Sorry if this is long
I have a seven year old daughter who I have always felt there was 'something' with, iyswim. When she was a baby she was silent, rarely cried, didn't babble or make any noise. When she was about a year old she started to make a constant whining noise. She was diagnosed with a severe speech disorder at three she only had seven words and didn't speak in sentences til she was nearly five. She wouldnt make any sounds if she was around strangers. She was also still in nappies until she was four and a half because despite lots of attempts to potty train she just couldn't stay dry and is still not dry at night.
I have recently been really struggling with her behaviour. She is very combative and simply does not do what she is told. She doesn't and never had empathy, she doesnt notice if I get angry or if I cry. She is terribly stubborn and I have always felt that I have 'managed' her behaviour but this is more difficult as she gets older and now her younger sister is becoming less biddable.
She gets obsessed with things, a TV character or something from an activity we have done like a train timetable. She will make you repeat something a million times and it had to be in exactly the same way
She will take all her clothes off as soon as she comes home and will only wear certain clothes, no jeans and I have to cut scratchy labels out.
She will not have any cream on her of any description and is very sensitive to textures and washes her hands obsessively. She often has to have food in separate bowls in order to eat it.
She plays on her own most of the time at school and doesn't realise when other children are nasty. She often tells me things her best friend had said which are obviously a lie but won't have it even if it is ridiculous.
She shakes her arms a lot, in excitement and in frustration
She zones out and will ignore you for long periods often until you get up and touch her although her hearing is fine
She overreacts emotionally to things completely out of the blue sometimes
She often cannot tell me why she is upset or angry
She has a real understanding of numbers and is amazing at Maths, she is very bright but will not do her homework or reading even though she adores her teacher
I have been watching videos of her when she was little and she is different and as my younger daughter grows up, she's four the differences have been magnified
I looked up ASD after reading something on here and its like a lightbulb moment and everything finally makes sense, I feel devastated. What do I do now?