Is there somewhere we can complain to? (no help anywhere)

[LetZygonsbeZygons]

wont go into details but YEARS of fighting to get proper help for disabled (physically and mentally) DC (shes 13) and NO ONE doing anything concrete -always on waiting lists/in trays/speak to my manager and well get back to you....which they don't etc etc.

there must be SOMEwhere I can complain to and even to the point of citing disability discrimination.
Ive gone to pillar and post and they all pass the buck,

will the police do anything? DCs getting worse by the day and I don't have ANY help or support.

Is she in school?

Do you have written records of all or at least some of your communications and requests for help?

If not, write to each agency you have contacted, summarising your journey with them so far, and include any dates you can remember of phonecalls, promises or communication, even if they are just rough dates. Also, where you can, include names.

Just do the best you can with this, and keep it factual and bullet-point like rather than whingy. And then at the end of the letter ask them to clarify clearly the next steps they recommend.

The purpose of this exercise is to create an evidence base before you launch forward.

Thanx for replying.

DC is homeschooled (another let down by education) so no head teacher/senco for them to listen to (although when she did go to school they weren't much help!)

ive got to the point where im almost shouting (large capital print) as theyre just not listening .

ive invited them to stay a day/night with us and see for them,selves what DCs like (theyd leave after 5 mins of her meltdowns) but of course they don't want to, and I have to live with this 24/7.

I have plenty of written records/emails and ive sent same email a few times with the heading -an update please, this is the 4th/5th/ etc time ive sent this, to everyone I can think of, including local councillors, to no avail.

all I want is someone (like Ofcom for tv complaints) to make a mahoosive complaint to.

Your big problem is that she is not in school. Therefore ypu don't have evidence of her behaviour to back up your claims of how badly she behaves. Most support is delivered via educational placement, so if she's not at school she's effectively invisible to them.

If you really are at the end of your tether then I suggest you write to the LA stating that you want them to undertake a statutory assessment as you intend that your daughter will return to mainstream school.

That should do it.

What exactly do you want anuway - respite? Diagnosis? You need to be more specific

they know what she was like when she WAS at scjool so that should be evidence enough (shes actuaslly calmer with home ed).

so going to school -not mainstream, and shes too severe for even the severe learning difficulties) is out of the question (she was ''asked to leave'' junior school as they couldn't cope with her-and that was a special needs school)

no, not respite, and shes got more than ehough diagnosis, its SOMEWHERE TO COMPLAIN TO!!!!! so we get the help we HAVE to have for her to have as normal a life as poss and also for me.

It's really hard when you fall under the remit of different departments/agencies for different needs, and there doesn't seem to be single 'body' in overall charge - especially as wet says, if she's not at school.

What about the local authority - ours has a Head of Children's Services, whose remit basically covers education and social care. Have a look at your LA website for a department/staff breakdown list and write to the person at the top of whatever seems the most relevant department, covering all aspects of how your dd is being let down. I would probably send a copy to social services dept too (if that isn't covered in the same department).

Can your GP help too, maybe providing back-up? And does your dd come under care of paediatric services?

What happened when you were "asked to leave" the ss?? I can't believe the LA would just leave you to it like this!

Also meant to say, it's also so hard that all the 'services' we get offered don't usually actually include anything meaningul like how to actually cope/teach/help our dc, do they. Other than school support (not even applicable in your case) we're all just left to get on with it aren't we - and to somehow become overnight experts in profoundly complex disabilities.

There was a poster here some years ago who ended up basically turning up on the LA's social services door saying "you have to help me as otherwise I will leave dc here with you". Desperate measures but desperate situation

we're all just left to get on with it aren't we - and to somehow become overnight experts in profoundly complex disabilities.

exactly.
and people shouldn't take ss/LA/services jobs if theyre not actually going to DO theyre jobs properly.

if there were no services at all then wed all on this site just have to 'get on with it ourselves' but the fact of the matter is that there ARE services out there and they should be acting, not taking it to their managers . why don't the managers ever see anyone?

to them were just names on a piece of paper.

