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Teacher is a nightmare

6 replies

HugAndRoll · 17/01/2014 19:57

Background, ds1 has ASD and is in year 1 mainstream school. Senco is fab as is the head, his teacher doesn't seem to understand (seems quite stressed but that doesn't help me).

Sorry to ask and post a rant but I got up to school and DS1 didn't have his bag. Looked for it inside and his teacher said that he hasn't settled since going back after Christmas, he's getting upset etc. she only told me because he back chatted her and she wanted me to tell him off (the way she said it). She shouted at him and it took 45 mins to calm him down; she had to remove him from the classroom.

They hadn't had to wear pe kit recently but did today. Ds1 refused (change) she had a go at him and said he didn't have to this time but had to next time as it's dangerous not to(!?).

She said that he's not coping with any changes and puts it down to the fact I now stay at home and he doesn't go to after school club anymore. So pissed off. Two weeks he's been like this, it took him misplacing his bag for her to tell me. Sorry for the rant but I don't know how to get this sorted. She said "I didn't see much of a difference between him and other kids until now).

She's already refused twice to let him have his wellies in school as he doesn't like getting wet (which she said she knows as he freaked on her) as there apparently isn't enough time for him to change into them. He was begging this morning and she told him no in front of me and said I had to take them home.

He has an IEP but no statement as I hadn't thought it nescissary (he's very bright and doesn't need extra help in school academically but could possibly due with assistance on an emotional and personal care level). Is it possible to demand (for want of a better word) a home/school diary? He's been so withdrawn at home and doesn't want to talk or be around people. His sensory issues seem worse and his meltdowns are more frequent.

My grammar is atrocious in the above but I'm so annoyed and I'm typing on my phone.

OP posts:
lougle · 17/01/2014 21:05

Hi HugandRoll, it sounds so stressful.

Is all of the above going on in front of him? I wonder if you'd find it better if you did have a home/school diary as you suggest.

It's difficult with situations where you're seen as a 'middle-man' - I detected that it could get like that with DD2 and I had to nip that in the bud. It wasn't so much the teacher, but more that DD2 was starting to think that I could negotiate difficult areas on her behalf with the teacher. e.g. the wellies - taking them with you probably made your DS assume that he'd be able to wear them, so made it so much worse when she said no. If you had the home/school diary, you could have that conversation without him getting his hopes up.

HugAndRoll · 17/01/2014 21:15

It is going on in front of him, I'd rather it didn't. That's why I think the diary Would be a good idea.

I most cross it's taken two weeks for them to tell me that there was an issue. The diary would prevent that happening again.

OP posts:
lougle · 17/01/2014 21:20

With an ASD diagnosis, though, it's unsurprising that the first week back after a break is a bit unsettled. Perhaps she was waiting to see if he'd settle?

HugAndRoll · 17/01/2014 21:27

That's true. I don't know, it's stressing me out though.

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PolterGoose · 17/01/2014 21:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HugAndRoll · 17/01/2014 22:02

I will polter. I will posts a follow up when I've had the meeting.

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