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Need some creative thinking for a car issue

24 replies

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 11:58

We need to replace my car (well, 'need' is subjective, but it is beginning to age, and want to strike before problems occur).

I have 3 dc - dd1 is 9. Technically tall enough to not sit on a booster (136cm), but I want to try to keep her on one, as she is only just over the minimum. She also has a Crelling harness in the car due to behavioural issues (previously things like sliding down under the lap part of the seat belt, occasional fiddling with her seatbelt catch).

dd2 is almost 7, and small for her age (well, tiny really). She only weighs 16kg still, and has up to now been rear facing in a Two Way Elite (she is almost out of this height wise, but obviously fine weight wise!)

ds is 18 months, and just about to grow out of his infant carrier, weight wise.

I want to keep a 4WD, not least because of the locaiton of dd1's school.

I am getting all in a muddle trying to work out how I can fit all 3 in safely.

dd1 is curently behind the passenger seat, dd2 in the middle, and ds behind the driver.

when we change cars, dd2 will go onto a hbb, and so getting in and out past dd1 will be tricky (I drop dd2 off first).

if I put dd1 in the middle, then she is likely to be a danger - she already puts her feet up on the passenger seat, when she realises she can probably reach to kick me, then she will - not to kick me, as such, but because she knows it will get a reaction (any reaction will be classed as her 'winning' - including stopping the car with no comment at all)

If we get a 7 seater, then technically I could put one child in the rear row. not ds, as want to keep him rear facing, and reaching around would be a faff.

not dd2 as she gets out first, so again a faff.

but not dd1 as she can't do her own seatbelt/straps, and so i would be left reaching through and doing myself an injury trying to get her all done up.

plus, with 2 children in the middle row, how could I get one nto the back row without climbing in over the tailgate (not many set up to do this - cue me covered in mud after giving a leg up) as with seats in the middle row then the actual car seats won;t fold down so easily.

What am I missing? (apart from the obvious of training dd1 to behave - a work in progress, but I won't hold my breath).

If I leave dd1 behind the passenger seat, and dd2 in the middle, then I will have to get dd1 out of the car each time I drop off/pick up dd2. WHich is not desirable (behavioural issues again - it would not be beyond dd1 to refuse to get back in the car, again just to see the effect, and I can't just bundle her in anymore as she is big!)

I'm going round in circles - any ideas outside the box? Just about any car considered - 4WD and needs to fit 3 car seats, but not sold on any particular make. Budget healthy (not looking for new, but ex demo or around 18 months old). It shoudln't be this hard!

OP posts:
chocnomore · 10/01/2014 12:23

Hmm could you use the passenger seat for one of the DC?

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 12:30

no, not really. in terms of car safety no under 12s should be in the front seat. the only one of them close to big enough is dd1, and behaviourally that is out of the question

(would also use the car at the weekends, and car journeys are one of the few times dh and I actually get to talk to each other!)

OP posts:
salondon · 10/01/2014 12:37

Can your son be in the middle (or are rear facing not allowed in the middle)?

TOWIE2014 · 10/01/2014 12:40

I have no idea on 4WD being a totally impractical mini driver myself, but do any of them have built in car seats?

vikinglights · 10/01/2014 12:46

Ds in the middle in an ERF seat with a support leg, dd's either side?
I believe the two way elite should only go rear facing in the middle if it can rest on both front seats and this never worked for me and DH because depending on who is driving we need to move the drivers seat considerably.

It is easier to get 2 high back boosters either side of a erf seat because there is more 'shoulder room'.

we had a hire hyundai 4wd that we managed that arrangement in

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 12:52

ds in the middle is soethign I am trying to avoid (but looking like the best way forward). dd1 can be unpredictable, and he is still so little. She wouldn't actually mean to hurt him, but eg she could hold his hand annd then not let go (and grip too hard)

the TWE fits brilliantly in the CRV for that reason - the front seats are where they should be, and it all works. but yes, would be an issue in another car potentially (especially as so many cars struggle to fit ERF seats)

you can get built in car seats, TOWIE, but might struggle unless we are buying from new, as they are an additional option.

honestly, my head is going to explode form all this. there is no 'right' solution, as far as I can see, only a 'least wrong' one.

OP posts:
NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 12:53

oh, and I envy you your mini, TOWIE! I used to have an Audi A2, and I still miss that car (incidentally, dd1's then ERF seat fitted better int he A2 than in the XC90 I had previously!)

OP posts:
boobybum · 10/01/2014 12:55

What about something more minibus-like? I don't really know anything about cars but would a VW caravelle work?

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 13:10

caravelle or similar would be ideal space wise, but no 4WD (over here, anyway - several versions available in Europe). Until recently we had a Viano as our second car, and the seat setup was brilliant. Size not so much, as a couple of the roads down to dd1's school get stupidly narrow (and parking at both schools is a nightmare too - lots of people in big cars with no idea how to park!)

OP posts:
ouryve · 10/01/2014 14:57

The problem with a lot of cars with the pop up rear seats is that the back seats are really not safe if there's a rear collision. Is a permanent 7 seater of some sort a possibility, with easier access to the rear seats? (only 2 kids so not had to consider this option for ourselves)

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 15:21

Yes, the rear crumple zone is a concern which has ruled out more than a few cars! There isn't a permanent 7 sweater which is 4WD I don't think. And that is a high priority as my route is not the best, and dh also has a hobby involving off-roading, so it does get used!

