April Fools day!

[jomaynard]

We had been having such a good year.
Until the class teacher decided to play an April Fools joke on the class. She told them they all had to learn Chinese by the end of the year. DD got that it was an April's fool at first, but then as they insisted it was true she started to think it must be. Only to discover it wasn't after all.
She got "teased" about this at Break time, and it has led to a total melt-down and another child getting hurt.

I'm wondering just what the class teacher was thinking. She knows DD doesn't like feeling a fool. She should know DD struggles at times to know what is true and what isn't (as she has little comprehension of body language). It is increasingly becoming obvious that DD has little idea of her own emotions, and its something we need to really work on.

So now I have the worst of all worlds. I need to go into school tomorrow and I kind of wish it had happened months ago, as I'd have taken her out to HE her.

Now I need to calm down and think what to say to DD, now I know the facts.

Aww. That's such a cruel thing to do :(

Does she get teased a lot, at school?

It hasn't happened too much this year.
But she has also had much better behaviour, so of course they have stopped her support sessions.

She said she is always being called weird.

I think she has been so in control that they totally took their eye off the ball. So when she got very upset they still sent her out to break, which is when the incident happened.

When I tried to talk to her, she got very upset. But if you ask her when she is crying and totally losing it, how she feels she can't tell you. If you ask her how she feels at any time she can't tell you.

So if they say something like "if you get upset, tell a teacher" or "if you get upset you can go to X" - it is useless. How can she obey that if she has no idea how she feels, and trying to know is one of those things which upset her?

So we've now gone from nearly 2 terms of good behaviour - to at least 2 violent outbursts, and a few other less severe incidents.
She hasn't been allowed on the year 6 residential, at least partly because there was an incident at the end of SATs week. Which was because she didn't eat lunch on a trip to the pool, because no one told her when she could eat. The school said, "We can't tell all 90 children individually that its time to eat". Well actually there are only a few children who specifically need to be told such information.
Anyhow despite being very anxious beforehand, she is now happy in school doing the alternative activities for the small group left there.

I've begun to realise that what is happening in school are "meltdowns" and she is acting pretty classically, so can't really control her behaviour. Unfortunately I'm struggling to advise school on how to spot the triggers - as they haven't happened at home for 2 years or more.

argggh!

What year is she in?

I am guessing Yr 6 as she wasnt allowed on the residential.

She is probably very stressed with all the changes at school.

They have had SATS and stupid teachers going on and on and on about moving to secondary.

Dd3 is sooo uptight I am ready for her to blow any day now

In a way I wish she would blow at school so they can see what they are doing to her.

Your poor Dd not knowing when to eat her lunch, she must have been so confused.

They need a kick up the arse for not bothering to tell her individually!!

Year 6 - I am really looking forward to her leaving. I have a deep respect for the SENCO at her new school. I think the structure will suit her too.

We had one brief visit and I realised that when DD is in new situations and is worried, she gets incredibly good posture. I could just tell she was stressed, but a casual observer might have thought she was just a very well behaved child.

My Dd3 is like that, she masks her anxiety so well.

Her teachers describe her as quiet and lacking in confidence but that is actually the complete opposite of her true personality.

That is how she gets through the day.

I cant wait for her to leave either but despite much respect for the SEN team at her new school I am filled with dread at the thought of how she is going to cope