am I being paranoid? SA related

[osospecial]

Would you trust a family support worker who worked for the LA who rang and asked you questions a week before proposed statement is due? I'm not sure if I'm being paranoid, would they actually do this just to see what my next move will be? What they think I will accept in the statement? Anybody had experience of this please?

What questions did they ask?

Where did this family support worker come from?

Did you answer the questions?

I have actually spoken to her before, at the start of SA process, she offered to come out to the house to go over the SA process, how it works, but I declined.
I don't think she remembers that as she didn't mention it, she said she had been given my details by the school as dd was going to be moving placement soon and she could help with that.
She said did I want her to help with arranging going to see the placements available?
I said we were in the middle of SA process and that I had taken ed psycs advice of gng to visit local asd units and had already been, at which point she asked if I knew which one I prefered and what I thought? I just told her I wasn't sure yet and was still looking at the options.

No, I wouldn't trust her with those questions.

I'm not saying for certain that you should be suspicious but my experience is that these people have very little time for offering you help off of their own back. You usually have to seek them out and beg them.

Thanks star, I just wanted to check as she said she would find out how the SA process was coming along for me. I did say I knew where it was at and what they were waiting on as I spoke to them last week but I had the impression she may ring me back in the week again. At least I will be a bit more prepared this time if she does.

Thank her politely for her offers of help and ask for her contact details should you ever need to take her up on that offer. Leave the conversation with her clear that you will contact her if you need to, not the other way around.

She has no business checking up on anything you haven't explicitly asked her to.

Perhaps she was supposed to have done something that she hasn't and is trying to catch up or perhaps she has some spare capacity at the moment and thought she'd give you some of her time. Either way unless you have a specific use for her, the fewer people involved with your family the less buck-passing or lost paperwork and communications there are.

Very shortly before my son's draft statement was due, his existing ms called me in and suggested I should be looking at special schools. I told them I had already been but had not made up my mind. They tried to influence me into looking at other schools, telling me the one I had looked at was too full. I continued along the lines that I had not made up my mind and stuck to that. When draft statement came, I named the school they told me was too full. It went to panel and we got the place there. I think ultimately they were terrified they would have to keep him there (vague mumblings about having to check they could meet his needs etc). When it's this close to getting the statement, I think you have to play your cards very close to your chest, everyone as their own agenda. And why would you need her to organise visits to a placement? Tell her you feel perfectly confident arranging that yourself!

ps. the best bit was once we got the place, they were delighted that I had followed "their advice" lol.

Yes thanks both, it did seem quite suspicious timing. I know there is one place the LA is keen to send dd and part of me thought they might be trying to find out if I'd visited there already and what I thought. I'm glad I didn't answer the question now. Thanks

Lol onestep

Tbh I had made my mind up several months before what I wanted but I was that wicked about the level of interference and manipulation, which probably wasn't entirely ethical, that I dug my heels in and wouldn't commit to a decision until the draft statement was in my hand. Tbh the outcome worked best for everyone so it doesn't matter anyomore. Good luck, hope you get the outcome you want.

I was never paranoid until I had Dd3 and had to start dealing with HCP's and LA's. They are shocking arent they.

My LA and school has been telling some corking lies to myself and other families recently!

It is horrible to feel like this isnt it.

Good luck

Thanks for the good luck wishes, it is a horrible process and not to be able to trust what you are saying and to who incase it goes against what support your dc will get is just wrong.
And to delibrately lie about things to deceive parents is shocking ineed.

Hmmm I agree, it is very worrying and is effecting my ability to trust the very people who are supposed to be helping and supporting Dd3!!

You know makes me sad? It's when professionals come the other side of the fence and then say 'holy shit!'.

Because if that it what it takes to convince them it is all a pile of poo then attitudes and views must be REALLY entrenched and therefore it is unsurprising that they view parents who try to point out how bad it really is, as troublemakers.

Despite everything I have been through I STILL don't believe the individuals within the system are inherently evil, but goodness me, ignorant to the reality of families.

Star- they are just following orders. Didn't work at Nuremburg and doesn't convince me that they are other than sick individuals.

When you've worked in the public service as long as I did you see how it works. Edict comes from on high to save money. 50% of the staff strive zelously to implement the order, savagly cutting budgets and thus gaining themselves Brownie points which they later cash in to get themselves promoted - where they can do even more damage.

The other 50% (actually, I'm being too generous, so let's say 10%) think the edict is absolute bollox, if not illegal and wouldn't touch it with a shitty stick, so strive dutifully to find higher priorities to focus on.

I actually went sick on a couple of occasions when i found myself in a cleft stick where my line managers wanted me to lie and I wouldn't do it. I guess some folks have mortgages to apy