Anyone who can relate to feeling down about a really minor diagnosis?

[UpsideRaspberryAround]

Just wondering if anyone can relate, just to talk it out really.

It's been a bit of a scary journey with dd 13m and mobility, mri, queries with general delay, worries about loss of a skill....

The outcome is pretty good in the end, development has picked up and the final outcome is 'very mild hemiplegia', physio and no more doctor visits. At first I was really happy, he put in the letter he feels 'it will be of little consequence' for her. I texted everyone the good news, told them I was happy etc.

Now I feel a bit silly. I am not as happy as I thought. I KNOW it could be worse, much worse and other have it hard but I still want my baby perfect and in a way grieve that that there is something, however mild. I also have to confront issues, rather than pretending they aren't it you see what I mean. I now notice her hand is used less, her wonky crawl and see it less as habit. Also she's passed one and it's also timed with all her friends taking first steps, whilst she still overbalances pulling up or even sitting and looking quickly. I see how she just has that awkwardness about her still that others outgrew, it's not huge at all, quite subtle, but those little things like how she can't roll and arches her back to turn her head rather than just twisting.

I know she'll be fine in the long run, I just feel a bit flat. Plus I was a muppet and goggled and saw all these possible additional issues such as learning needs or seizures (which she shows no signs of!) which added to the flatness.

Anyone relate? Sorry if I'm insensitive posting this, I'm not sure if it is the right place. It's a bit like being in limbo between normal and SEN I guess.

I can't relate to that very well, but I do remember the feeling when DD1 wasn't walking and her same age friends were, then younger babies/children started walking and DD1 still wasn't walking. It's hard when you see a difference.

I hope your DD continues to develop as she has been and the Paed's assessment is completely accurate. You may find that as she grows, it all just fades.

I'm sure it will fade, the difference already is remarkable. As a tiny one her arm was stiff and fisted, now it's just an immature grasp and a lack of preference.

I think it's a mis of fear of the unknown, seeing more of a difference and just general flatness when I convinced myself she was fine.

I think everyone has a period of flatness, just after diagnosis, no matter how minor. Its only natural, it does pass.

I agree with claw- its quite common to feel a bit down or flat after a diagnosis. Before diagnosis there is uncertainty and perhaps a little hope in that uncertainty that somehow it was nothing of consequence after all.

Be kind to yourself. It might be mild in comparison with what it could have been, but it is still normal to feel sad in the early days for the extra struggle your dd will have.

I definitely can relate to your comment about being in limbo between those with SN and those who don't. My little boy is 20 months and has hypotonia (low muscle tone) and some hypermobility, so is not yet walking independently, not talking and has had other development delays, and sometimes when I see others his age wandering round, communicating and being a bit more independant, I get a bit down. BUT then I look at my little boy who is totally happy (most of the time!) and chirpy and enjoying life and each little new thing he works out how to do, and I feel guilty because I know others suffer with so much worse.

I think (in my rational moments) that every parent will have ups and downs, we should allow ourselves to feel sad when we need to, but be grateful for anything positive we do have.

Thank you nicklefish, its good to hear I'm not alone. Dd is wonderful, it's just like we don't fit a little I guess in more public places at times. Its that playgroup interaction isn't it, the whole quiet when they see how old she is... Silly I know