Very bizarre request from school, but ulterior motive

[RinkyDinkyDoo]

At DS's annual review today, SALT, class teacher, assistant head of assessment centre, attended as Ds is due a move in September.
We have a preferred SS which we would like him to attend, we knew that they were not considering that one for DS, as we found out from some of the parents of the children in the centre were told in July they had secured a place. Obviously we had not been notified, so had an inkling of what would be said today.
SALT made very positive comments about progress, as did the class teacher, and she agreed his Pscales are on par with the other children, but he is not totally secure on these levels. Also, he needs 1:1 support to complete tasks. They told us at our preferred SS, they do not give 1:1 support.
They then went on to say DS needs lots of life skills to be taught, as he used to be independent in getting equipment, hanging coat up etc but this has 'gone' . I said so, he was able, they said yes, but now he doesn't.
And the best was, they say he has been very lethargic and tired at school for a few months, no mention to us about this, and they think it's because we have told them we work at home with him of an evening on writing, spelling and speech work. So they asked us to refrain from working at home with him for a while to see if this has an impact on his 'tiredness at school'.
Methinks the life skills and lack of independence might their reasons for other SS. But it's certainly left us a little confused, amused and a little bit pissed off.
The assistant head didn't like my reference to DS seems to have been written off, but hey ho, fuck her.
Anyone else been asked not to help their child????????

I take it the other special school has a more 'severe' profile?

Yep Lougle, both the 2 suggested today have more severe profiles, so defo a stitch up.
Quite interestingly, the LEA officer who was there, was very keen in hearing what we had to say and we gave her a copy of our response to the,inaccurate and leaning towards the other SS's, EP report, and she picked up that the EP report stated Ds to be on P scales 5/6, where as we had been told, and have the email from the class teacher saying 7/8. And also backed up by the assistant head saying, not totally secure on 7/8, not oh no defo not 7/8.
LEA officer did say, that the EP report needed a review and they would need to speak to the E stupid bitch P.
And yes, the stop doing work with him comment is well and truly going to be ignored.

Having to show some self control at present.
Both yesterday and today, after the above mentioned review meeting, the class teacher has written in the home school diary everything that DS did at school during the day. Nothing unusual there, but the difference since the meeting, is that along with the activities, there are extra comments :
Minirinky needed support to complete
Minirinky needed 1:1 to complete
Minirinky needed prompts to complete
She has never written this before, and I'm sure she's been given firm orders to do this to sustain their reasons for not our preferred school.
I desperately want to write, 'ok we get the picture' or an essay about what DS has done this evening without any prompts, 1:1 or support.
I think we've reached a turning point in our relationship with the school and teacher.

How bizarre indeed.
As an s/n professional, I literally bite the hand off any parent who shows willing to work on stuff at home.

mmmm. when we received EP report, along with draft statement it said that our son was hurting other children on average twice a month. This had never been mentioned to us by school or EP. At this stage, we already knew that they wanted us to move him and we also noticed that a member of staff who had nothing to do with him had been interviewed! We were so far down the road of wanting to move him ourselves by this stage that we said nowt, rightly or wrongly. They were also trying to put us off naming not only themselves, but the ss we were actually considering. I ignored them and named the school I wanted, wrote several pages outlining why and we got the place. Current school were "delighted" for us and took all the credit lol even though they tried to talk us out of it. On the surface the relationship remained cordial and all the rights thing were said, but I felt that they would turn if we had named them on the final statement or challenged anything at all really. A year on we are in a much better place with child at special school so it turned out for the best, but I try to have as little as humanly possible to do with the old school which is difficult as I still have a child there!

ps when we named the ss school we wanted, if I said refusal of a place would result in us appealing once, I said it a hundred times. I have no idea if this helped. I'll never know what went on really but my view of the world has changed forever.

Tell them that when can demonstrate to you that they are teaching him to read and write and making the progress you expect, you will stop, but not a moment before.

I am having EXACTLY the same argument. It's ridiculous.

Perhaps she needs so much 1:1 support because the method of teaching and environment is not suited to her needs.

I have actually phoned the 2 suggested schools today to see if I can have a visit, as DS's transition is due for September this year. Had a great conversation with the head of one and we are visiting in a fortnight very clear in that they can and will meet his needs. The other head was out.Both of these schools have had recent outstanding OFsteds, so they're not shitty options.
Our preferred school is linked to the assessment centre DS currently attends, so our thinking, especially after yesterday and these new comments is that they can't deal with him at the mo and don't want to.
I'm just disappointed with how we've suddenly arrived at this and the way it's being dealt with at present is quite frankly very piss poor.

Do record in the home school book when he completes work without support. It could be worth a sarky comment along the lines of "He never needed all this support from you before. What are you doing wrong?" to spike their guns.

It's irrelevant that the SS you want doesn't always offer 1:1 support. It will undoubtedly offer small classes, and with specialist teaching and high staffing levels they can probably offer a good mix of support when he needs it plus letting him get on with things independently when he doesn't.

There is still a bias within the system to the 'least restrictive environment'. So you should be able to try the less severe option first and see how that goes. This is how it works for all the 4 year olds stuffed into mainstream with inadequate support - they must try and fail before they can move into specialist provision.
Clearly there was a meeting before the meeting to which you were not invited where the party line was set out to present school.
If your preferred school says it can meet need then what present school says is irrelevant really.
And get the video out to show the indep work at home.

www.theguardian.com/education/the-northerner/2013/apr/11/mia-special-educational-needs-nhs-cuts

Agnes Have you seen this? (sorry to hijack)

I did Nenny, i told them that he chose his own pizza in the supermarket, told me to put it in the oven when he got home and then whilst waiting, he went and got the pizza cutter ready and waited. Wrote that, as they are saying he needs the life skills more than the academic work.
Yes Agnes, i agree. unfortunately the preferred school is linked to the assessment unit, so they choose who transfers up to the main school, so they had decided they can't won't meet his needs. I think they would make sure it doesn't work for him if we do battle with them and try and get him in.
Plus, the suggested SS are only up to year 6 and then he will have to transition, the preferred school could be an option then, as they do secondary.