ok, have re-set the ball rolling for dd2's assessment.

[NewBlueCoat]

I spoke to Margo Sharp earlier today, wrt getting dd2 assessed. we are half way through year 2, and while dd2 is settled, and mostly happy enough, she is not performing to her abilities.

She has already been re-setted for maths, and is now in the lowest set (moved from top set, havign been performing well ahead of expectations, only 2 weeks after a parents evening where we were told all was ok ). She has a literacy assessment next week, where I expect more of the same, as her reading ability far outstrips her comprehension, and her language production and use (stereotypical 'little professor' at times) is way ahead of her receptive skills.

I am conscious that next academic year she will be KS2, and don't think she will cope well with the academic step up, and just don't want her to be wasting half of each year settling, with teachers saying 'let's see how she goes'.

It is looking likely she will be seen before the end of term .

Now I am having the customary 'but what if they don't see what I see?' wobble. Especially since school report no problems (until there is actually a problem, like with her maths , but even then, I was told nothing until I asked specifically for a meeting )

Wow, well done you!!!!

I'm very, very excited for you that you'll be able to see Margo Sharp.

I totally agree with this:
"and just don't want her to be wasting half of each year settling, with teachers saying 'let's see how she goes'."

I had that exact conversation with DD2's teacher. 1 term in Y1, 5 months to settle in Y2....it's not good enough.

It's amazing how the teachers prattle on about 'even one day in the year is a significant loss of learning' WRT absence, but they seem perfectly ok with a child who is 'present' but not engaging in the class at all.

oh, school will think I am bonkers! MS has said she wants to go in for observation, and school already think I am neurotic and dismiss my concerns (have eben telling them since dd2 started at preschool there that the maths situation woudl happen, as dd2 has high ability, but doesn't process the basics fully, and so the day was always going to come when she would flounder un less specific steps were taken to prevent it. which they weren't...)

but she is very clearly not NT. whether her struggles are enough to be observable (even the best professional only sees a snapshot, after all) remains to be seen.

I have ds' assessment on Friday too. he's on a fine line too (main concern is lack of speech, but there are other niggles too; he's only 18 months, though, so fully expecting a wait-and-see)

x-posts, lougle.

we got fed up waiting, tbh. and this way we will at least know whether she is not-NT enough to be 'something', or not.

it was exactly a year ago that we reached similar 'got to do somethig about tbis' point, but that never came to anything, and then dd2 started moving ahead with school, having finally settled (and in part because her teacher started listening to us), and then ds' issues came up,etc, etc.

now, after the first term being a write-off, and the fact that she is doing ok, but not working to potential, and with KS2 looming, we just want to move, and quickly.

If the middle of the class is where she is supposed to be (or the bottom, for that matter!) then so be it. but she shouldn't be starting each year classed as G&T, failing badly due to 'settling issues' , being moved down sets, then slowly starting to move ahead from half way through the year, only to end the year being G&T again . that kind of yoyo-ing is no good. especially hwen there are already cnfidence issues.

"and just don't want her to be wasting half of each year settling, with teachers saying 'let's see how she goes'."

I so remember the heartsink of 'starting again' with each academic year, trying to 'prime' the teacher, getting that vagely glazed, caring carrot look, and feeling the weeks/months slip by.

I pushed the school nurse to observe in Y2. School nurse said 'dd2 seems ok, I can't see any issues' but I promptly stated in no uncertain terms that I have heard 'wait and see' every year since nursery, GET HER RE-REFERRED..... school nurse did refer, referral accepted. In the meantime we languished on the waiting list, things started going clearly wrong in Y3. But by beginning of Y4 she was dx ASD.

Margo Sharp is one of the best, I believe. Can well understand the wobble, but I feel she will come through. Good luck with the assessment and let us know how it goes.

thanks, Handywoman.

your post was just what I needed, actually, as just reading your description of heartsink, and the way you were treated has brought it all flooding back for me (a good thing, as we are now of course half way through the year, so it is all plain sailing for dd2 from this point - until next September, anyway!)

we too have been saying the same thing every year since pre-school. and every year got the same smile-and-nod.

well, no more. enough of dd2's school life has been wasted.

I am so proud of you, Newblue. I have no right to be, of course, but you are so wonderful at advocating for your children. Lucky them.

I feel incredibly guilty, tbh.

dd2 has been moved around, and dropped into the nearest school (we did look around and think it was ok, honest!) as at the time what was concerning was dd1's school placement.

we have known for most of her life that she has issues. yet she has always been overlooked, to some extent, because there have always been more pressing issues.

the poor girl has been left to struggle through as best she can (it feels). I could have done more.

No, you couldn't. You did the best you could, knowing that if your DD1 wasn't sorted out then your DD2 would suffer simply from having a sibling whose very severe needs were not met.

You can't be a superhero. You can only fight the fires as they come. Now, it's your DD2's turn and you're pressing on with that despite having concerns for your DS and dealing with his assessments.

Be proud, she's being seen by the best, because you are willing and able to do so. Many who are willing wouldn't be able, and many who are able wouldn't be willing. You are both, and your DD2 is very, very lucky

thanks, lougle

that's a lovely thing to say.

it feels years too late, but you are right. she is being seen, and that is what counts now. we are so very lucky to be able to afford it, I do realise that.

I can't wait to hear what Margo is like and how you get on

Right, sleep!

I'll keep you posted! There'll be a few updates over the next few months, with 2 of them undergoing assessment...

Sleep, indeed!

I know how you feel regarding the guilt we put upon ourselves - I have 2 boys with asd and fought like a tiger for them without realising that there was a little girl in our family who needed me to fight just as hard for her but all we have had is what a lovely girl she is etc and somehow now at year 5 she is 4 years behind - all those fines seem worthless now.

you are doing the right thing - ive only ever heard amazing things about the lady you are using. you daughter has an amazing mum

I've spent alternate years fighting for each of my girls. It's just too hard to fight for both at once. Although overall I reckon my dyslexic dd1 misses out. I am very good at guilt!