We have an option to put dd1 on the middle seat without a booster, but as I said in my OP it's not an option I really like as want to keep her in a booster but also her kicking out is a high risk.

The number of, quite frankly, enormous bloody cars we've looked at which can't actually seat our 3 children safely and practically is mind boggling, tbh.

OP posts:
ouryve · 10/01/2014 16:07

It's worth bearing in mind that not all high backed boosters can be used in all cars past 135cm. DS1 is 10, now, and hasn't even fitted in a HBB for about 18 months, now, but we're grateful that there are still a few booster cushions available, because he's not long enough in the body for the one in our car to fit him.

I can see your problem with DD1 being able to kick you from the middle, or else I'd suggest a booster cushion + crelling harness. DS2 can kick us from his Britax Traveller+ behind the passenger seat, though - and our car is a long Avensis Tourer (our priorities were comfort for commuting, massive boot and rear leg & headroom for boys who will possibly be teens by the time we get rid of it!)

You could always get a Warrior, Hilux or something of the kind and threaten one of the kids with a cage on the flatbed Wink

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 16:26

Yes, dd1 would be able to reach us from the passenger seat if she didn't have an ERF seat in the way! That's one resin to keep ds in the middle, I suppose, bit don't like the thought of having to lift him over - my back is protesting even as I type that! And there's also the problem of him being in the firing line if dd1 does kick off...

I'm liking the cage option Wink

OP posts:
ouryve · 10/01/2014 16:33

The random squabbling/slapping/pinching/screaming is a PITA, isn't it? I've taken to swapping places with DS1 for the last portion of a long journey. Him in the front seat is safer than the two boys fighting in the back. I can use the promise of moving to motivate him not to respond to DS2's goading.

I've also noticed that DS2 stops kicking when I'm sat with him, which is easier on DH as, unlike me, he can't tuck his arm out of the way when he needs to change gear.

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 16:52

Yeah, it's a bugger. Dd1 isn't too bad, and it's usually motivated by wanting/needing to wind us up rather than targeted at dd2 or ds. The kicking out thing is relatively new, but even so dd2 nearly got kicked in the face and dd1 certainly had no intention to do that, was just lack of control and coordination. We're working on it (and school are too) but it's a long road, as the very fact we are working on it has flagged up to dd1 that we think it is undesirable, which motivates her to do it all the more Hmm Hmm

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 10/01/2014 17:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 17:08
Grin

Sadly, it doesn't solve the parking issue Wink otherwise I'd seriously consider it!

The other thing that has occurred to me (semi seriously, apologies if I offend) is the cars that funeral homes use to transport relatives. They are a slightly-more-practical limo, but the size still puts me off! (And the cost Shock)

OP posts:
PolterGoose · 10/01/2014 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NewBlueCoat · 10/01/2014 17:31

thanks.

I want ot avoid the 'one in over the tailgate' scenario if possible (I know, I know - can't avoid it all!) as dd2 wouldn't be able to get herself up (she is tiny), so I'm back to lifting her in. and then the boot is practically useless as can't secure loads so easily (Blush I am clearly a LOT more anal about car safety issues than I had realised)

hmm. I feel a list coming on with pros and cons. I just hate that I have to compromise at all.

I have just found this which looks interesting. I wonder just how slimline it is. Am off to a volvo garage tomorrow to check it out, as it coudl solve a lot of issues...

OP posts:
vikinglights · 12/01/2014 08:39

Hmm i see why erf in the middle might be difficult. We also found that rearfacing ds could v. Efectively boot his sisters in the face which caused some interesting journeys...... That one we solved by sticking a pair of his big sisters tights on him over his trousers and then tying the danging feet ends together to restrict foot mobility

boobybum · 12/01/2014 11:28

Mazda Bongo?

Davros · 12/01/2014 12:17

We've got a ford S Max with 7 seats for the reason that I often need to keep DS apart from DD as he hits her and sometimes he hits me while I'm driving. He can't do it from the back row. It's no trouble to lean through to sort out the seatbelt but he's not in any sort of child seat. Sometimes DD sits in the back and he sits in the middle behind the passenger seat. . The middle seats all move backwards and forwards individually so you can have as much room in the back row as you need

lougle · 12/01/2014 21:47

We have a Ford Galaxy. DD1 behind passenger seat, DD3 behind driver seat, DD2 in the back. If you remove the middle seat, there's enough room to actually walk to the back of the car, because the floor is flat all the way through.

magso · 12/01/2014 23:10

We used to have a citroen C8 6 seater, with two rows of two seats in the back (forward facing) and and space between the seats like an isle. It was reasonably easy to strap ds in the back row and walk back to the front ( I am very short so perhaps less easy for the tall). It made it harder for him to throw missiles at or strangle the driver! I don't know if there is a modern version of it. Ours was an ex taxi. The only draw back was the limited view when all the seats are lined up behind each other, so ds did not like to be back there looking through heads!

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