Need an uplift

[SnowAhead]

Ever get a down day and think why me? Why my child? I don't have anyone in my life that understands the strain of being a single mum to a disabled child. I love my son to bits and sometimes just lay there in bed worried to death about his future, he has asd and a major heart condition so i worry about everything, from if he will make it through his next open heart surgery to will he ever make friends or communicate properly. I know I will snap out of it soon and carry on our day to day lives but when I feel like this it gets me so down and hate feeling on my own :( anyone got some tips to help me pull myself together? This feeling seems never ending right now

Yep. I know what it is like. My last sob fest was at a meeting about 'your child starting school'. Wasn't expecting to be upset at all but when I had to wait to talk to the headmistress and overhead someone discussing their summer born child and whether they would cope with a September start my brain melted. It took my friend 2 hours to stop me crying and I was exhausted after.

I think we all need to have a good cry.

Try to think of the things he does which make you smile. My DS is obsessed with ballet at the moment. This evening he was dancing around the living room with his sister pretending to be a swan.

and

Thanks for your reply :) I think its like you live your 'normal' life but when ever an assessment, appointment, meeting etc comes up it hits you like a ton of bricks and you think about the harsh reality of the situation, do you get that? Makes me treasure what he does a whole lot more but can't help feeling sorry for myself sometimes lol but your right it is good to have a big cry and get it out of your system

It is hard work being a parent anyway and we have a load of extra stuff to cope with too. I think it is really hard when they are little as you have no real idea how many difficulties they will have. Is your dc still quite young? Mine is 4. I remember being so proud of my DS when he hit his first few milestones like sitting up and feeding himself. Parents without children with special needs will never know just how amazingly proud you can be of something like that.

I guess I felt better once I realised that my child was just as special as every other child but just a bit different. As our family has grown we have all learned about each other. I love my DS dearly and although I still feel sad about the things he struggles with I can also feel really happy about the person he is now. Sorry bit rambly. HOpe you understand what I mean?

Yeah he is just gone 3, I totally understand, although milestones may not be reached as quickly as others it's still amazing when it happens, maybe even more so. I think I need to think 'when' rather than 'if' and stop being so negative it's just frightening at times and I find myself automatically comparing him to other children and thinking what simple things people take for granted like their children having interest in the world and constantly asking why to everything it's probably hard because I have nieces the same age and younger and they have all passed him in stages. I'm sure I will snap out of these negative thoughts by morning it's just nice to talk to someone who understands

I have a dd who is 2 years younger than DS and it was a real shock when she overtook him! He is catching up a bit now though and they are more like twins. It is definitely hard when they are younger.

Snow

I too have a lot of scary and serious unpredictabilties healthwise.

The best advice I received is 'Worrying about something will not change the outcome'.

It sounds juvenile and obvious but sometimes it's useful to remember that instead of worrying we could be enjoying ourselves now and deal with the problems if and when they arise.

3 is no age at all. I have one who was predicted to be unable to ever lea a fully independent life. They got that very very wrong indeed.

Take care

Very true. Thank you both