Ok <deep breath> ds' developmental check appt has come through

[NewBlueCoat]

So I saw the hv in December as ds' development isn't quite right (lots of good signs, but more than a few red flags too)

I've just finished arranging his check up - full 90 minute developmental check with a paed - for the first week in Feb.

All brilliant, can't fault the wait times. BUT (and of course there had to be one!) that means that there are enough red flags for others to see, doesn't it?

And given if already done my mini wait-and-see, and given enough space to keep an eye on what is going on, then that's not so good, is it?

Hv and I were practically sure the referral would be knocked back, given his age (17 months) and the fact that he is doing ok in most areas. But he wasn't.

I KNOW this is a good thing. I'm just having a wobble about being at the beginning of all the appts and checks, and back 'in the system' (which given I am currently fuming over dd2's needs not being met, and wishing we could speed up her route through the system is, quite frankly, ridiculous).

Ho hum. Not sure what the point of this post is, just having a ramble really.

Thanks Polter.

I know it is better to be in the system. And ds needs to be. And after years of predicting it (but no one listening) dd2 is coming a bit unraveled at school (oh, what a surprise. She is coming up to the end of KS2, schoolwork is getting harder, and suddenly she is plummeting from supposedly G&T to 'struggling and needs support' ) so I do know it is far better to be in the system and at least trying to get a bit of paper to wave at everyone.

I think I'm also reacting to the lack of fight - different area, different system, but I am amazed at the lack of a minimum 6 month wait list! It has unsettled me somewhat, as I think I had already prepared to push for assessment once he was turned down!

Well, not necessarily. You have a family history of ASD dx at a young age- they will be more cautious.

Your mini-wait-and-see is useful, but he's so young that it's 50/50 whether the lack of progress is sinister.

You're doing the right thing, and wobbling is perfectly fine.

Thanks lougle.

Tbh, even with the famy history (which is what swung it) I was expecting to be told to wait and see, given his age.

I'm not really used to 'mum's gut instinct' being listened to, and a hunch is mostly what I am going on, aside from lack of expressive language (receptive language is very good).

I did wonder...I thought 'oooh I always thought NewBlueCoat's DD2 is the same age as DD2...why did I think that?'

Just off to a meeting at dd2's school. Obviously had that on my mind in my last post as was researching effort/attainment grades across her last years' reports...

It's never ending, really, isn't it?

How did it go, NewBlue?

Oh, you know, the usual.

Dd is finding getting on with work on her own difficult. She doesn't ask for help though, and instead works out what to do by observing others on her table. It has taken her class teacher until now to realise this despite me telling them repeatedly that dd2 would do this.

She is also then so quick to catch on and assimilate/cope that actually, she appears incredibly able. (Again, they have been warned repeatedly about this)

However, his coping system of dd's couldn't possibly extend to social situations

And, despite dd2 crashing in a lot of curriculum areas, try don't think that the other areas will be affected (despite the reason corner sudden crash being inability to independently process instructions, even the simplest ones). That really made me tbh.

Need to redouble efforts to get dd2 into the system. I do wish she wasn't so good at coping and masking, though, as it is making it very hard for many to admit there may be a problem.

Does she get anxious, NewBlue? Do you have a smart phone?

I swear the only reason they're taking notice with DD2 is the fact that I was able to catch her on video. It's like they saw the girl behind the mask, and now they've realised that they don't know her at all.

That and the SENCO sees her waddling like a duck into school or flying around like a vampire with her coat like a cape

she only really gets anxious at school about drowning swimming. She hates it.

Loves it with us (although still doesn't like being splashed etc, but gets used to it and will tolerate it a bit, as a sort of necessary evil), but really hates it at school. It's the only thing she will get in a real state about - she'll start getting upset on a Saturday morning about going back to school on Monday because MOnday is a swimming day...

we've tried lots of different approaches, but I think she is seen as a drama queen, as she is usually a give-anything-a-go kind of girl who, despite giving the appearance of not being able to say boo to a goose is normally found in the thick of everything, will volunteer to do solos at assemblies, doesn't mind being picked on asked to stand up in front of the whole lower school to demonstrate something, etc yet as soon as it is swimming time, she crumbles, cries, and her constant refrain is "I can't do it"

videoing might be an option, but I think I'd just get 'but we don't see that here at all'

I reckon by the end of the year her class teacher will be mostly agreeing with me (which is what happened last year), but then she'll move up a class, have someone new, have mixed up friendship groups etc, and it will all start again...

It all sounds so familiar.

DD2 seems completely at ease in assemblies, etc., because we've done all the stress beforehand, with the lines, what the costume is, etc.

We too had the 'can't see anything' until right at the end of the school year, then the teacher said 'ooh there is something interesting going on...' then new teacher, etc.