Please read.

[HoneyCupcakes]

I am at the end of the line with my 7oy I don’t know what to do, I am just hoping that someone else here is going through the same situation with their son/daughter

My DS has been diagnosed with OCD and ADHD he attends a specialist school for children with behavioural problems, I don’t believe that he has any behavioural problems he is just behaving the way he does because he can.

Today when I went to collect him I was held back by his teacher for her to tell me that him and a few other boys in his class have been bullying a boy so badly that he doesn’t want to attend school anymore, I am disgusted but it is no shock to me, when I asked him why he had been bullying the child in question, he looked at me like I was crazy and as if he didn’t know what I was speaking about, every time he does something wrong that is what he does, he will act like he doesn’t know what I am talking about and carry on as if he hasn’t done anything wrong.

He is just making my whole life a misery, I don't like going out during the day whilst he is at school, because I can’t go far incase I get a phone call from his school telling me to come and collect him, just before he broke up for the Christmas holiday he attacked one of his teaching assistants with a pair of scissors it wasn’t too serious but she did need medical attention, and in the past he has pulled out knifes on me, and he frequently does and does try to attack me, I also have a 2 year old from my current partner, he has never ever been violent towards him or tried to hurt him but he has injured my partner many of times.

I don’t even like taking him out in public, it always resorts to him running away or hiding, me having to buy him something to keep him quiet, if I don’t it will just resort into him sulking or embarrassing me. This has been going on for too long I have tried everything but nothing seems to work, it feels like I am going through a nervous break down due to him and it is not fair on my 2 year old as I can't take him out during the day. There is so much more that I want to write but it is just going to anger me more.

[HoneyCupcakes]

PolterGoose Yes the school is awful, may I ask what conditon your son has? I will completely understand if it is personal and you don't want to disclose it. Ouryve I think it was wrong for them wanting to assist him, if I was his age I wouldn't want anyone assisting me they need to give him some trust they already know he likes doing certain things alone, and as for the bucket of water yes it was wrong what he did but the bucket of water was un needed I think the teaching assistant fully well knew he wasn't going to clean it up. It feels like they are almost doing these things on purpose for a reaction. He is sat quietly watching a horror movie (don't ask) in the living room so I won't disturb him just yet, but I will speak to him about todays events before I put him to bed

[HoneyCupcakes]

popgoestheweezel Yes I think so too but there isn't much I can do about it as they think it was right.

[TheLightPassenger]

I agree with polter and others. The constant challenging behaviour sounds very wearing, but a lot of it will be anxiety driven, given he has untreated ocd. Ime of ocd and fears around hygiene it is often, illogically, worse in the home than with family, friends etc. Even if his speech has always seemed ok, it might still be worth him having speech and language assessment to look at his understanding of emotions and social skills

[HoneyCupcakes]

Thanks for telling me PolterGoose, DS has bathed and taken himself to bed tonight and is now asleep, all this was without being prompted, this is why I say he knows how to behave himself, usually he will tell me he is not going to bed. I have to go out tommorrow for the day, I just pray there aren't any incidents, if there isn't I will plan a day out for him on Sunday and possibly invite my friend and her son . I would like to thank everyone for their support I feel a lot better now.

[HoneyCupcakes]

I have had enough now, I planned a trip to Westfield with DS1 and DS2 duration of the journey was fine no problems what so ever, when we got into the carpark he decided he wanted to stay in the car, I ignored him at the time and focused on getting DS2 out of the car into his pushchair. I made the silly mistake of leaving the keys in the engine. In a matter of a few seconds he has managed to climb into the front remove the keys and lock all the doors from in the inside. He then sat casually in the back playing on his handheld console, I called my partner whoms phone was switched off (no battery) I was stood two hours in the carpark until I managed to reach him on the phone, it took him another additional 30 minutes to get to me with my spare set of car keys, by the time I've opened the car DS1 was fast asleep. I didn't want to ruin the day for DS2 so I left him with my partner. I don't know what to do with DS I can't even look at him, it has got to a stage where I hate him and I wish I never gave birth to him, I can't cope anymore.

[HoneyCupcakes]

PolterGoose, I would never take anything you say the wrong way, you have been very helpful, he was fine on the way there, I just don't know why he did that. I do try and speak to him but I can't get through to him I have just had enough. If he doesn't speak to me I can't listen to him or try and move forward.

[HoneyCupcakes]

So how do I go about speaking to him about what happened earlier?

[TheLightPassenger]

Sounds v frustrating. Does he normally object to shopping centres or westfield? If he has sensory issues the sort of lighting they use in shopping centres or supermarkets may affect him, or the crowd or noise.

[TheLightPassenger]

Agree with polter that comments instead of questions can sometimes help in getting a better response

[TheLightPassenger]

Agree with polter that comments instead of questions can sometimes help in getting a better response

[HoneyCupcakes]

Poltergoose I did what you said and sat him down and asked why he locked himself in the car, he answered 'when, where' as if he didn't know what I was speaking about which is very frustrating. Then he asked if we could for a walk I said no, because what he did earlier on which resorted to him punching me which is a regular thing, I have stopped retaliating to this as I am so used to it. Dinner time he wouldn't come to the table and eat. TheLightPassenger, he is fine when we go to shopping centres, he just decided he wouldn't get out of the car and would choose to lock me out. My partner on the other hand is great but DS is aware that he is not his father and he doesn't have to listen to him.

[HoneyCupcakes]

RightRoyalPain I tried to order that book on amazon but they can't deliver it yet, I was aiming to pick it up in westfields. DS knows when he has done something wrong but 'ACTS' as if doesn't know what I am talking about, he is a very manipulative little boy. You may think I'm being horrible towards him but it is the truth.

[HoneyCupcakes]

RightRoyalPain 95% of the time when I do take him for a walk it is a struggle to get him home again, and it gives him the perfect chance to run away from me

[ouryve]

We manage the shopping, but trips are first thing in the morning, before it gets busy and we have a plan. We've also learnt to have an alternative plan, just in case our original plan can't work. Life if so much easier if the preparation goes in first. It also helps to have some sort of outline of a routine to a while day and something for DS to look forward to if he has to take part in something he doesn't particularly enjoy. It might have been that the thoughts going through his mind started with "oh no, we're going to the shops, it's so boring and it will take all day...." and spiralled up from there into something completely irrational. In his black and white thinking, spotting the keys gave him the only opportunity to escape from that demand. Which he did very successfully, to the point where he completely switched off.

[ouryve]

Explosive child is available for kindle, btw. You don't need a kindle to be able to read it - just a kindle app or the kindle software for your pc.

[HoneyCupcakes]

I am taking on board everything you are all saying but things are so difficult especially going out when I have a two year old in a pushchair it is hard bringing him out alone and my partner does worry about me when I take the two of them out by myself and him coming is out of the question it just makes things a lot worst. I am going to have a look to see if they have that book to download on iBooks

[HoneyCupcakes]

I will try