Swithering about DD again...

[neverputasockinatoaster]

I have posted about this before but I am asking for help again....

DD is 6. I think she has an ASD. However, she doesn't seem to present typical 'symptoms' as it were.

There are days when I think yup ASD and then others when I think she's just very stubborn and badly behaved and I am a shit mum.

DS has a dx of HFA so my family and some of my friends think some of it is learned behaviour.

If I post some of her behaviours could you help me categorise them? I'm trying to make a chart linking her issues to the triad of impairments so I can blast the DR with evidence.

The sensory list is easy......... It's the others I can't do!

So:
Has a very limited range of foods she will eat. Will not even countenance trying anything new.
Packed lunch must be identical every day or it won't be eaten.
Drinks only water or milk
Screeches if 'thwarted' - the other day she took a book to show the lady at breakfast club. She held it behind her back and another child spotted it and commented on it. DD shrieked in her face. She shrieks at me all the time. She faces consequences for it but still does it.
Every bedtime we must do EXACTLY the same things right down to the litany of animals I can see in her room. I have had to write the script for DH and my mum for times when I am away! I have said it so many times I can say it over the phone without being able to see the animals.
If someone asks her a question she replies in a really silly voice
Interrupts all the time
Has a very loud voice
Is a catastrophic thinker
Is very anxious about everything
Finds parties and loud places difficult
Refuses to poo because she doesn't like the feeling. Can acknowledge that she hates having a sore tummy and dirty pants but can't seem to grasp that she is causing them by not pooing
Has intermittent weeping sessions about things that changed ages ago.. eg she had a new wardrobe and still bursts into tears because she misses the old one - it went a year ago.
Her games are based on TV programmes but she does play a lot with DS. She needs to be in charge of the script but so does he so that's fun!
Is obsessed with collections - if she gets a book and it is part of a series then she worrits and frets about getting the rest of them.
Will not willingly get rid of anything.. every random bit of paper is vital! Too small clothes must be kept for her cuddlies.

There is more but I can't think how to put it!

Language - she is very verbal. Sounds like a little professor some of the time but then talks in a baby voice. Will often say 'That was sarcasm wasn't it Mummy' if I am sarcastic.....

She has a peculiar ay of walking too - she is slightly pigeon toed and she slaps her feet down. This may be due to wearing her shoes too loose because she hates anything tight.......

Still watches and adores cbeebies.
Still carries her cuddly toys everywhere she goes.. they must come in the car with us to school and then have to be strapped in to her car seat!

Won't wear her school tie (can't blame her!) because she feels like she is beign strangled.....

Will talk to anyone but only about things she is interested in!

It all sounds very familiar to me too.

there are loads of thigns from your list which I could easily say about my dd2, and she was dx'd with AS last week. the keeping every little thing, needing to complete collections, and insisting on old clothes being worn by her toys made me wince with recognition...

I think you easily have enough to go on to ask for further investigation.

Sounds very familiar to me to never, I also have a Dd with Asd.

I agree with polter [for a change] about doing some reading about girls with ASD, tbh you will find most articles are about girls with aspergers but your Dd is clearly high functioning so will probably fit.

The worst part for me about trying to decide whether to get Dd3 assessed was that nagging doubt that she was just a pain in the arse! but of course she isnt, she has Asd.

Good luck

I have read Tony Atwood and some essays about girls with ASD. She jsut doesn't seem typical at all.

When I look back at the DISCO questions , well the one I remember anyway, the answers I would give for her would be totally different to the ones we gave for DS.

The worst part for me about trying to decide whether to get Dd3 assessed was that nagging doubt that she was just a pain in the arse!

^^ THIS!!!!!

I talk about DD in the staff room sometimes (am teacher but not for much longer whoo hoo) and I can feel the sucky in breath and the thought bubbles above their heads saying 'That child just needs a good smack' and 'She'd not do that if she was mine' and 'Just make her eat the potatoes, she'll not starve if she misses a meal'......

Polter... that made me chuckle!

This is another reason I'm asking - I sometimes think my judgement is clouded by my experiences with DS.

Oh, I know it isn't the worst thing! I am just doubting myself so much. I see ASD everywhere I look!

I fight so hard for the children with ASDs at the school I work in and I think I just need to fight for mine but I feel very underconfident and keep thinking the GP will just laugh me out of the surgery if DD is on good form!

People who meet her have one of two reactions if I mention we suspect ASD. They either say something like 'Really? That does suprise me!' Or they say 'I did wonder..'

Soddit.

I shall ring the GP on Monday and get this process started!

The thing is lots of dc's are so good at masking their issues, particularly at school.

With Dd3 it has become more obvious as she has got older that she is really good at tests and assessments but functionally she is fairly poor. For example in a recent SALT assessment she scored really high on some of the formal tests on things that she is rubbish at in a whole class situation.

Luckily the Asd salt knows her really well now and is on the ball.

It has taken years to actually get it written into a report that this is happening.

When our dc's make the tests look like a walk in the park it needs a very experienced pair of eyes to actually see the Asd.

Dd3 was assessed using a DISCO and it did pick up her Asd, maybe it would be worth asking for one to be done on your Dd never.

Oh and fwiw, Dd3 can be a pain in the arse too but I can usually tell what is Asd and what is PITA behaviour now

I've decided against a chart - I'm just making a list of her behaviours to present to the doc.

The other day she had a 30 minute meltdown because I gave her back the wrong 5p piece when she'd asked me to look after one for her.......

Once the meltdown was over she then used the missing 5p as the reason for a tanty over cleaning her teeth........ And it was a tanty.

By the time I got to work that day I was frazzled!

I will ring on Monday to make an appointment. I shall go without her so I can be honest. That's what I did with DS. I then had to go back with him but it meant I could lay it on the line!

Just got back from the doctor.
He liked my list. He agrees she is not presenting as a NT child. He has agreed to refer her and is trying to go direct to the paved who dx'd DS. There are added complications with cross county schooling......
He has taken my list to send along with his letter as I included some specific examples which he said he found very telling.
Hopefully things will progress quickly and the process will begin before she moves schools.
Thank you for all your support.

Coming back to update.
The referral has been refused. It was triaged by cahms and they say she doesn't meet their criteria......
They won't see DS either despite him having epic rages - he doesn't meet their criteria either.
They suggest I try a parenting course.......
And, to add insult to injury, we have been told there are no places at the school we want to move them to...... despite there being places when I went to see the HT.
And DS has head lice....
Arse and fuckwittery bollocks.

Agree with Polter – back to the GP and see if you can get a referral to a developmental paed.

What you describe sounds very familiar to me too. A mix-and-match from my DS and the other kids I’ve met at his ASC social-skills group, ASC judo class, etc. And if I remember rightly, part of DS’s diagnostic process was a six-question check-list for Asperger’s which his class teacher filled in. Question 1 was “does the child sound like a little professor”

I would go back to the GP and see if a referral to a developmental paediatrician can be made instead. I would insist to the GP that this is done, do not take no for an answer.

CAMHS and ASD generally seem to be uneasy bedfellows and ASD is not their main area of expertise. You may have actually dodged a bullet there by them refusing to see your DD.

Asperger's syndrome was observed mainly by looking at a population of boys so girls often won't fit. However girls who don't meet the criteria for Asperger's can still meet the criteria for ASD (just based on the triad of impairment).