As you may recall from last year, my DS (5) is currently out of ms school after being threatened with permanent exclusion. He has a place in a lovely ss, but it doesn't start until Sept.
He's out on medical grounds, so we have a tutor come to our home an hour a day since Dec 2nd.
However, she's really struggling with DS, and he hates her. He is stressed all morning before she comes and often shuts himself in his room when she arrives. The main problem lies in that she doesn't really know what she's doing with an ASD kid, despite the fact we were promised she had experience and had taught kids with ASD before.
Her overall tone with him is quite pushy and bossy, and she has made no attempt to build a rapport with him. It's all too "teachery", and DS just can't handle that at the moment. He needs someone who will help him learn, not someone to show him who's boss, and I have a feeling that's her main aim.
I tried to explain his difficulties and how he needs to be spoken to as an equal or he shuts down, but we ended up having one of "those" conversations where she told me how ASD is diagnosed way more often these days and that i should be grateful it wasn't cancer, so I know her opinion on THAT!
DS is a kid who needs to be stretched, or he switches off. He has lots of interests, but instead of using those as a starting point, and building rapport with him, it's her things or nothing. Every day, she brings a bag of board games with her, and DS is bored with them all and doesn't have the social skills to be polite about it. She just sits there while he runs around roaring, and doesn't engage with him at all. I don't feel as though i can leave the room, as she just can't manage him. If I do leave, DS won't stay with her for more than ten minutes.
Yesterday, he found a new game in her bag and showed an interest in it. She immediately shut him down, saying it was too old for him and that he might lose all the pieces. This humiliated and angered DS, and came within a whisker of causing a meltdown. I had to step in and diffuse it, as they were having a tug of war over the box!
I have tried and tried to direct the lessons myself. I leave books out and show her the kinds of things we do ourselves. I end up with him sitting on my lap, doing all the talking. i feel like I am translating for her, because her tone is always controlling and she tells him off before he's done anything, so I have to rephrase what she says so DS doesn't get angry.
He is capable of concentrating, because he will read fine with me, and did maths for over an hour with my mum the other day. He is very knowledgable and I find him very easy to engage and he loves to learn and retains information well. His learning difficulties are very much social ones, iyswim?
I also know he can behave himself when managed properly, as he goes to a SN after school club, and comes home calm and lovely. They take him out to all sorts of public places that I would find difficult with no problems.
I feel as though we fought so hard to get this solution, not sure I want to start rocking the boat again by requesting another tutor, or even if we can ask for someone else. Worried it will reaffirm this old school's opinion that he is unteachable and damage what relationship we have build up at the LA.
Also, i don't want to speak to anyone if it's going to get back to the tutor and then she's at my house every day until September! Arrrrgh, just when everything was feeling settled and sorted.
Just would like to know if anyone has had home tutoring and what the tutor was like. Is this the best I can expect from a bad situation?