So they're all off for xmas and meanwhile my DC carries on suffering.

[LetZygonsbeZygons]

yes, council services. social services/CAMHS/etc etc etc. and 'emergency' numbers they tell you to 'hang in there' till 2nd Jan.

yes, everyone there deserves time off for hols but those of us 24/7 caring for sn DCs NEVER get a minute off.

(ive even been staring at a bottle of pills today, im at the end of my tether. )

not DCS fault at all, she cant help it, her meltdowns/anxieties/cant sleep in her room as the walls are dripping with moisture and council repairs are shut over xmas, so out of her normality and in my room with me where in her frustration sheds punching and kicking me.

even took her to A & E in desperation (and Im disabled and find it difficult to get out) only to sit there for 2 hours while drunk people were treated for being drunk and we had to leave in the end as DC was having kittens waiting there with all the noise and STILL no one would see her, even though they could see she was having a fit.

and all the xmas kuffufle and being out of routine and NO ONE to help at all.

just had to unburden. DCs worked herself into a trance and is sitting on couch behind me staring into space.

assessments for 12 years? In 12 years they are STILL faffing?

12 years of brick walls/pillar to post/ hell and back and to hell again and NO ONE helps?

and yet ANOTHER meeting mid-jan just repeating the same old bloody stuff yet again.

What sort of meeting and who will be attending? what is the same old stuff that is repeated.
Somebody must be able to help if your child's needs are so complex.
What about education. Does she have a statement?

please, Im trying to explain how it is and just getting bombarded with questions! ive explained in all my posts (I think) how it is.
Im going to have to leave this now, thanks again, but I cant cope with this any more. sorry.

Ok, sorry. Just trying to get a better understanding of why its been so hard for you to access services you are entitled to. Good luck with your meeting. Hope you get some support soon.

thank you.

Wish there was something I could do to help too.
Sorry for all the questions.

I didn't mean to upset you, really hope things improve soon.

Zygons how are you doing today? I was wondering - is there a possibility that you can both sleep in another room until the wet walls are fixed? Obviously the council still needs to step up and get it repaired ASAP. If your DD is 12yo, would she be willing for you both to sleep in the living room for a night or two? Maybe treat it like a sleepover - a couple films to watch, nibbles.

We had a horrible time getting the council to fix water damage due to condensation (actually due to an error made by a plumber that resulted in water going into the wall cavity) that made the water damage so bad the walls in one room were horrible and crumbly and mouldy. It took months and months before they finally fixed it - and that was only because I put together a pack that had pictures of the damage, articles showing the danger of black mould and damp to those with respiratory illnesses (DCs have asthma), and a letter indicating that this repair needed to be completed within their own timelines as outlined on their website for urgent repairs as it was a health risk. They moved us out to another location for a week and got it all done.

Have you been dealing with all this by phone? Might it be helpful to contact them in writing demanding that the repair be done immediately due to health risks?

been using up every credit on phone trying to get through to people, (don't haver a landline only as mobile}, sending emails,drafting letters, ive left 5 emails in my social workers inbox for when she gets back from her luxury hols!

my bedrooms ok, no damage there and I have a double bed so shes fine there, except (spoken about this before) we have nocturnal neighbours who are up all fecking night, doors banging, shouting,sounds like theyre moving furniture etc etc. ive spoken to them before but as I said, we are discriminated and theyre doing it more.

no, police wont consider it hate crime or anti social behaviour, because DCs autistic they think its she that's imagining this, ok, well, I hear it too. same with env health/soc services.
we fight a losing battle every single day.

sorry, I appreciate all your thoughts and concerns but im vjust very tired, DCs grumpy (shes manging a nap atm on the sofa) as neighbours are out today (they'll make up0 for it later, and the latest 'services' excuse? ''well its xmas/new years, expect it'') ive managed a nap too.

seriously (repeating myself again, )TWELVE years of trying to get help to no avail takes its toll and the walls are the straw that's broken the camels back.

Carrot glad you managed to get yours fixed.

LOL at questions!

okay. Im apain with answers as whatever anyone says weve tried and tested!
earplugs aren't practical (they hurt too) as were on our own and I need to listen for DC/unusual noises in house (when you're on your own you become guard of the house).

ive even put up heavy rugs against party walls (very fetching!) but it does F.A.

and noise over noise does our heads in!

will try contact a family, thank you.

OK, here's a thought. Do you have a local church / 'whatever religion you feel closest to' house of worship? Go and ask for help.

Your situation sounds horrendous and for whatever reason, no-one is listening to you or taking you seriously. I think you need someone else to fight a few battles for you.

I have no idea if you're religious or not but most religions place a premium on helping the vulnerable so this may be a quick and easy way to get someone on side.

I'm sorry if this is inappropriate suggestion but I just can't believe that there's nothing that can be done. Frankly your situation sounds the stuff of medieval nightmares!

it IS medieval nightmare!its not that nothing CAN be done its that nothing IS being done, its always, 'on hold/pending/in the queue/waiting lis't etc etc -for 12 years! meeting after meeting (I wish there were still old fashioned tape recorders as Im Sick of repeating the story (and what ive shared herte is just tip of iceberg)and 'erm well, yes, im hearing you, I feel for you, well get back to you...' and meanwhile whats going on never stops.

