I'm in tears.

[selfdestructivelady]

I just got showed a video of a friends DS who is better at talking than dd2 even though he is a year younger. I'm happy for my friend but it just highlighted how behind dd2 is. I feel really guilty for being upset over this. I should be pleased for her. I also keep questioning whether it's my fault dd doesn't speak much.

It is NOT your fault!

I'm sorry, it is an awful feeling. I used to avoid going to family's houses who had dc similar age to my dd1 because it highlighted my daughter's difficulties. So I can sympathise :(

Is you dc under a salt?

She has been referred we are just waiting for a appointment. Thanks both you've made me feel better.

It's really not your fault.

Things like this always used to completely floor me, as DS2 is still largely pre-verbal, at 7. I've toughened up a bit, now, and no longer get thrown right down in the dumps for days on end when I see a baby with more language than he has, but it's never completely gone away.

Very familiar with that feeling. It's horrible. Just remember hearing children born to 2 deaf parents manage to acquire language appropriately. Minimum required language exposure is a lot less than you think. So it's absolutely not your fault. That's not to say nothing can be done. A LOT can be done. Hugs to you x

It's not your fault at all. My son only started to really talk once he started school. He has a older brother who has never shuts up - both raised the same way in the same house with same genes etc.

I feel the same mil tells me about a child younger than dd2 who acts on stage with a theatre group ! What you feel is normal and it's not your fault

Not your fault at all! I have a DS who is pretty much non verbal at 3.5 (he's recently been diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia) and a ridiculously chatty 20 month old. To be honest DD gets / got a lot less attention than DS which just goes to show it makes little difference what you as a parent do.

I also used to get v depressed and frustrated ESP when a friend decided to tell me her son was so advanced with his speech because she talked and read so much to him!

The one big thing you can do to hel your DD now is push push push for help and support. I dont know how old she is or how severe she is but the sooner she gets therapy and you get given exercises you can do with her the better. Coud private speech therapy be an option if you are waiting for nhs appt?

Thank you everyone you've made me feel normal and much better.

Agree if you can beg/borrow/steal funds for private SALT your lovely dd will likely get started quicker and get a lot more input and actual support

Yes I second private salt. I wish I had started it sooner as it has shown how the nhs one under played ds needs

Not your fault at all! I have a DS who is pretty much non verbal at 3.5 (he's recently been diagnosed with verbal dyspraxia) and a ridiculously chatty 20 month old. To be honest DD gets / got a lot less attention than DS which just goes to show it makes little difference what you as a parent do.

I also used to get v depressed and frustrated ESP when a friend decided to tell me her son was so advanced with his speech because she talked and read so much to him!

The one big thing you can do to hel your DD now is push push push for help and support. I dont know how old she is or how severe she is but the sooner she gets therapy and you get given exercises you can do with her the better. Coud private speech therapy be an option if you are waiting for nhs appt?

I can't afford private salt we barely make ends meet.

Not your fault at all. No way. I have two DD's aged 7 and 5. My eldest seemed to acquire language almost without any input (although she obviously did) and it appeared so easy.

With DD2 (diagnosed with ASD last year) it has been so difficult. I was a SAHM with her, I worked when my eldest was young and she was in a nursery from 8am-6pm.

With DD2 we tried everything to bring her speech on. Nothing worked. She is now verbal but has very disordered and unclear verbal skills.

Don't blame yourself or compare your DS with anyone else's. That is the way to depression and madness!

Self destruct my family are on benefits so private anything isn't an option don't worry

I second the very wise poltergoose

Thank you. I wish I could afford private but I just can't.

I think the feeling passes/lessens over time. I have a neighbour with a son same age as mine. She used to tell me he spoke so well because he went to nursery (which was also a bit of a dig about me being a sahm). My son is now nearly 7 and diagnosed with ASD. Her younger child is now 3 and she tells me how advanced he is lol so sensitivity obviously isn't her strong point, but it doesn't get to me anywhere near the same. And she's giving up her job to be SAHM this year lol but I can smile and nod. My son is the way he is because of his ASD, I would probably have made life even worse if he hadn't had those happy times at home. I think it's actually a bit easier when they are older and clearly something is not right, whereas age 2/3/4 it's still open for debate and people home in on you and your parenting. Life will get clearer and better.

It's really not your fault so please don't feel bad. I had similar with my son, he has articulation disorder and he speech is unclear. My two friends both have girls around a year younger than my DS and every time we gob together it highlighted the massive difference in the development. With therapy DS is is making great progress and I can see the gap closing.

Self Destruct - I agree with everything that has been said. My DS is 17 months younger that my DD but everything about his language is more mature than DD. At 5 she still talks in very babyish sentences and I get that same feeling you described a lot!

I have the Hanen book, It Takes Two to Talk. I found it really useful. If you can send me your details, I will send it to you. Im happy to pass it on.

I think I will have to invest in this hanon book thanks all. Mumz thank you very much for the offer.