Hypermobility and incontinence

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DS1 is 3.5. We've been potty training with no success for well over a year, with me and DH getting increasingly frustrated with him. DS1 was diagnosed a year ago with dyspraxia and hypermobility. He has hernias, flat feet, bendy joints, difficulty walking long distances etc. Nobody ever mentioned incontinence as a possible symptom.

After a particularly bad day today of "accidents" and me getting really VERY cross with him about his continuing inability to just "get it", I started googling hypermobility + bladder/incontinence etc. and my eyes were opened to hundreds of stories of parents with children who have HMS and experience stress incontinence or bladder/bowel weakness of some kind. I am distraught - have spent MONTHS feeling really frustrated and cross iwth DS1, who has NEVER EVER NOT ONCE volunteered the need to go to the toilet and who ALWAYS lets a bit out before then agreeing to use the loo. Feel awful :(. Could it really be linked to his hypermobility? Any advice or help or insight would be much appreciated. Feel so :( for him.

I think you need to speak to his gp or paediatrician before getting worried. My dd2 has hypermonility and ASD ( as well as dyspraxia traits ), like you we struggled with toilet training, we prepared to start her at school in nappies ( school sorted out a changing room etc ...) and we gave up on the toilet training for a while, a week before she started school ( age 4.5 ) we gave it one last go and within a week she was almost dry. She never asked to go, never showed any signs of knowing that she wanted to go but we got her into the routine of going to the loo every hour and then gradually reduced it until she knew when she needed to go.

Hi Marne,
Thanks so much for your message - that's good to hear. Will be phoning his paed first thing Monday to try to get an appointment to discuss. Just feel bad for getting so cross with him!

possibly?

possibly dyspraxia?

definitely not alone. dd is hypermobile (and I suspect dyspraxia) and she had no idea whether she needed the toilet or not. she still has difficulty with early warning and distinguishing poo/wee needs.

I knew she could not feel it coming so it was not a big deal when it happened. keep kitchen roll, plastic bags, spare clothes, antibac spray, in the car and downstairs. she wore pullups at home until a lot older than yours.

DD2 (4) has been diagnosed as hypermobile and is on the road to a dypraxia diagnosis.

She also has hypotonia. Could this be your DC cause? Its a muscle tone weakness that I was told often goes with dyspraxia and hypermobile. Her most obvious symptom is dribbling and sleeping with her eyes slightly open.

She is dry...ish in the day time but not at all at night. I found I need to tell her she needs to go rather than her remembering.
Sometimes she wanders off to the toilet but still needs reminding to stay on the toilet more than 5 seconds and be sure shes finished.

DS1 has mild hypermobility. He was just about dry in the day at 4.2 and now aged 7.5 he's still not dry at night. DS2 has severe hypermobility and severe hypotonia. He was also just about dry in the day at 4.2 and at 5.8 he is nowhere near being dry at night. DS3 has mild hypermobility and hypotonia and we've not started potty training yet, he is 2.11.

Thanks all for posting - really good to hear of others' experiences. Never knew about hypotonia either - have a LOT of questions for the paed when I get a hold of him. His original diagnosis was a sort of vague "oh, and you realize he's hypermobile, yes? ", while showing us that DS1 could bend his thumb back to his arm!! We sort of nodded when appropriate and just asked some basic questions about what it meant. We had originally only had the appointment with him about a hernia in DS1's tummy. He then also pointed out the flat feet an referred us on to a podiatrist. Wasn't really clear at all that all these things were linked or that other symptoms could appear. Will be on the phone at 9am to see if I can get an appointment this side of 2014!

Dd has hypermobility but no developmental delay or sensory processing disorder: she grasped the idea of potty training quite quickly but was mildly incontintent until she was about 9 or 10. She was on medication for a while and took incontinence pads on the residential school trip in Yr 4. The consultant put it down to lax bladder muscles and advised avoiding irritants like coke and blackcurrant juice. She grew out of it eventually.