I do realise were not the only sn people around and theres not enough resources but don't keep us ALWAYS at the BOTTOM of the list!

I have a church but unforch they are no help. the vicars tried in the past (writing and phoning various services and mps etc) but im not the only sheep in his flock (and by that Im the black sheep!)

gosh that sound so victor meldrew and self pitying but again, discrimination.dont feel comfortable saying exactly 'what' discrimination in 'public' (nothing ive done though)

ive even thrown a couple of scriptures in vicars face, not in a nasty way but in a 'supposed to be Christians and a church' way. not vicars fault but congregation in general.

we went to church xmas day and were completely ignored. season of goodwill etc?prob someone will say change church. I want to but no other churches around in our denomination.

okay. you say the walls are wet, are they mouldy, crumbling, visibly damaged? Will it show up in pictures?

What if you tried what we did, and put together a packet showing pictures of the damage, a few articles printed off internet about the health risks for damp and mould in properties, and a stern letter saying it needs to be fixed by such and such a date to be within their guidelines for fixing urgent repairs? I do think it's far too easy for them to dismiss phone calls and delay them, whereas demands in writing are a paper trail that is hard to dismiss. if you keep a copy of what you've sent and send it so they have to sign for it, it will most likely get their attention.

If you look on their website, it should have a section in their housing/repairs section that says what their required time scale is for repairs for different levels of problems, so you can use that to go by.

I don't know if it will help, but I wouldn't think it would hurt.

theyre wet and shiny (with the wet) but nothing peeling or crumbling. weve had damp probs since last year but this winter (not helped by fact I cant afford to put heating on more than 20 mins a day just to warm house a bit) the weathers been worse (whole garden fence came down in the winds last week, they DID come and 'make good' but DC cant play in garden or pop out for a bit of fresh air as its dangerous but they say they'll be back in Jan......oh look, a flying pig...itll be me getting on to them!)

so pics wont really show. its a case of gp/the medical road and the asthmatic/autism card I have to play. again.

Thanx btw!

Oh, just a thought. Our OT was instrumental in getting our fence replaced properly when it fell down - she organised some sort of grant. She also did the same for some adaptations in our home. If your DD is seeing OT at all, might be worth checking into - they have grants available and ours is a council property, so it's not just private housing - and the added plus? If it is something the council should be doing (like the damp) immediately, the council admin that does the disability grants can put a boot up the arse of the housing repairs saying "I shouldn't have to organise a grant for this, you should be fixing it." Again, worth a try.

OMG I was only told (after 12 years) that there was such thing as an OT !! in June this year.

SINCE June they've done F.A. me/social worker/GP and vicar have banged on at them but they live in neverland as far as we know, we can NEVER get hold of them.

seriously, thanks all posters here. doesn't ANYONE else get same brick walls as us? we cant be the only ones surely?

as for disability grants-we both have physical issues but DC has more mental issies-mental-means thewy cant see them, means she doesn't qualify.

Nope. DS has ASD/ADHD and it was no problem. They didn't question his level of disability. The OT said he needed it, and they said okay. Honestly. Best way to get ahold of the OT that I've found is by email. Otherwise we end up playing phone tag. Ring your OT office in the morning and ask for the email to her OT (just tell them you needed to follow up on something and can't find the email), and then drop them an email asking if they can please ring you to discuss the possibility of helping get this repair done as it's causing your DD distress the way it is now and the council will not get it done. And then ask if you can have them come to the house and do an in-home assessment to see if there are other adaptations they can do to make it easier for her, as she is struggling with some things, such as the noise from neighbours, etc.

Nothing venture, nothing gained. Never hurts to try.

We do get brick walls, loads of times, but I've found that when I find someone (like our OT) that helps us get around them,, I take full advantage of it (and she's fine with that). I'm also quite happy to put demands in writing and follow up regularly. And persistence (calm but firm) is important too.

I also laugh about the phrase "there's more than one way to skin a cat" because disgusting as it sounds, it's true. If you can't organise it one way, try another. Keep trying. Sooner or later, it'll get through, it just may take a bit of a twisty route.

glad youre helped Alice.

prob with DC is she doesn't have just ONE thing, eg-downs/asd/autism etc so its the 'box' they cant find to fit her in.

she has almost everything (except downs and cerebral palsy and a couple of other things ) so autism say shes too asd complicated-pass the baton- asd say shes too autistic and learning diffs- pass the baton-learining diffs say etc etc etc- pillar to post and back to me so nothing gets done.

CAMHS are supposed to be child and ADOLESCENT yet they say DCs too old at 12, yet adult series say shes still a child. see the prob? (Shes (and I) also were subjected to sexual/physical/mental abuse by ex) so sh struggles with trying to 'come to terms' with that (As do I)PLUS the teenage hormones starting to kick in (dreading the day she starts her periods, all hell will break loose)at the same time!!! Gaaaaaah!