Prejudice against SEN child from HEAD TEACHER? Is inclusion really this exclusive?

[Gingeete]

Our daughter is 3 and has Mild - moderate learning difficulties, her diagnosis has caused developmental delay, she isn't walking yet (but will), is only just starting to say words (has great potential to be very articulate) and may be prone to behavioural issues around food.

We have been seen by pre school specialist teacher at home for last few months and told she is likely to need a statement of education or EHP when it comes to school. Also being told it's very hard to get a statement and not guaranteed even with a diagnosis as she is showing potential. So confused.

We have decided to think worst case scenario and although there is a school out of catchment that we love it's unlikely to accept her without a statement.

We viewed our village school and were shown around by the Head this week. He started our appointment by saying if his school had to take Our daughter if they were named on the statement then it would be at the cost to the school for the first 12 hours of extra care she would require. He emphasised that would be TO THE DETRIMENT OF THE OTHER PUPILS. He showed us around the school and showed how the disabled toilets were used as girls changing rooms, told us his teachers would not be willing or able to help our daughter with toileting and he kept on about how his various classes were "high achievers".

I understand people have issues with special needs however this has been the first experience where I really felt our daughter was not welcome and would be an imposition on them. I did not meet other teachers so am unsure if this is the school ethos or just the head. I understand budgets are tight and the law is the law but I would feel so angry he at attempted to place the responsibility of finance issues on us. I feel uncomfortable that if my daughter does not get a statement we would have to send our daughter somewhere, where she would clearly be unwelcome.

I do fail to understand how a man of this level of ignorance and prejudice can be left to influence and shape the lives of other children.

Furious, sad, shocked and unsure whether to complain or what to do. Any other experiences?? Is this the taste of things to come?

I am shocked by the experience you have had. My son has a statement and attends a specialist school but was at a ms infant school. Whilst this wasn't an appropriate placement, until such time as the right one was found, the school dealt with him and us as parents appropriately. What you have experienced is not only inappropriate, it is illegal. Personally I would report your experience to the local authority! It is down to your local authority to ensure your child has a proper education. Also, I would try and get the statementing process underway ASAP. Do you have a supportive nursery?

all sorts of people are out there. My son is 8 now and I have been thro' a lot. Having special needs children needs lot of energy and will to fight and not to give up. Not everyone is bad, you will find somewhere after few experiences where your child is accepted and you are comfortable. I agree with the other parent suggesting that you need to work on Statement as soon as possible.

Not been funny but I'm of another predicament my daughter was accepted at a school and the school don't look after her !! I wish they had been honest and told me all the things you said you were told because that is how my daughters school is! I would have never chosen it if I'd known the truth

Does the out of catchment school have a social/medical criterion in its oversubscription criteria?

It may be possible to get a place there even without a statement.

"Our daughter is 3 and has Mild - moderate learning difficulties, her diagnosis has caused developmental delay, she isn't walking yet (but will), is only just starting to say words (has great potential to be very articulate) and may be prone to behavioural issues around food."

Can I ask who told you that she is classified as having mild-moderate LD? I ask because DD1 has 'moderate learning difficulties' and at 3 had been walking 13 months (but was very wobbly and prone to falls) and had been talking for a year but was severely delayed.

I'm not asking to criticise, but I do think it's in your interests to be as cautious as possible about your DD's 'potential'. The LA need to meet her needs as they currently present, not as they think they might present one day in the future!