues then.

Well, absent dad can search as he likes. He can 'know' what he finds online; it is no substitute for knowing what day-to-day life is like. He can only have that power over you if you give him the space in your head for him to occupy.

Thanks redountable I think I had not thought of it as a public place. It is his karate club in the local scout hall. But i suppose it is a public place. And you are right, i need to get the absent father out of my head and get on with living and enjoying our lives.

I don't like it - due to the internet issue. I'd hate a potential job recruiter to see DS on an internet image 20 years from now. Once it's on t'internet you have no control. I am not a member of facebook for this reason either.

However, as a homeschooler, I and other parents do take the occasional photo when I remember sometimes on my phone. This is so we have a meagre record of "socialisation activities" for any ignorant carrots that may pass thru our lives due to the stereotypes out there about homeschooling and socialisation. In this instance I have no objections to other parents filming DS, as it's for a common cause iyswim.

Sorry redoubtable I spelled your name wrong.

Thank you bochead. That's what i don't like. Having no control over what goes on the internet. I am at karate now and Ds was just crying. The one parent has been busy filming most of the class. So one parent filming and there are around 30 people in the class. Doesn't seem fair. But i am not letting it bother me today.

I personally have several conflicting views on this...

When my DS was at nursery, a couple of parents didn't want their DC photographed under any circumstances. That was all well and good - and I totally understood the parents' point of view. However the nursery took it to an extreme and banned ALL photography (and cameras!) during events such as sports day. This was even if the not-to-be photographed children were nowhere near the potential photographer.

It's meant that I have no photo record of my DS when he was at nursery. It made a lot of parents quite angry at the nursery because they were too rigid.

Conversely, a close family member has just set up a holiday activity for children. We have spent a great deal of time thinking up a policy for our "official photographs". So, we are very aware that some parents don't want their DC photographed and have an official policy.

However, this doesn't stop other people photographing/videoing children when their child is participating in this event.

On another track... Many many years ago, before FB and social media, DD was (unknown to us) photographed by the official photographer at a very large international event. The next year, her photograph was used all over their advertising - bill posters, magazine articles, flyers, leaflets - you name it, her face was on it! We only discovered they'd done it when we went to the same event the following year. (She'd changed so much in that year, that I honestly didn't recognise my own daughter, until she pointed it out that it was her! )

I was very about it as it was without my consent. So I approached the company - who told me to go away because just by being there it was a public event and they could do what they wanted with their photographs of my DD. I was even more at that response! But because they sent me a whole host of literature with DD's face plastered all over, I decided not to persue it. It's now my DD's 15 min of fame

Still not happy it happened though but I don't think you can stop people filming/photographing their children and your child gets "caught" in the camera.

It's a thorny subject isn't it.

I get the feeling of discomfort; TOWIE I shudder at the thought of my young daughter being 'used' in this way, and without consent. It just feels wrong.
It also feels wrong when family members put pictures of my children on Facebook side-by-side with their own kids. (I dont do Facebook). No reasonable person could surely object to that?

But, but, but....this must be the feeling that 'public' faces have constantly. Can you imagine how Kate Middleton felt being photographed on her hols and having it disseminated. I would hate to have my photo at a local event put on Facebook...but it's minor compared to the indignity of public figures. And yet, what is the option?

I dont like it. I do not like it. It feels like an invasion of privacy. As bochead says, what about the future?

I dont know what the answer is; it feels to me as if the only answer is to rise above, accept that some people like to live vicariously online, but that it's not for me to know or worry about.

It still a very strange feeling even now and it happened over 10 years ago. Now DD is grown-up, it's a lovely memento of her childhood - and we still laugh about it - particularly as I failed to recognise my own daughter, despite her being advertised in countless magazines and national newspapers

But it still feels very wrong that my consent wasn't asked for. She was participating in a very male dominated "thing" (don't want to out myself by saying what!) - so I can understand why they took her photo - pretty young girl doing a very traditionally male dominated thing.

But they could have asked - or even used a child model!

Apparently there was something in tiny tiny print somewhere (god-knows where tho!) to state that any photos they took could be used for what-ever purpose they wanted.

The ironic thing was, she hated doing the thing and had a full scale temper-tantrum hissy-fit just after the photo was taken

that is awful TOWIE .To use your daughter's photo without your permission just does not seem right. If you had not gone back to the event the following year you would never have known. I am really shy and self conscious and hate the thought of there being pictures of me anywhere public.

I allowed ds to be photographed at nursery ( except not to be put on their website). I have never stopped him being photographed anywhere. This is the first time I have felt uncomfortable and I think it is because it was a very long video. And it was not a show or something special, just a karate class.

He is doing a different activity next week, so it will be interesting to see if there are parents filming the kids there.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.

I wouldn't worry about other parents filming groups of children that happened to include mine, even though I'm not on Facebook etc and wouldn't put pictures of my family on somewhere like that. I think it's to do with the intent and the other parents probably haven't even noticed my child, they are focusing on their own, the same as I woudn't really notice other children around if I was taking photos of mine.

However, I'd be rather cross about the advertising campaign without permission thing. You should have charged them for modelling fees!