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2nd thread - this time my concerns about DS possible ASD/Aspergers?

10 replies

Mummy23Monkeys · 08/04/2014 13:25

I have another thread about my DD but thought it would be easier to start a seperate one about my DS. I have very different concerns about my DS (age 5 in reception class) but am also very hesitant to do anything about it as there currently isn't any problems at school and everyone already thought I was being paranoid when I started the process with DD.

Anyway I would really appreciate your thoughts on my concerns about DS and please be honest with me if you think these can all be explained as typical 5 year old behaviours!

Very clumsy, trips, falls, bumps into things often (several times a day)
Difficulty holding pencil & writing, he has a very bendy thumb which bends the wrong way when gripping a pencil so he still prefers to hold it like a toddler does in a full fist.
Gets very obsessed with one thing/character and collects all figures, vehicles etc wants to always play it, wants clothes with that character on, even bedding etc (the longest phase of this was Fireman Sam, we own everything possible to do with him and he won't part with them even though he has now moved on to another 'favourite')
Sets up 'worlds' and gets very upset/angry if someone messes it up or wants to play with it.
Can't keep still, falls off chair often when eating meals.
Doesn't feel the need to conform, isn't bothered what other children are 'into' he likes what he likes.
Walks round in circles whenever talking on the phone (only person he speaks to on the phone is my mum and she always says he doesn't hold a conversation just tells her what he is doing then says bye)
Doesn't like his food mixed, won't eat spag bol, shepherds pie etc as mixed together and likes dry food no ketchup, gravy, mayo.
Excelling at reading (reading books my DD read in Y2) and very good at maths.
Has quirks about clothing- wont wear jumpers, wont wear trousers with adjustable waist, has to wear bed socks with pyjamas, won't wear a sleepsuit without feet in it, labels in clothes annoy him.
Makes a big deal having hair cut/nails cut saying it hurts but doesn't react to hurting himself, tripping, bumping etc doesn't like a fuss and always says he is ok (even when he clearly isn't)
Licks you rather than kisses you.
Doesnt like loud noises (Crawled under the table and wouldn't come out when a loud relative came over) yet he talks very loud.
Only recently learnt to actually peddle a bike and can't ever see a time he would be able to ride without stabilisers as very wobbly (can't seem to stear and peddle at the same time)
Loved jigsaw puzzles at a very early age could do 35 piece independently before age 2.
Always been happy to play alone and was a very easy baby in that way as happy to be put down not demanding or clingy.

He has always been an easy child as he is happy to do his own thing and he just has these 'quirks' but I think I'm starting to worry more now as the move into Y1 in sept may be difficult when it isn't free play and he is expected to sit still at a desk and work!

School have no issues about him other than he gets very excited about activities and takes a while to calm down to move onto the next task, but they put this down to enthusiasm which they think is great! He is also behind with his writing ability but again this is normal in reception class so they aren't concerned.

Any thoughts would be appreciated thank you!

OP posts:
ToniQueensPark · 08/04/2014 15:15

hi there, I would share your concern of the following from your list:

Very clumsy, trips, falls, bumps into things often (several times a day)
Difficulty holding pencil & writing, he has a very bendy thumb which bends the wrong way when gripping a pencil so he still prefers to hold it like a toddler does in a full fist.
Can't keep still, falls off chair often when eating meals.
Doesn't like his food mixed, won't eat spag bol, shepherds pie etc as mixed together and likes dry food no ketchup, gravy, mayo.
Excelling at reading (reading books my DD read in Y2) and very good at maths.
Has quirks about clothing- wont wear jumpers, wont wear trousers with adjustable waist, has to wear bed socks with pyjamas, won't wear a sleepsuit without feet in it, labels in clothes annoy him.
Makes a big deal having hair cut/nails cut saying it hurts but doesn't react to hurting himself, tripping, bumping etc doesn't like a fuss and always says he is ok (even when he clearly isn't)
Licks you rather than kisses you.
Doesnt like loud noises (Crawled under the table and wouldn't come out when a loud relative came over) yet he talks very loud.
Only recently learnt to actually peddle a bike and can't ever see a time he would be able to ride without stabilisers as very wobbly (can't seem to stear and peddle at the same time)
Always been happy to play alone and was a very easy baby in that way as happy to be put down not demanding or clingy.

