I claim DLA for DS2 (aged 5) who has physical disabilities - severe hypermobility and all that comes with it eg fatigue, unable to walk far, could wallpaper the whole house with his accident letters etc. So I understand how it all works and how horrendous the forms are. He takes up a lot of my time with his extra needs.
Then I have DS4 who is 7 months (6 months corrected). He has ventriculomegaly (extra fluid in the middle of his brain), low muscle tone and a cleft palate (did have a cleft lip too but that was repaired). He hasn't been diagnosed with development delay but it's obvious to me that he's considerably less alert and active than babies half his age. His needs cost a lot of money eg getting him to his sensory sessions at the SN preschool cost £45 a week and then there are the toys from SN websites that I buy for him in the hope that he will get excited by something (probably a waste of money but I feel like I should be doing something). I was wondering if I should be claiming DLA for DS4. But then I think to myself that the extra time I spend on his needs is self inflicted if that makes sense. He doesn't demand much from me, it's me who keeps trying to stimulate him when he'd rather lie there and stare at the lampshade. It's also me who drags him off to the sensory sessions and baby groups when he's not bothered about going.
My step-nan and all her friends think I'm incredibly lucky to have such a calm, chilled out baby and think I'm insane and "making a rod for my own back" for trying to stimulate him. It makes me feel guilty for even thinking about claiming and that I should just be grateful that he's not like DS1 and DS3 were as babies, up several times a night and shrieking for attention whenever I tried to do housework or drink a cup of tea.
He's been smiling for about a month but no head control yet and he can't eat solid foods although I keep offering him things to taste even though I know he can't swallow it, just to give you an idea of how behind he is.