SM and going back to school

[starbright]

Am getting more and more anxious as the school term approaches .
In relation to my previous thread on my ds who is 5 and has selective mutism I had a disagreement with the school that was unresolved before the end of term.
Am now worrying what sort of reception I will get now from the head and the teachers as I don't want to come across as a troublemaker.In reality am just a concerned mother who is standing up for her ds's needs.

Am still not happy with their decision about ds's placement but I am reconciled to the fact that he will have to start the term within that placement until we can have a meeting to discuss otherwise.
It is a risk to start him within this new group and could set him back as he was progressing so well and starting to talk within his previous grouping.
Not sure if he should start the term until all this is settled ,if it ever will be as I might be fighting a losing battle.
Would you consider waiting to see if the decision about his staying in reception and not moving to year 1 could be reversed or go along with the school and keep a close eye on his progress and carry on trying to get help reversing it?

Sorry bit muddled just wondered if anyone else had any experience of this?

Hi Starbright, just wanted to say hello. My two DS are dyslexic, and the eldest is dyspraxic too. We had lots of battles with their first school, and I ended feeling like they saw me as the mother from hell, when all I was trying to do was get the support that my children needed - and are entitled to! The LEA were no better, sadly. Or the governors! I was so concerned about the lack of support for my youngest son that I refused to send him into school at the beginning of Yr1, and suddenly everyone sat up and took notice. (I didn't do it to make a point, by the way, I was genuinely concerned for his welfare). We actually ended up moving schools, and things were much better. The Headteacher had worked in a school for children with special needs prior to getting the headteacher's job, and he really understood the difficulties the boys had. And he had a genuine love of children, which I now realise the head at the first school did not. It's hard to know when to stick to your guns, and when to cross your fingers and hope everything works out for the best. Looking back I wish I had listened to my instincts, which were telling me that the first school was not the right place for my children. I'm sure you'll make the best decision for your child - and remember, teacher doesn't always know best!

Lilymae8-thanks for the reply.
It makes you wonder what the LEA and the school governers are there for.
I had no joy with the governers ethier but I was a bit sceptical as I had thought they would be on the schools side after all.

I thik this is the problem with ds's school the lack of understanding SM.Although the school has a high intake of SN children and is well known for it's good record in dealing with SN children.
They have had numerous professionalsd advising them about my sons SM and literature left for them but I still can't get through to them.

Pleased for you that your ds's are now getting the support they deserve.

As for ds changing schools the other school is the other side of where we live and does'nt have a good ofstead report so would prefer to stay at
this school.

Good luck with getting the school to support your DS properly. He's lucky to have a Mum like you, determined to get the education he deserves. In our case, although we changed schools, things were far from perfect, as there simply wasn't enough money in the special needs budget to provide what our DSs needed. Both DSs are now home educated, but we went through five years of trying to get help before taking them out of school. Having said that, I have friends who have fought for support, and won, and I'm sure your issues with the school will be solved. I hope all will be well for your DS at school soon, and wish you all the best.

Lilymae8 thanks for your kind words.
I do wonder if I am making a big thing about this and it will all work out in the end.But my instincts tell me something different and as they say "mother knows best.
A few of the other mothers at ds's agree this is the wrong decision and they also say that some mothers are just quite happy to pack off their kids at the school gates in the morning and thats that.So nice to know I have their backing even if that does'nt hold any weight with the school.

Have great respect for you home educating your children ,I have thought about this before but with my sons SM the profesionals say it is best he stays in the mainstream and gains confidence in groups.

Can't give advice starbright, only sympathy as I am in a similar position with dd2 who struggled in Reception (possibly has a sensory disorder) but has been put into a class which I am sure is not right for her, and also separated from her only friend. I have also had unproductive meetings with her teacher and the Head. If it helps I have decided to send her back in September but with a low threshold for removing her at half-term if she is still as unhappy. If this happens I will home-educate her I think.
Good luck with whatever you decide.

Thanks kateF-It is a dificult situation to be in .I understand that the school can not accomadate all the childrens needs but you would think they would be more approachable and more understanding to a child with special needs.
After all I thought that is why the government introduced the SEN code of practices so that the schools,professionals and parents worked together on these things.Unfortunatly the communication at ds's school has been sadly lacking.

Starbright,
With respect, I disagree with the professionals saying that you shouldn't home educate your DS because he needs to get used to groups. My DD (5) also has SM and I am home-educating, so I have thought about these issues a lot. I do wonder whether the whole SM thing is just that some children are not ready for nursery/school at the age when they go, and I say this as somebody who sent my DD to playschool at age 2 so this is not 'pointing the finger' at anybody except myself. Surely an SM child can be treated for any circumstances in which they show symptoms, e.g. my DD will not speak to adults outside the family, so she does not need to go to school to get treatment for that. She can be treated at her Saturday dance class, for example, or at HE group or any of the other social situations in which we regularly find ourselves. Of course, you may not want to HE for other reasons, but do not let the professionals pressure you against that decision if it is what you want to do.