Feeling down how many of your children were in nappies at four?

[autumnsmum]

Happy new year ! As some of you may know I have a dd who is 4.3 and has autism and hyper mobility .although she is verbal she attends a sp sch nursery.she will sit on the toilet at sch but not wee .she now refuses to sit on the toilet at home.cutting a long story short we had a delivery of nhs nappies yesterday and dp was really upset and said its wrong she is still in nappies.can I please ask for my own peace of mind who has or had a child of this age in nappies.thanks in advance

She was almost there in fact..mostly using toilet and even shouting for it when we were out..then sudden refusal and now nothing. It just doesn't Seem important to her I think.

Same with dd2 she has no interest in toilet training apart from shouting and refusing to sit on it

DS1 is NT and was still having regular accidents in the day until he was 4.5 to 5 years old. He is 7.5 now and still in pull ups at night. DS2 has Ehlers Danlos Syndrome and was out of nappies in the day at about 4.1. In our area you can get free nappies from 4 but you have to also meet certain criteria. Goodness knows what the criteria is but I was told that DS2 wasn't entitled as there was no reason for him to not potty train at 4 and someone I know whose DD has ASD and is still in pull ups at 5 but goes to the toilet sometimes was told she didn't meet the criteria either.

DS is 6 ASD and attends a special school - still in pull ups all the time, has just started to have a wee in the toilet occasionally.

Ds was still in nappies/pull-ups until he was nearly 7. He's 13 and still has the odd poo accident but that's mainly because he hasn't got the hang of wiping himself and if he goes to the loo on his own he'll just pull his pants back up regardless.
I was sending him to school in his pull-ups because he's in the taxi a long time being the first pick up and I didn't want him to arrive wet, but then as he got better at staying dry the school would change him into pants for during the day. One day they forgot and sent him home in his pants, I didn't realise until the evening and he was still dry! After that he wore pants all the time so after years of trying and not getting anywhere he sort of got it all of a sudden. Funnily enough night time dryness followed on very quickly after that and he's only wet the bed if he's been coming down with something. Dd (NT) was the opposite, reliably dry during the day from 2.5 but still in night-time nappies long after she started school (we think she was such a deep sleeper she wouldn't wake up even if lying in a puddle!). I was surprised to learn from chatting in the playground that other children in her MSprimary were the same so if you think of it that way your dd won't seem so far behind and it will feel easier to deal with iyswim?

DD (4 1/2) still in nappies too, sits on toilet at school but shows no signs of being ready for toilet training. Not stressing about it though as unfortunately this is not the worst of her problems:(

DS was. We had ABA team come 8 hours day for 3 days to do intensive toilet training with us before successful. Did work and ds immediately dry at night too. You can read up on intensive toilet training online. Child has to be happy to sit on loo being entertained for long time and drink loads (so lots chances to wee) as most first day spent sat on toilet or 1 metre away. And have big reward (we withheld his iPad for a week before).

DS wasn't but should have been really, he was nominally toilet trained but wet himself about five times a day. We had no idea he had SN at that point. Four is still very little. He still has damp patches most days at nearly 7 but mostly manageable

lookslikerain - sorry for being slow getting back to this thread.

I broke it down into tiny steps. Since I knew he could do it, I started by rewarding every wee in the loo according to an agreed rate. On the same table, I had things like behaving well in the bathroom (he was prone to start fiddling with things instead of doing what he went in for), washing and drying his hands properly and other things I knew he could do, but often didn't. With over £10 to put towards lego accrued, at the end of the week, I made it a little more difficult, next week. The rewards for what we knew he could do were smaller and new challenges were introduced, such as rewards for keeping his pull up dry for a whole morning. After a couple of weeks and some shiny new lego, I introduced a hefty reward for doing a poo in the loo, which turned into rewards for doing all his poos that day in the loo, by which point, he was confident enough to choose some pants and wear them for an increasing part of the day. The final hurdle was using his loo using skills at school, after which he got to choose his own final reward for trying so hard.

We didn't push him with getting rid of his night time nappy until the next summer, when he was going to get a new bed. We agreed that his last few weeks with his old bed were a good time to practice going without and get into the habit of going to the loo if he woke up in the night.

Goodness know how we'll do it with DS2, though. We're considering it a huge enough achievement that he's beginning to change his own pull up.

Thanks again everyone

ds2 was out of nappies day time just before starting f/t school, but only for a wee. He only poos every 3rd day so was about 6 before he would sit on a toilet. He was only dry when he was able to stand up to wee.
Was still in night time nappies unitl about 9

Four this February - no sign of getting out of nappies. I'm expecting asd dd - currently gdd non verbal. I don't even consider toilet training

yup. both mine were at that age. they were out by 5ish and 6ish. although my eldest, now 14, still soiled for several years but refused to wear nappies.

DS1 was still in nappies at 5, but out by 5.3 - although he had regular (more than 4 times a week) until about 6 months ago (aged 8.) He's nearly regularly dry at night now, so we've ditched the night nappies too.

He has HFA.