Im a parent rather than a professional but above points to possible high functioning ASD ?? But thats only because I know something about that, it could be something else, 2 schools of thought: 1. is it better to let the school lead on this because he is still young, clearly very bright and being super bright he might learn to overcome his issues? There are a lot of kids on the ASD spectrum – some are officially diagnosed, some are just a bit quirky and different and their educational development is unaffected. IMO that’s the tipping point – intervene if his education is affected. Probably a good idea to get a copy of your school’s SEN policy and have an informal chat with them about your concerns if you haven’t already and check if they have any experience with ASD in the school and how they manage it....and also make a decision about whether you would actually trust the school's advice. 2. You can go to your doctor and share your concerns and ask for a referral for a Behavioural Assessment aka a Neurodevelopmental Assessment or whether he thinks a referral for some occupational therapy might help...or both - good luck

Ineedmorepatience · 08/04/2014 17:57

Hi mummy if your Ds's issues dont really cause him or you or your family any difficulties then it is unlikely that he would need or get a diagnosis.

However if there comes a time when his issues start to impact on his or your life negatively then I would say you have enough "Red flags" on your list to warrant an assessment with a developmental paediatrician.

I would make some notes about his issues or just print your post and put it in a safe place. If you ever ask for an assessment you will be asked to give a detailed history and your notes will come in handy.

Only my opinion of course Smile

Good luckSmile

Mummy23Monkeys · 08/04/2014 21:23

Thank you both for your thoughts, I will just wait and see for now but keep notes incase needed.

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 08/04/2014 21:26

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2boysnamedR · 08/04/2014 21:46

I think I agree it might be worth investigating now. Think of it as a investment. If things start happening at school in the future then you have starting point and a foot in the door now. You might not need it now but as polter says - the wait is shorter once your in the system. I know some people who can not get seen for love nor money by five as there has been no history and there's no backing from school.

It might also be you get some knowledge that can help. For example I would stop my son flapping as now I understand why he flaps and really it's no harm to anyone. So if anyone says "why does he do that, I stop that if was you" I can role my eyes

2boysnamedR · 08/04/2014 21:47

Sorry I mean wouldn't stop him flapping

Mummy23Monkeys · 08/04/2014 22:16

Thanks PolterGoose you have been helpful on both my threads, so you think I should do something now even though there isn't any real problems as yet? Do problems tend to get worse as they get older and obviously have more to cope with? I really wasn't sure as although my list is long they are all just normal DS quirks that we are used to!

I do find it quite hard to think about starting this process for DS because of there not being any problems at the minute but see what you are saying about the length of time it can all take (I know from experience with DD that I started the process in nursery and she was in Y1 by the time we had an outcome, and that was no diagnosis I assume its even longer if there is?)

Also thanks 2boysnamedR I have started reading quite a bit as I have issues with my DD too and it does help to start understanding what could be the reason behind some things they do!

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 08/04/2014 22:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PolterGoose · 08/04/2014 22:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

2boysnamedR · 08/04/2014 22:43

My eldest has some autistic traits which was impacting quite a bit on our / life but he improved as he got older. I only noticed them as being autistic traits when my youngest started to show delays. So it's easy to see things when you know what to look for. No one can say if it will improve / get worse. I think there are some things in your list which make me think of my dyspraxic boy - but as I say my eldest has some strong traits, but he's nt so it's just quirks in that case.

If he is rigid then the problem could arise that he maybe finds it hard to join in play as the other kids want games to flow and evolve but he wants the same game with his rules. Of course he may also very well grow out of it.

Impossible to say either way - but with your concerns I think you would / should be listened too. Not read your history - but if you know, there is a big 'watch, wait and see' policy. No child just gets a diagnosis just like that so don't ever worry that some one will slap a label on him.

Also some of things are just our kids quirks, my son has a lot of quirks which I didn't even see. It's just in his case those quirks where a symptom of something. Maybe not in your ds case I would take to your gp and the school as your concerned. If your thinking twice then that's who you should be listening too, yourself

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