I think my DS might have Aspergers or similar

[toastedmarshmallow]

My DS is now 6 and has always has slightly concerning behaviours that I had assumed he would grow out of once he was 4 or 5 but he hasn't. I'm now thinking he might have a mild form of ASD or similar condition but I'm also worried that I might be overthinking things.

On the positive side of things he gets on well with his sisters most of the time, has friends at school and is perfectly behaved there. He is a very loving little boy and is keen to please. He is also very bright, he is in Year 1 and working about a year or so ahead.

However outside school his behaviour can be very difficult. Anything that is unexpected/ out of normal routine makes him very anxious and stressed. He still has fairly major temper tantrums/ screaming fits usually as a reaction to an unexpected change but also in response to feeling rushed or nagged or having to stop something he is very involved in (I do try to warn ahead but it is not always possible) He often struggles with social events and needs calming down time.

After school he can be stressed and difficult, I don't know if it is because he has had to cope with being around lots of people all day as well as working hard and behaving well. He very much wants to follow all the school rules and do well. He is fairly introverted by nature and likes his personal space.

Am I overthinking things? It is mostly the temper tantrums/meltdowns that concern me as they seem to be extreme for his age. I have to plan things around his possible reactions and that is also concerning as I don't need to do that for my other DC.

Thanks polter that's good advice about a diary and video. No-one seemed to believe me at school when I told the behaviour we can see at home. I'll look up those books as well.

I agree with polter My Dd3 has a dx of Asd, she is very bright and extremely well behaved at school. This actually causes her a lot of stress though which she holds in all day and then she explodes after school.

If her needs are not met at school she can become serioisly anxious and has resorted to school refusal.

When we first went to CAMHS we were told to use strategies that are recommended for children with Asd even before she had a dx. We did and they were life changing for us.

My diary made the Proffs sit up and take notice even though school were saying there were no issues. We had to move schools in the end and where she is now are brilliantly inclusive. Even they dont always get it right bit most of the important staff do at least listen.

Good luck

That is exactly what my DS is like with school tinsel. Did you go to GP initially and they referred you to CAMHS? I didn't realise CAMHS diagnosed children. I am going to start a diary and trying to take video clips. I'll also look up strategies for children with ASD to see if they help my DS.

The school are very inclusive and have a number of kids with SN, I just think they find it hard to believe that DS might have any difficulties.

Thanks for the advice.

I did go to the GP first but he referred to community paeds who then eventually referred to CAMHS. In some areas there is a different pathway but in mine CAMHS dx children who are too old for the Child Development Centre.

Does your Ds have any communication difficulties? Is he very literal or pedantic, does he have trouble seeing things from anothers point of view?

If he does a speech and language therapy assessment might help with identifying what his issues are. Even though we always thought Dd3 couldnt possibly have communication difficulties when she was younger becasue she talked non stop and seemed to have good understanding it was identified by a SALT that she actually had some significant issues around her communication. These are causing her more and more difficulties as she is getting older.

In some areas you can self refer for SALT or attend drop in sessions.

DS can be very pedantic but I wouldn't say he was very literal as he seems to get jokes and wordplay.

He does have some problems seeing things from other people's point of view. He is generally very caring and kind but he can also struggle to understand what other people might think or feel (not all the time though, sometimes he seems to get it).

He gets extremely upset and anxious when he has 'got it wrong' socially, e.g. hurt someone's feelings, and runs off to be by himself and calm down.

He has a slight stutter at times (tired or stressed) as well, the school are keeping an eye on it.

I have heard and read that some people with Asd actually feel like they have too much empathy and that they are very sensitive if someone is upset.

I can't say Dd3 is like this but I have heard it from others.

Dd3 feels sorry for random things like shoes if she wears one pair all the time she worries about the others left at home and when she was younger she used to cuddle her teddies in strict rotation so that none were let out

I did that with my teddies! I was quite odd as a child I think, very shy and I struggled socially and my DH was the same as our DS when he was little.

He is a very sensitive boy, I just want to be help him when he seems so stressed and anxious.

I agree seeing your child anxious and upset is horrid, its even worse when other people [school] say "Oh he/she is fine when they are here!!"

I would start a diary and get some video of him. When you do your diary make sure you write what the behaviour/issue was, what caused it [if you know] and how you dealt with it. Oh and date and time, you may start to see patterns that you didnt know existed.

Good luck

Thanks again tinsel, it's good to feel I'm not just being a worrier.