Now that Star is more or less 'sorted' can I please share my current dilemma with DS2?
DS2 is 7 and has DME (ASD + 98/99th percentile) but is underachieving badly (but with average NC levels) in his current m/s, largely because he is lacking any NT social desire to please. At the same time he is capable of being damaged emotionally and psychologically if this is not well dealt with and there is evidence that he is becoming more anxious - consultant comm paed report says he 'trembles with anxiety' when faced with questions he can't answer (like what makes someone a friend) 
but is quite happy doing his own thing.
I have just applied for SA, refusal, appeal, meeting to improve provision. Not holding my breath.
I spoke to the head of a HFA free school that opened in my LA in September. She said that all the DC currently there have statements but that it should be pretty clear-cut now that he had been diagnosed (!). She was more concerned that the places would be filled if I didn't act quickly. She said that she could offer DS2 a place at the beginning of year 4 although they don't currently have a year 4 cohort. She asked would I like to visit and urged doing it sooner rather than later. However she did also say that she had no ability to select pupils who are placed there by the LA. The LA person placing DC is the same person who DS1's case was passed over to when it became a 'tribunal' case.
This got me to thinking that despite not knowing anything about this school (except that it may not be suitable at secondary - can only access the NC by leaving to attend classes at sister m/s) it could hardly be any worse and at this stage the only alternative to leaving him to rot is to go to tribunal for refusal to assess and then appeal 2, 3 and 4 and fight for an indi place now. Same school as others on here. LA would fight all the way.
On the other hand, if the head of the ss is willing to support DS2 getting a place this could make things 'easier' in terms of getting assessment and statementing. I was thinking that the timetable of the head was rather optimistic but she may be willing to give a place to DC that are in the statementing process.
atm I don't know how persistent his difficulties will prove to be and what impact and how persistent sensory issues are. I would prefer m/s but not at the cost of his mental well-being. If he would not be able to cope with m/s I would appeal at secondary transfer.
Am I just wishing the fight away?
tia