Aspergers and high intelligence?

[Soapysuds64]

DD (11) has always had unusual behaviour traits, but I have just had a 'light bulb moment' that they might be associated with Aspergers. Of note, she is obsessive about things (trains, dinosaurs...), very precise with the time, can't stand being touched, cannot lie. Socially, she doesn't understand if she is told that she is being rude, has only ever formed two friendships (rather than socialise/play with other children she reads a book. She always carries 3 books with her), unless she is speaking to someone about her special interests - particularly music. I mentioned my concerns to her teacher, who said she wasn't sure.... she sees some of it, but in her 30 years of teaching she had rarely taught anyone as intelligent as her (she reads ALOT). She felt that her reluctance to speak to her peers was attributed to the fact that she felt superior to them and found them uninteresting. I see her point, but I wonder if her intelligence is masking the Aspergers, and that she has been successful in developing strategies to help her overcome her Aspergers traits. She has never really had any behavioural issues, meltdowns etc - but I wonder if this is a girl thing?

Does anyone have any experience with very clever kids and Aspergers?

thank you zzzzz. I'm new to all this, so just going by what I have read on the internet. She is due to go to secondary school next year, so I want to be sure that her transition is properly managed, and make sure the correct support is in place for her next year. I guess because she can cope and doesn't cause the school any problem, the school will not prioritise her needs.....

And thank you too Goose. I will be speaking with her teacher formally on Friday and I believe the school will be referring her to the school doctor for assessment (my other DD has her dyspraxia assessment nest week....!!!) I am in Scotland so I am not familiar with assessment/referral procedures, but I am learning fast. I am keen to get a diagnosis ASAP so that she is more likely to get support when she goes to secondary - coincidentally there is a MICAS unit at the school she wants to go to, so she could access some great support if she is diagnosed.

support with her organisational skills. The school she wants to go to is a state boarding school (a music school), and i just want her to be able to get by on a day to day basis (i.e. get to her classes etc etc). Also, she will be with a totally new group of people that she isn't currently at school with, so am a bit concerned at how she will fit in and settle. Nothing major - just someone that understands her / Aspergers to help her through.

DD2 isn't showing a 'wow' in terms of intelligence, but she does come out with some pretty profound questions at times. She's 6 and she says to me, unprompted 'I like being with the grown ups, because they do the interesting things. Children are a bit annoying. I like watching grown up TV. It's interesting.'

I wonder.

I used to seek out the company of adults as a child...

"I should say that my ds1 will, when everyone has stopped arseing about, almost certainly get a dx of HFA"

zzzzz, you speak my language

thanks for your help. I can see that diagnosis is a double edged sword... but I suspect it will help a lot in her getting the support she needs. Most importantly, thank you for confirming that I am seeing Aspergers traits and not just intelligence.

I agree with the others, I have 2 girls on the spectrum both are bright one has a very high IQ, she is undiagnosed and does struggle with friendships and social stuff. I persued a dx for her for a long time but didnt get anywhere.

My youngest was dx'ed after a 3.5 yr battle with the Proffs. She is also bright and somehow doing well academically. She has a lot more issues than her sister and I am so glad she has her diagnosis.

Many girls and young womenn are struggling through their lives undiagnosed. I think you should get her assessed.

Good luck

Before my ds received a dx of ASD (not Asperger's) I was told by a paed that my ds 'was too bright to have ASD'. One EP wrote in her report that ds was in the bracket of 'gifted learners' and he has a very high IQ. At 5 years old he had the reading age of a much older child 'superior range' and this continues. Academically he isn't behind.

However none of this changes the difficulties he has, it just helps to hide them.

You are so right claw

My Dd3's literacy teacher is really struggling to get her head around the fact the a child can be both bright and have Special needs at the same time.

Sadly this is having a negative impact on Dd3

Its like teachers just expect so much more from him, even with a dx, hence my ds's severe anxiety. 'Bright boy' should be able to do that easily, if he cant its 'willfulness' and he should be made to comply.

It certainly takes it toll after a while and becomes a very negative circle. Top of ds's list of what makes him anxious is 'getting into trouble' and 'getting things wrong'. His fear of failure and lack of confidence has such a big impact on his learning.

Exactly the same worries that Dd3 has.

We are once again going to meet with Teachers tomorrow but I know they will just say "She is fine when she is here"

She came out of school tonight stimming like mad

Have you asked how they know she is fine? How do they monitor 'fine'?

DS2 has Aspergers/ADHD and is also highly able (something like 1 in 1000). He has a fear of being stuck somewhere without anything to read, so always carries at least two books with him at all times (sports day, school carol service etc).

He has just moved up from primary to secondary and is much happier at school now. He has been on a G&T Maths day, joined a choir, started learning the clarinet and joined a club for gifted scientists.

Wow threebee that is great news, well done to your Ds.

Claw Good point, they judge fine on the fact that she is not melting down I think. She hasnt melted down at school since reception when sadly I taught her that is was no good making a fuss because I was going to allow her to be dragged off me anyway

She wears a fixed, social smile mask and a tries to be invisible at school, then brings all her problems home.

Sorry for the hijack soapy

Your dd is telling you and/or demonstrating to you that she is not fine. You are telling them she is not fine, you are her voice and they need to listen. It is really common for a child to bottle up their feelings in school and then to show their true feelings at home, where they are obviously more relaxed and feel safe.

Although getting into an argument with school about the 'fine' 'not fine' issue is a bit pointless. There are lots of strategies they can use to find out how your dd is feeling during the day and where support might be needed, rather than arguing the toss and going in circles.

You are right Claw we have done the whole going round in circles thing and the school are on board now, she is on an individual timetable and is out of class every afternoon doing a variety of interesting and fun stuff. Which has helped.

We are still having an issue with one Teacher who she has for roughly 3 hrs each week and she can totally wreck the whole week in those 3 hours.

Hey ho, I get the opportunity again tomorrow to meet with her so I will try again to make her understand.

When she starts secondary, she is much more likely to meet peers who are more on her wavelength.

Apart from one friend who arrived in Y3 and left in Y4, DS2 didn't really have close friends in primary school. Secondary school has been much better for this.

I realise your DD still has two terms of Y6 to get through, and hope you are able to find some solutions to help make her remaining time at primary a bit happier.

The last comment was for the OP, rather than tinsel. The children have been quite demanding this afternoon/evening, so my comments are slightly time-delayed!