You need something to complainabout

You can't just complain - that will just get you marked down as vexatious.

Have you asked for a social services assessment of your child's needs and your own?

wet shes had every assessment going, they KNOW her, they KNOW what she has and what it does to her.

I also know when its a parent trying to get help, the parent is often classed as neurotic and precious and entitled.

and as a lone parent its harder to be taken seriously yet these people have seen for themselves too at times.

I have a mountain load of things to complain about, and evidence of it too.

can someone please just help me by suggesting an actual PLACE/PERSON/HEAD OFFICE I can contact? CAB didn't know, I thought a parent of an sn child might.

There is no one place you can complain to.

You'd have to separate the failings into their areas:

Educational issues - complain to your LA. If your LA don't respond to your satisfaction, escalate through the complaints procedures.

Or apply for a Statutory Assessment, then appeal their refusal to assess, etc.

Social Care issues - complain to the SSD, then escalate as appropriate.

Health Services - complain to the Department, then escalate as per their complaints policies.

The LGO will look at educational issues once you've exhausted the complaints processes.

Thank you Lougle, that's aall I needed to know.

although thank you others too for your imput. , appreciate your time.

Google the name of your Local Authority + complaints procedure.

Every LA has to publish their complaints procedure.

Then decide what you want to specifically complain about.

But if you make it long and rambling and cover social services, education etc all in the same complaint I expect they'll just not take it seriously.

So, the LA complaints procedure has 3 stages after which you can complain to the LGo. But, again you need a specific complaint

thank you, will do-probably already have!

Is your DD under the care of a community paediatrician? Sounds like she should be. Could she help you?

Have you taken legal advice? If they're not providing adequate health, education or social care you may be able to take legal action and, if it can be in dd's name, you'd presumably get legal aid. Try someone like Irwin Mitchell.

thanks I will.
Blue shes never had a HV/community nurse/paed/nothing.

she was/is supposed to but nothings ever transpired.

shes been to CAMHS only twice yet they say she needs more help and then gets shoved in the in tray and still we wait.....
there are a lot of sn children and not enough resources but to be forever kept waiting? something wrong there.

always 'another meeting'......

The first port of call for all things medical - both physical and mental is your GP.

Your GP then refers on to specialists.

If the specialists are not delivering you can a) complain to your local PALS and/or to the NHS Trust and to your GP whose money is commissioing these services.

Why - if has has physical and mental difficulties, has she never even seen a Paed? That's the most basic specialist the GP should have referred you to.

Good tip - always complain in writing and copy someone else in the letter e.g. complain inwriting to CAMHS and send a copyto PALS or to your GP.

Wet our GPs quite good, but because of many house moves (for medical reasons) weve had to register at new GPs every time in the area, and somewhere along the line our med notes have wandered off somewhere-quite worrying really.

but yhes ill have to tell GP, shed written to ENT about 8 months ago foran appointment for DC and they hadn't replied 2 months later so GP got on to them again and DC was seen.

she does send numerous letters and things bless her, but theres only so much she can do, its a small surgery with only 3 docs and loads of patients,

LetZ

It sounds as though things have just been left to slide a bit and a whole new focus is needed on chasing up appointments etc.

Don't feel embarrassed at hassling them - as you say, they are busy and as a result, things can slip.

im on at them all the time .

only prob is it takes me away from the attention DC needs as im too busy chasing people.

(she lies on sofa and chills at this time so I can mn next to her!!)

If the GP isn't delivring then contact the Practice Manager and ask them to help you. The GP would prefer you did that than raise a PALS complaint.

It must be incredibly hard doing this on your own.

Sometimes it's worth revisiting things that have not helped before as they may be under different management, different policies or have secured funding since you last spoke to them.

I know! my gp does her best, though. thanks for the suggestions.

Im seeing a disability team next week for more imput.